“If man knows himself to be free and desires to use his freedom, then his activity is play.”

–Jean-Paul Sartre

This week in class I’ve been learning about the theology of play. I’d never heard of this term before, and it honestly struck me as a strange topic. What do theology and playing (ie. doing what you enjoy) have to do with one another? Well apparently a number of theologians feel that when we are at play–that is, when we are free to express ourselves in ways that are pleasurable to us, whether it is work or yoga–we are most ourselves. Playing creates a space for us to be our true selves–who God created us to be.

To understand how play gives us that freedom, just think about children at an elementary school. When they’re in class they are constantly subjected to rules that they probably wouldn’t choose for themselves. They have to obey, they have to perform well on tests, they have to be called on in order to speak, etc. But when you let those kids go free on the playground, their true selves are able to shine. They run around, jump, yell, laugh and engage their classmates. You see the purest picture of who they are without the boundaries or influences that compel them to conform to a set standard.

While this analogy is not a perfect one (small children are actually still being formed into their true selves, and discipline is an important part of that), it still gives us an idea of why play is important for adults. When we are free from the pressures and influence of the culture around us, when we break free from the burden to perform or prove ourselves, when we cease striving and rest in the simple act of enjoying God, His children and His Creation–that is when we are most ourselves, our true selves. That is “godly play.”

Play defined this way is less about a particular activity and is more of a disposition. You are either free in Christ and your life is an expression of your true self as He created you to be, or you are a slave to the world and its standards.

Now if you’re like me, you’re wondering WHAT IN THE WORLD does this have to do with anything? The reason this whole concept interests me is that some theologians believe that we NEED  ”godly play” in order to grow spiritually. I know that sounds like such a weird idea, but it’s growing on me. Here’s why:

1. Godly Play is the Antidote to Religious Works: Throughout the New Testament the Christian faith is constantly contrasted with works-based  righteousness. It’s not that labor, in and of itself, is bad. But too often we seek our value and meaning from what we do or produce. That kind of work, in which we are conforming to a worldly standard that measures us in superficial ways, will also make us least ourselves. Rather than focus on who God wants us to be, we are focusing on who others want us to be. This kind of mentality stifles spiritual growth.

But if you can find a way to do go about the daily grind as “for the Lord, not for men,” (Col 3:23) then every activity is an opportunity to simply worship and commune with God. You don’t have to worry about climbing the corporate ladder or stress about being a perfect mom because you’re already complete in Christ. Your posture towards these various activities can be one of freedom instead of bondage, one of joy instead of tedium. And when you are actively living out your identity in Christ through “godly play,” you are simultaneously growing in Him.

2. Godly Play Delivers Us From Artificial Discipleship: Have you ever sat across a table from a young woman who wanted to be mentored or discipled, struggling to come up with conversation and feeling like the relationship was totally inauthentic? Even for women who love to gab, it can be hard to create relationships out of thin air with women we have just met. When you’re sitting there staring at each other, there’s a lot of pressure to sound godly and to feel like you really connected on some deep emotional level. When discipleship is done this way, it really seems more like work.

The next time you find yourself in that situation, ditch the coffee date and go to the mall, or the park, or the pet store (the ones where you can play with the puppies!). Play tennis or go on a run together. Figure out an activity that the two of you both enjoy and then go do that. It is AMAZING how much more easily conversation flows when you break out of the bonds of strict expectations about Christian discipleship and simply play. When you are both having fun and you’re more yourselves, you create the perfect atmosphere for friendship to grow.

So that is your basic introduction to the theology of play. I think the thing I love most about this idea is what it implies about God. As the Westminster Catechism states, “The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.” Contrary to popular opinion, Christianity is not about rules but is actually about joy and goodness. That is not to say that anything goes as long as you’re having fun, but that God is the ultimate Creator of fun. The closer we get to Him, the more we’ll understand what real joy is, and I am quite sure our worldly ideas of entertainment will pale in comparison.

I know you’re probably wondering what in the world this post is about! I promise this isn’t about some DaVinci Code-esque conspiracy theory that Jesus was actually a woman, but before I explain what I mean by “female Jesus,” let me back up a bit.

Last night I was talking with some women who serve as women’s ministers in other parts of the country. We were discussing the fact that, throughout our service as leaders, we are always in the position of discipling other women but rarely in the position of being discipled. When you’re THE woman in charge, most people either think you’ve got your stuff together so you don’t need someone to pour into you, or no one feels adequate for the job. As a result, you’re left with this constant void that you yearn to be filled by an older female friend. And this deep heart cry for discipleship isn’t limited to women in leadership. Most women I know desire to have an older woman who will reach out and mentor them. That seems to be a constant unmet need among women in churches.

However, I have to admit that there is a great irony in my personal desire for a mentor. You see, throughout various seasons of my life there have actually been numerous godly women who counseled and encouraged me, not the least of which is my own mom. While there hasn’t been one, single woman who’s been my spiritual mentor throughout the course of my Christian walk, there have been many women along the way who took the time to listen to me, encourage me, and give me godly direction when I needed it.

Why then, does the yearning persist?

The answer to this question became apparent when I examined my expectations of what this “ultimate mentor” would look like: She would be considerably older, wise and insightful, honest yet gentle, and she would always know the right thing to say. She would be able to see right through my motives and my actions to what is really going on. She would always know the right verse for a difficult situation, and she would get me. She would have the right answer and the most inspirational insight for every challenge I face. And finally, I would feel totally at home with her, like I could be myself and feel completely safe with her.

The thing is, I’ve never met a woman like that. In fact, I’m not sure a woman like that even exists. Which led me to a personal epiphany about this whole discipleship predicament: When I really think about it, I don’t want a female mentor; I want a female Jesus.

I say this because my standards for a mentor are impossibly high. What I want in a female mentor is essentially Jesus in the flesh, comforting me and giving me the clarity I need for tough decisions in life…but in female form.

Maybe this sounds totally off the wall to you, and maybe you have completely normal expectations of a spiritual discipler, but I suspect that unrealistic standard is why so many women feel dissatisfied in this area. I suspect it’s one of the reasons we are easily disappointed with the women who do offer to pour into us. We’re so pre-occupied with yearning for the “perfect” mentor who focuses solely on us and is this tremendous spiritual mind that we don’t recognize the amazing women around us who are helping to fill that job. (Again, I may only be preaching to myself on this and you may have really normal expectations of discipleship, but this is just where I’m coming from)

When you think about it, the one-to-one discipleship model is not a model we get from Jesus. His model was 12 to 1. Of course he was Jesus so he could handle that many disciples without breaking a sweat, but even so, I think we need to be a little more flexible when it comes to the requirement of having ONE woman who is going to focus only on pouring into us. If you’ve found a female friend who can fill that role in your life, it is indeed a gift and I am not at all discouraging those one-on-one, Paul and Timothy relationships. In fact, I encourage you to be proactive in asking a woman to disciple you if you feel that need. But it’s not the only way to do discipleship.

When Jesus departed from this earth he left us with the church, his “body,” and it is through our relationship with Christ’s Body of followers that we grow in discipleship. Different members in the church community present us with different aspects of Jesus at different times. Some women will comfort you. Some women have the gift of wisdom. Some women will just go out and have fun with you. And when you add up all the gifts that these different women bring to the table, you draw nearer to a complete vision of the character of Christ. No woman has all those attributes, because God didn’t set it up that way.

So all of that to say, one-on-one discipleship is a great, Scriptural concept and it can be a tremendous blessing when done well, but what is more important is that you have a group of women around you who can love and support you with their various gifts, speaking truth into your life when you need it. That yearning for a “female Jesus” type mentor who does it all and always knows the right thing to say is more easily fulfilled by a church of women, not just one. And let that also be a comfort to those of you out there who are thinking about pouring into younger women. You do not have to be a female Jesus who always knows just what to say and has your life all together. The young women in your church already have a Savior, but they need you to help them follow him, share your experience with them, and encourage them with your gifts. You not only have a role in discipleship, but you are designed to be a functioning part of the Body of Christ.

It’s hard to believe but I have been blogging for over 4 years now! Crazy, huh? And during those 4 years I have been extremely blessed to have gracious and thoughtful commenters. I like to think it’s because my arguments are so compelling and sympathetically written, but it’s probably because most of my blog readers are my friends! Regardless of the reason, I count myself fortunate for the general absence of vitriolic criticism in the comments section. When I look at other blogs and articles online, even the most seemingly benign ones, they are often met with scathing critiques.

My blog being an exception, the general tone of comments sections is a sign of the times. According to a 2008 study conducted by the Mental Health Foundation, anger is rampant in our culture: “Almost a third of us (32 percent) have a close friend or family member who has trouble controlling their anger. More than a quarter (28 percent) of us worry about how angry we sometimes feel; and one in five (20 percent) of us say we have ended a relationship or friendship with someone because of how they behaved when angry.”

While these statistics are readily apparent in the people around us (last week I saw a guy actually get out of his car to yell at someone who cut him off!), the numbers are evidenced by my own life as well. In fact, I can think of a clear example just yesterday: I was working in our apartment when the oven timer went off–lunch was ready. However I was in the middle of a task so I hoped my husband would hop up to take the food out. I listened for a moment. Nothing. No movement. Like a self-righteous martyr, I stood up and trudged to the kitchen, all the while angry about how lazy my husband was acting. I put the darn food in the oven–couldn’t he at least take it out? Of course about 30 seconds later I realized that he wasn’t even in the apartment. He had taken our dog outside…something I was too lazy to do.

My anger was COMPLETELY unjustified, yet it came out of nowhere in a flash. Where in the world did that come from?

Anger is a funny thing. It’s a direct extension of our pride, so whenever we feel angry we always feel justified in it. Whatever reason I have for being angry at my husband, a friend, the church, the government, etc. is all reasonable and warranted…so I think. In my mind, anger is my way of calling for justice.

The problem with this rationale is that Scripture says just the opposite. You may be familiar with James 1:19, which reads, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” What you may not be familiar with is the verse immediately following it: “For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” In other words, anger produces the exact opposite of our intentions. We think we are expressing a kind of righteousness when we display anger about an injustice. In reality, we are usually drawing farther from it.

Why does this verse equate anger with unrighteousness? Because anger is easy. Anger is the flesh’s natural inclination.  Think about how many times you get angry each day–When your husband doesn’t listen to you? When your roommate keeps leaving their dirty dishes in the sink? When someone cuts you off in traffic? When you read about government legislation that you don’t like? When you see someone raising their kids in a way you disagree with? When someone is teaching a theology you believe is wrong? When the grocery store ran out of your favorite brand and flavor of ice cream?

There are about a bazillion things you could be angry about each day, and most people allow themselves to be. Yet in response to this inclination James 1:20 offers a checks for our spirits. It reminds Christians that being slow to anger is a discipline. It is something we must work to cultivate because peace and patience do not not come naturally to us.  Anger is rarely ever a sign of righteousness but instead a neon sign pointing directly at our broken, prideful humanity.

Given that fact and given the cultural climate, I encourage you to resist your temptation toward anger. When you are tempted to become angry, think long and creatively about how to respond in a way that is definitively different from the human norm. Even if you disagree with someone, find ways to disagree in a grace-filled manner. This is an area in which Christians could so easily stand out from the rest of the world, but we are not generally known for doing so. That’s why this discipline is so important. It takes time and intentionality,  especially when you REALLY believe your anger is justified (and sometimes, rarely, it is), but don’t forget verse 20 of James 1. Anger does not produce the righteousness of God in yourself or in others. Rather than adding one more angry voice to the storm of fury around us, let’s engage in the discipline (and it is a discipline!) of grace.

I will be the first to admit that I use Facebook as a way to stay connected to people. In fact, ever since moving to Chicago I’ve posted more status updates and commented on other people’s pages more than I ever have before! It’s helped me to feel like I’m still a part of my friends’ lives even though I’m far away. It’s an outlet for interacting with them in their every day lives.

Having said that, there is a growing trend in the Facebook/Twitter world that has captured my attention more and more. I’ve written about these social media in previous posts such as Fakebook and Another Reason Why I’m Not on Twitter, but this post regards a trend of a different sort. It is the pattern of tweeting/posting status updates at–what I would consider to be–inappropriate times.

This trend first grabbed my attention when I noticed status updates that occurred while people were on dates with their spouses, spending time with their families, or even on their wedding night. Technology has taken a lot of blame for stealing our attention away from real, flesh and blood relationships, and this seemed to be a prime example. If you’ve ever been in the presence of someone who is texting while you’re trying to have a conversation with them, you know how this feels. We may be with someone physically, but Twitter/texting can prevent us from actually BEING with them.

In addition to this trend, I’ve also begun to notice the practice of tweeting about deeply personal, intimate moments. Although I understand the desire to share what’s going on in your life with your community, Twitter has become a window into private moments and experiences that, in the past, would have been reserved for God and family.

For months now I have pondered this and wondered what it indicates about our culture. What does it mean when we no longer have private moments? What does it means when we’re constantly thinking about how to describe what we’re doing to a watching world in 140 characters or less?

Well this past week I had a revelation. It came as I read a philosopher who stressed the importance of privacy and isolation in the life of an individual. As he explained it, we are constantly being shaped by influences around us that we many not even recognize. What’s more, some of these influences can be rather destructive forces in our lives. Unfortunately, as long as we remain submerged in the culture–as long as we’re constantly bombarding ourselves with images from t.v., political ideas from our preferred news outlet, or even spending all our time with our friends–we don’t have any space to step back and scrutinize it. Because we don’t allow ourselves much separation from the culture to be with God and our family and close friends, we don’t have the distance to ask ourselves:

How am I being influenced?

As Christians, this is a critical question that we should always be asking. Both inside and outside the church there are ungodly influences that threaten the integrity of our discipleship and the authenticity of our faith. And as long as we are constantly putting our lives on display through social media, we will live according to the inevitable temptations that such visibility bring. Rather than setting aside some private time to get real with God or the people with whom we can truly be ourselves, we will constantly be subjecting ourselves to the opinions and judgments of others, and we are sure to be shaped by that pressure.

Even in the church, our community can be mighty persuasive in detrimental ways. When we are constantly operating under the need for the world to think we have the best marriage or the greatest relationship with God, or if we feel an unrelenting pressure to set an example or conform to a certain expectation, then our faith will struggle to be truly authentic. As horrible an existence as that sounds, we willingly subject ourselves to that rat race when we mishandle social media. In doing so, we haven’t lost privacy; we’ve given it away. And as a result, we may become shallow Twitter Christians who can’t turn off our need to perform.

I don’t even HAVE Twitter and I feel it that urge sometimes–that voice inside me that says, “I want to tell all my friends about this cool experience I’m having right now!” instead of being there in the moment and maximizing that time with my husband. It’s not that the urge to share good news with friends is a bad thing, but that urge is a constant nag in my life that indicates some misplaced priorities in my own heart.

That is why I offer yet another caution to be wise  about social media. As I have said before, technology can certainly be used for good so this is not a blanket statement against Twitter and Facebook, but please be discerning. Below I have jotted down a few diagnostics to check your motives as you seek to use technology in a way that is honoring to both God and your relationships. These help keep my own heart in check, so I hope they might encourage you as well:

• Make sure that Twitter is not an extension of your need to people-please.
• Don’t use Twitter (or texting) as an escape from the sometimes hard and unglamorous work of being with your family or God.
• Don’t allow Twitter to keep you in a constant place of superficial engagement with others. It’s hard to have real relationships when you’re always thinking of your life as a reality show to be displayed.
• And finally, be sure to seek validation and solace from God first. A moment can be just as joyful or satisfying without the listening ears of 1,000 Twitter followers to hear it. An audience of One is all you need.

At this very moment, almost every single one of my earthly possessions is sitting inside a POD (Portable On-Demand Storage) ready to be shipped to Illinois. And in just 10 days, my husband and I will road trip to our new home just north of Chicago where we’ll be living for the next 3-4 years!

As we prepare to move, a lot of people have asked us if we’ve been given any recommendations for churches in the area. We’ve heard about a few but we are certainly open to more suggestions. If you know of a great church in the northern suburbs of Chicago, we’d love to know about it!

This is the first time in 6 years that I’ve had to even think about finding a new church, and the prospect is a daunting one. We’re moving to a mega-church region where the choices can be overwhelming, but we don’t want to waste a year visiting church after church after church. We want to have high standards without being overly picky about things that don’t ultimately matter, which has led me to reflect a lot in the past couple months on what I want in our next church home.

Well after much reflection, I’ve settled on the ONE thing that I want in a church. It might sound pretty basic, but it it’s actually very difficult to maintain consistently which is why a lot of churches struggle to achieve this:

Gospel-centeredness.

I know, I know. Gospel is the “it” word right now that almost every single evangelical preacher in America drenches his sermons with. Every church planter writes this term into his mission statement and a lot of the popular books about church are written about it. Given the trend, this shouldn’t be a hard church to find, right? Not necessarily.

It can actually be very challenging to lead a Gospel-centered church. The reason it is difficult is that our human nature fights the Gospel every day. We are constantly tempted to fall into the “doing” of religion. Churches can easily get distracted with programs or strategy or being relevant. That’s why the Gospel is something you have to discipline yourself to focus on every single day. Otherwise you will gradually become a disciple, or a church, who is very busy but not all that focused on Christ.

That’s also why we have to be careful about using the word “Gospel” all the time without remembering what that word actually means. It’s so easy to use trendy Christian language that is totally disconnected from the life of your church. So when I say “Gospel,” I am referring to the reality that my nature fights God in every way that it possibly can, which is why I am utterly dependent upon God’s grace to deliver me from myself. And this redemption was achieved through Christ’s death on the cross. Through faith in Jesus, I have salvation for every day of my life, which I need because my flesh continues to fight that message even now, and always will this side of eternity.

It took me a long time to realize just how important the Gospel message is for my every day life. For the last 6 years I have heard my pastor explain the Gospel at the end of every one of his sermons. And for a majority of those sermons I tuned out at the end, or at least spent time in prayer for the non-Christians in the sanctuary who needed to accept it. But the idea that I needed to hear the Gospel myself? That wasn’t even on my radar.

Over time, however, I’ve realized that I need to hear the Gospel every week because my human nature resists it and forgets it every week. I need to preach the Gospel to myself every day so that I can live into my salvation rather than fall back into my old ways. And that’s why I need a church that is intentionally Gospel centered, not meaning that it throws the term “Gospel-centered” around a lot, but that it is driven by the knowledge that without a disciplined focus on the message of Christ in every area of the church, every day of the year, the church will lose its focus and its power. It will cease to be the Body of Christ it was designed to be.

I have been very fortunate to serve at a truly Gospel-centered church for the last 6 years. My church’s focus on the Gospel has changed my life and profoundly shaped the way I teach. So that is all I’m looking for–a church that preaches and lives out the Gospel every single day. I don’t care about the size or the music. Just the Gospel.

Let me know if you know of a church like that!

Have you ever been reading a story in the Old Testament and thought it sounded completely weird? Have you ever encountered stories that sounded very unlike the God that you see in the New Testament? If you haven’t, then you’re probably not paying close enough attention. The Old Testament is full of very difficult stories that can be tough to reconcile with the loving God we see in the Gospels. Because of this difference, people have either concluded that the God of the Old Testament should be discarded, or they simply ignore the complexities altogether. Neither is an appropriate response.

In the face of stories that we don’t like or understand, it’s important that we give the time, thought and prayer to exploring them. Sometimes the most difficult passages yield the most valuable lessons. I had this experience just the other day as a read a strange and surprising story in 1 Kings 13.

In this passage, a “man of God” (we’re never given his name) is sent to rebuke the king for his disobedience to God. Once the king believes the warning he invites the man of God to stay and eat with him, but the offer is declined. According to the man of God, he has been given specific instructions by God to warn the king, but he must then return directly home without stopping to eat or drink. So the man of God accepts nothing from the king, saddles his donkey and heads home.

Then the story gets weird. An old prophet in Bethel heard this story and wanted to find this man of God. He found out the direction in which the man of God had left, and rode after him. When the prophet finally caught up with him, he invited the man of God to his house for food and drink, an offer that was again declined because of God’s specific instructions. To this the prophet had an interesting response:

“I too am a prophet, as you are. And an angel said to me by the word of the LORD : ‘Bring him back with you to your house so that he may eat bread and drink water.’”

This was a lie, but the man of God believed the prophet and went home with him. After eating and drinking at the prophet’s house, God rebuked the man of God for disobeying his command, and foretold his punishment: he would not be properly buried with his ancestors, a sign of great shame. So the man of God left the prophets house, only to be killed by a lion.

I don’t know about you, but I thought this story was very strange and a little bit disturbing. Not only did the punishment seem too severe, but the prophet wasn’t punished at all! If anyone should be mauled by a lion, it should have been him! What are we to make of passages like this?

First, we should be careful not to read these stories as a prescription of God’s future actions. Disobedience to God will not automatically earn you a lion attack. Nor should we see the man of God’s death as a final judgment on his soul. Death in this life does not equal death in eternity.

What we should look for are hints about the character of man and the character of God. What can we learn? Well as I studied this passage and pondered it for awhile, I realized how often I make the same mistake as the man of God. How easily I stray from the path that God has given me because I have listened to a trustworthy source offering good advice instead of listening God! The prophet not only sounded reliable, but his lie would have also been welcome news. The man of God had been fasting his entire journey and was probably very hungry. He must have thought, “God must have changed His mind because I’m so hungry! He is providing for me!” All in all, this may not have been a brash decision but a well thought out one. All signs pointed to go.

This story therefore provides us with a template for weighing our decisions against the leading of God. First and most obviously, we should be wary of the voices who seem reliable but lead us to blatantly contradict the Word of God. After all, that is exactly what the prophet did–he contradicted the clear command of God and made God out to be a liar. Similarly, when dealing with the clear commandments of Scripture such as murder, adultery and greed, there is no exception clause.

However, there is also a more nuanced level of meaning to this story. It urges us to persevere with diligence in the things that God has called us to. We must guard against distractions along the way, even when the cause is good. As already mentioned, the man of God was hungry and needed to eat, so it was not unreasonable for him to think that God would answer this desire. God’s harsh response to the man of God’s distractedness reminds us that He cares greatly about our time. He cares about our schedule and whether it is submitted to Him. We can be serving in every ministry of the church yet disobeying God in the process.

All of that to say, one of the lessons we can take from this story is the importance of saying no, not simply as a matter of time management but as a matter of obedience to God. Guard your schedule and be shrewd about your commitments. Don’t take on too much. Not only is it unwise to overload your calendar, but there can be a seed of disobedience in the heart that is so undiscerning.

A couple months ago I mentioned a book I recently read entitled Classic Christianity by Bob George. As I mentioned before, it’s full of great illustrations that bring the Gospel to life in helpful ways. Having said that, I want to share one final illustration with you. It’s been on my mind a lot lately, and I couldn’t say it better myself.

As a preface to this excerpt, George is describing the spiritual apathy and complacency that defines the lives of so many Christians today. He then offers an analogy that articulates where this lukewarm-ness is coming from:

“The Christian world that we have fashioned reminds me of a real city in the desert–Las Vegas, Nevada. If you think about it, there isn’t any special reason for Las Vegas to even exist. But taking advantage of the legal gambling in Nevada, people have made that city a mecca for vacationers. As far as the world is concerned, they have built the flashiest, most exciting playground in America–right in the middle of the desert, in a place that no one would ever visit otherwise, let alone live. If your intention is to excite and gratify the flesh, Las Vegas is just about the most comfortable and entertaining place you can imagine.

Like a ‘spiritual Las Vegas,’ the Christian world has built ‘Tinseltown in the Desert.’ It looks pretty on the surface, but it’s nine miles wide and one inch deep. It’s flashy, it’s something exciting, and it will keep you occupied–for awhile. But every now and then, a small voice in our hearts begins asking, ‘Is this really what the Lord Jesus had in mind when He talked about an ‘abundant life?’”

What a challenging illustration! Have you found a way to distract yourself from the mediocrity of your faith? Do you keep yourself so busy that you don’t have to think about the areas of your life that are not surrendered to God? Is your Christianity a spiritual Las Vegas? I encourage you to go to God with these questions this week!

Ever since Ike and I became engaged we started working out together. I should note that I did not go to the gym regularly at any point in my life until I married someone to whom it was important, so I’m still adjusting to this new activity in my schedule. For the most part I really enjoy it, but there’s one thing that is kind of frustrating about it–you can’t take a week off. At least, not really. As you probably know, muscle strength isn’t something that you can store up. If you don’t continue to build your strength, or at the very least maintain it, you’ll lose it. So while a week off won’t erase ALL the work I’ve done, I can’t expect to return to the gym with quite the same degree of strength. There will be a small amount of deterioration.

Interestingly, our spiritual lives are a lot like that. We tend to think of spiritual knowledge as something that we learn and then file away in the same way that a computer stores data. But spiritual growth isn’t really like that. It’s more like building muscle. If you step away from communing with the Holy Spirit, your spiritual growth will stop, and then start to whither.

Another helpful way of thinking about this is to remember the Israelites in the desert. In Exodus 16, God sustained the Israelites by providing them with a funny substance to eat called “manna.” Here’s an excerpt from the story:

Then the LORD said to Moses, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions. On the sixth day they are to prepare what they bring in, and that is to be twice as much as they gather on the other days.” Then Moses said to them, “No one is to keep any of it until morning.” However, some of them paid no attention to Moses; they kept part of it until morning, but it was full of maggots and began to smell. (16:4-5, 19-20)

Our time with the Lord, our spiritual bread, is just like that manna. While we can certainly store away knowledge about God, it’s our intimacy with Him and our growth in the Spirit that doesn’t keep. It’s essentially got an expiration date on it–not in the sense that you will lose your salvation if you go too many days without spending time with God–but you can’t expect to experience the fruits of God’s presence if you’re never actually in His presence.

That’s one of the traps I hear a lot of Christians fall into when they remove themselves from Christian fellowship and time in the Word, claiming, “I was raised in the church. I already know all of that stuff.” Unfortunately, that knowledge is about as useful to you as knowing that manna is nourishing, yet refusing to eat it.

That is why it is crucial to spend time with God every day, reading His Word and talking to Him in prayer. The main point of your quiet time is not learning some new insight or blessing. Yes, those things may come, but if that’s your main goal then a quiet time will seem like wasted time when you don’t glean those things. The main point of a daily time with God is just that–time with God. God, not knowledge about God, is your spirit’s daily manna. If you skip a day you may not notice a difference, in the same way that someone can skip a meal without much fuss. But if you skip too many meals your spirit will eventually starve, no matter how much knowledge about God you might have.

Lately God has been revealing to me the destructive power of “should” in my life. For you to understand what the heck I’m talking about, let me back up.

As I mentioned a couple of posts ago, I recently read this great book called Classic Christianity by Bob George. I’ve really enjoyed it, and in it he challenges this common but misguided notion that many Christians hold:

Salvation is by faith, but sanctification is by works.

Sanctification refers to the growth of the Christian disciple. As we follow Christ we are made more and more like him. That is sanctification. Unfortunately, many Christians mistakenly believe that sanctification is our job to achieve. While salvation comes through faith alone, there is a sense that once you’re in you’ve got a lot of work ahead of you.

As a result, Christianity ends up looking like a bad credit card deal. It’s free to join but there are a lot of hidden fees. We have forgotten that faith is not simply the entry point; it’s the engine that drives the Christian life. You don’t have to justify yourself before God as a Christian anymore than you did when you first put faith in Christ.

Now here’s the tricky part–I KNOW all that. I have known all that for a long time. In my head, that is. Intellectually, I understand that I don’t have to do a single thing to be accepted by God. However, there is an apparent breakdown between what I know and how I’ve been living. And that breakdown can be summarized with one word: Should.

I know that I don’t have to do anything for God to accept me, but there are still a lot of things that, as a Christian I should do. I should go to church every Sunday. I should go to Bible study each week. I should have a daily quiet time. And the list goes on and on.

It’s not that any of those things are bad–they’re not. In fact, all of those things can help a Christian to grow and experience greater fellowship with God and others. The problem is not the activity, but the motive.

If we don’t start with love for God, and we simply dive into the Christian life out of a sense of obligation, then we’ve short-circuited the whole process. While discipline is an important aspect of the Christian life, it should always, always ALWAYS begin with love for Christ.

To give you an illustration, the Christian faith should look more like a passionate marriage than an arranged one. In a passionate marriage, two people delight to love and serve one another. Yes, discipline is involved and sometimes you have to do things that you don’t always like, but it all ultimately stems for your great love for the person. It’s all on an overflow of the heart. An arranged marriage, on the other hand, puts duty first and love second. There is a hope that one day love will grow, but it might not. Obligation tends to stifle passion.

With all of that in mind, be careful of the “shoulds” because they will stifle your passion for God. It doesn’t matter where you started–even if you were the most radical Christian around, the obligation of the “shoulds” will start to weigh you down. Your faith will feel more like a burden than a joy, and it will hinder your love for God in the process. You might even become bitter toward Him.

“Should” is the language of legalism. It is the language of the Pharisees. Those guys had more “shoulds” than you could possibly imagine. They were “shoulding” all over the place, so to speak. And as a result they didn’t even recognize God when He came to earth and stared them in the face. So cast off the shoulds and focus first on loving Christ. Spend time in His Word. Meditate on His love for you and pray that He would help you to love with an unquenchable passion. Out of that love will flow the fruits of discipleship, not because you should but because you cannot help yourself. And be on your guard because legalism is always just around the corner. When you least expect it, should happens!

In case you’re wondering why I didn’t post any audio from Women’s Bible study last week, it’s because Durham was hit with a snow blizzard. That’s right, a whole quarter of an inch fell on our city during the night and melted almost as soon as the sun hit it. So we responded appropriately by delaying all our school openings the next day.

As a result of our snow armageddon, we had to cancel Women’s Bible study for the week. But now we’re back! This week Cas spoke on Philippians 2 and you can listen to it here:

Cas brought a great message, and as I’ve reflected on the chapter of Philippians 2 this week I’ve particularly been struck by verses 5-11:

5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

This passage, and the story of Christ’s sacrifice, is not only liberating in that it reminds us of our salvation, but it also provides us with a road map for how we should live our lives. This passage is the ultimate example of what it means to be like Christ, but not in the way you might think.

To understand why I’m getting at, begin by considering the following quote by C.S. Lewis:

“The more we get what we now call ‘ourselves’ out of the way and let Him take us over, the more truly ourselves we become…I am not, in my natural state, nearly so much of a person as I like to believe: most of what I call ‘me” can be very easily explained. It is when I turn to Christ, when I give myself up to His Personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own…Until you have given up yourself to Him you will not have a real self.”

In short: Only the One who created you knows who you truly are, so stop trying to find your identity in other things. Once you surrender yourself fully to God, then you will become your true self–what you were created to be.

The reason I included this quote from C.S. Lewis is that his words provide us with a lens through which to read Philippians 2. When Paul says that we should have the same attitude as Christ, he is not referring to Christ’s humility and suffering. Anyone can act humble and anyone can suffer without having any motivation related to Christ. Paul is referring to something else.

The REAL goal, the true way of modeling Christ, and the actual meaning of Paul’s word in Philippians 2, is by doing what C.S. Lewis described above. Like Christ, we should give ourselves up and make ourselves “nothing” so that God has room to move in. Then, and only then, will we be our true selves, what we were created to be. And only then can God be clearly magnified. While it is possible to do this through humility and suffering, it is Christ’s attitude behind them that we are to specifically model.

Christ’s humanity “became nothing” so that God’s glory could shine through. By letting his human body be crushed, he gave us a more clear picture of the ways and character of God. And that is what it means to have the same attitude as Christ. We make less of ourselves so that more can be made of God. We must let go of the things about ourselves that we cling to instead of God so that when people look at our lives, they see Him, not us.

Christ made himself nothing on the cross by the way in which he faced suffering, but there are other ways of making ourselves nothing as well. We can choose to forgive instead of hate. We can choose to be kind to someone who gets our our nerves. We can choose not cuss someone out who cuts us off in traffic! There are countless ways to cling to God’s strength instead of our own human strength, and in doing so make much of His abilities instead of our own.

The way we respond to suffering is only one of the ways that God’s glory can shine through us, so we should neither avoid nor pursue it. The only thing we should actively pursue is the attitude behind Christ’s suffering. It is because of his attitude that we have the clearest picture of God’s nature, character and power when He is nailed to a cross. That attitude is what we are to model every day of our lives.