Theology for Women

One of my favorite verses in all of Scripture is Hebrews 11:8. It goes like this:

By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.

The reason I love this verse is that it so frequently reflects where I am in life. Every now and then, (kind of like right now!) I feel like I’m just floating along through life with no particular direction. Do you ever have those times? There doesn’t even have to be something specifically bad going on in your life–it’s just that you feel kind of blah about it all. There’s nothing really driving you because you don’t feel that strongly about anything that you’re doing with your life, whether it be your job, school, or even your faith. Now I may be the only one who ever feels that way, but I feel like that a lot, actually.

It’s really hard to move forward when you don’t know where you’re going. It’s hard to get excited about life when there’s nothing really substantive about which you can get excited. For some of you, the idea of getting up every morning at 6am to go to a lame job where you hate the people you work with for 8 hours each day can suck the life out of you. For others, you may absolutely hate school, and you are counting down the days until you graduate. And then for some it’s more of a spiritual battle. Your faith doesn’t have the same newness and excitement it had when you first became a Christian. I can’t tell you how many times I have sat in church thinking, “What am I doing here? Is this for real, or am I kidding myself and I’m merely singing to the sky because there’s nobody up there who is actually listening?”

Whatever your wilderness is, and no matter how it plays out, it always feels harshly bleak. It’s tough to keep going, and it’s hard to be excited about the life that you’ve been given since you question every aspect of it. But how do we push through such a season, especially when it feels interminably long?

Well it is here that my man, Abraham, really encourages me. One of the neat things about Genesis is that we’re given no introduction to Abraham. He just shows up in chapter 12, and for all we know he is a complete loser. There is nothing special about him that led God to chose Him; He simply did.

So here is Abraham, probably tending sheep or something and living the good life, when God comes to him out of nowhere and tells him to leave. And does Abram protest, or say he’s scared and that he doesn’t want to wander off into the wilderness? No, Abram simply goes, even though he doesn’t know where he is going. And even though Abraham didn’t complain at the time, I bet you he was pretty worried about the security of his future, if not completely terrified. Who wouldn’t be?

But as we trace the path of Abraham in the chapters following Genesis 12, we see that God not only directed Abraham’s path each step of the way, but he used Abraham to bless the entire earth. Generations of humanity would look back to him as one of the greatest leaders in all of Scripture. Abraham didn’t know where He was going, but God clearly did.

God used Abraham greatly, but it all started out by bringing him into the wilderness. And this is wonderful news for us, because sooner or later God will call us into the wilderness as well. There will be times when our lives seem devoid of hope or promise, but we need to follow Abraham’s example and just keep walking forward. Whether that means hanging in there with a crappy job, going to those dreaded classes and doing our best, or persevering in going to church and worshipping God even when we can’t feel Him, we still have hope. By remembering God’s faithfulness to Abraham, we can trust that He will be faithful to us as well. We may not know where we’re going but God does, and if my ending is half as good as Abraham’s, then I don’t even have to think twice–that is a path I definitely want to be on.

“And your renown went forth among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through the splendor that I had bestowed on you, declares the Lord God. But you trusted in your beauty and played the whore because of your renown and lavished your whorings on any passerby; your beauty became his.” –Ezekiel 16:14-15

In general, there are two ways in which a girl’s insecurity will play out. One, she will be shy, she will hide her body, and she will silently hate certain parts of herself, her physical features, her personality, etc. The second way in which her insecurities will play out is that she will do the exact opposite–rather than hide herself, she will overexpose herself, either by dressing immodestly, or being overly flirtatious.

Now one might think that the second behavior is just the opposite of insecurity. If anything, it would seem to emit confidence, not doubt or fear. But on the contrary, this second behavior stems from the exact same source as the first–a lack of trust in God. Rather than trusting in God for value and worth, these girls trust in their beauty.

Before I explain exactly what I mean by the phrase “trust in your beauty,” let me back up for a moment and explain what the above Scripture has to do with the topic of insecurity. When you read it, you probably thought it was a little out there, if not a little harsh. Well, to give you the context for it, the whole of chapter 16 in Ezekiel describes God’s faithfulness to Israel, and Israel’s subsequent unfaithfulness to God. Israel was alone and naked, but God clothed her and made a covenant commitment to her, enrobing her in precious garmens and jewels, cleaning her off so that she was as pure as snow, and making her His. Unfortunately, Israel repaid God by taking those gifts of grace and using them for her own selfish ends. Rather than remembering God’s faithfulness and worshipping Him for it, Israel began to trust in the gift, rather than the Giver. Israel turned those gifts into idols to be worshipped, served, and used to gain glory for herself, rather than God.

Not only is this passage extremely challenging to Christians, since everything God does for Israel is exactly what He does for us, but I find the specific imagery of chapter 16 to be particularly challenging for women. Oftentimes we as women feel tarnished by life, taken advantage of by the people in our lives, worn and ragged and alone. But God chooses us for Himself. He picks us up, cleans us of our dirty past, clothes us in beautiful robes and makes us into precious princesses. He makes us feel desirable and adored. He makes us feel beautiful.

But just like Israel, we begin to trust in our beauty, rather than the God who made us beautiful. And this brings us back to my original point. Almost every woman, at some time or another, is going to trust in her beauty, rather than trusting in God. Now we typically think only those women who are extremely flirtatious or exhibitionist struggle with it, but the temptation is there for all of us. Just because you don’t think you’re a super model doesn’t mean you are innocent of trusting in your beauty.

For some of you, the act of trusting in your own beauty will not display itself until a guy starts to show you attention, perhaps only flirting with you or showing you attention, or perhaps pursuing you in a dating relationship. But no matter the circumstances, there generally comes a point at which every woman is tempted to trust in a guy’s attraction to you, rather than God’s perfect timing for you. There is something exciting and even intoxicating about having a guy show you attention, so rather than sideline that feeling in favor of seeking God’s will and trusting in Him for affirmation, we run with it. We love the fact that a guy finds us attractive, even if his attraction is based on superficial things, so we rely on that feeling to satisfy us. And it is in that moment that we are trusting in our beauty, rather than God.

In this way, we must not deceive ourselves into believing that just because we don’t think of ourselves as “beautiful” doesn’t mean we won’t be tempted to trust in our beauty. In chapter 16 of Ezekiel, beauty is defined as that element that attracts others to Israel and brings glory to herself, so for us, beauty can be thought of as any element of ourselves that attracts people to us. And while beauty can be a very good thing since God is the one who makes us beautiful, we must ask how we are using our beauty. Are we attracting guys for our own selfish ends so that we can boost our own self-confidence, or are we using our beauty for the sake of glorifying God? That is indeed a convicting question for me.

“If I say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die,’ and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, in order to save his life, that wicked person shall die for his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand.” –Ezekiel 3:18

Yesterday afternoon my roommate and I went to the pool to lay out while we studied, and I brought my dog along. Ellie is pretty sweet and cuddly, so she tends to be the kind of dog that attracts people, and this afternoon was no different. As Rachel and I sat there reading, two teenagers swimming in the pool began to migrate in our direction. Eventually one of them got out of the pool and began talking to me about how much she liked my dog, asking what kind of dog it was and how she would love to get one too. I kid you not, when this girl opened her mouth, she sounded exactly like Paris Hilton. And of course her best friend was no different…it was like chilling at the pool with Paris and Nicole. They were lathered up in tanning oil as they floated on little inflatable chairs sharing a cigarette and inserting the word “like” about 5 times per sentence. They asked Rachel and me if we were in school, and when we said we were in “seminary,” they looked at us blankly. I’m pretty sure they’d never heard the word before.

But, as unintentionally entertaining as these girls were, they were also super sweet, and we eventually struck up a conversation. They were both 18, just out of high school and not yet in college but they had big dreams. When they finally got around to asking what seminary was, Rachel and I explained that we’d both be working for a church one day, so that launched us into a discussion about religion. One of the girls had actually been to our church a couple times and liked it. The other girl didn’t go to church, but she said she believed in God and thought that was good enough. Rachel and I both listened, and talked about the reasons why we like our church and how it was different from a lot of other churches. This conversation went on for awhile, but eventually they had to leave, and that was the end of it.

Even though I really enjoyed talking to them, and was glad I could encourage them to check out our church, I ended the conversation wondering if I had totally sold out. When the one girl said that she believed in God and thought that was enough, neither I nor Rachel protested. We just sat there and listened. Was our response the right, or the wrong one? On the one hand, what she said was completely false, but on the other hand, I hadn’t really earned the right to be heard. I am a firm believer in establishing a relationship with someone as part of ministering to them, so that they know you’re not merely trying to convert them, but that you actually care about them. In this instance, I figured I could come back to the pool and get to know the girls better, and keep the conversation going. I comforted myself with that, put it in God’s hands, and left it at that. But is that the right response?

Well today I was reading through Ezekiel, and God smacked me upside the head, big time. I read the above verse, and felt some major conviction. While I am not responsible for changing someone, I am definitely responsible for getting the word out there, rather than backing down like a wuss. And when I do back down, God holds me responsible. That’s exactly what he told Ezekiel, and I think that message still holds true today.

But the question remains, when do we intiate, and when do we wait? We all know the Christians who leave Gospel tracks in the bathrooms at restaurants, and go around knocking on doors and sharing the Gospel. I never want to be that Christian, because it seems so disingenuous, like it’s nothing more than a numbers game. But at the same time, we have this inconvenient passage in Ezekiel hanging over our heads. Every time we back down from sharing the Gospel, that person’s blood is on our hands. Is that what this passage is saying?

I actually happen to think there is a balance here–there is a time to be bold, and a time to be patient, but it all depends on the leading of the Holy Spirit. But the reason I think this passage is particularly helpful is that it woke me up to a disturbing trend in myself, and I wonder if others struggle with it too. I am, for all intents and purposes, a Calvinist, and I have always rested soundly in the knowledge that God is in control, and that He will save whomever He wants to save, that I don’t have to place that burden on my shoulders. But as a result of this doctrine, I have become lazy. I have let friends and family live their lives without me ever having shared the Gospel with them, because I was able to walk away thinking that even if I hadn’t shared the Gospel, they are in God’s hands so He’ll take care of them with or without me. This is actually a typical mentality of hyper-calvinists, and is one of the chief reasons why men like Charles Spurgeon have condemned hyper-calvinists in the last couple hundred years, so I was mildly mortified when i noticed it in myself. Yet that is perhaps the greatest danger in calvinism–it has the potential to take all the responsibility off of us.

The Ezekiel passage, however, reminds us that that kind of thinking is thoroughly unscriptural. While God is in control, and salvation lies in His hands and His grace alone, we are held responsible as well. There is an enigmatic balance between God’s will and our responsibility in Scripture…it’s tough to reconcile, but both elements are there. Yet aside from making sure our theology is firmly balanced, this passage is important for another reason. It reminds us that God did not give us a message for our own sake, but for the sake of the whole world. He blessed us so that we might be a blessing to others. To go through our day without mentioning Christ to those who are perishing, and all the while comforting ourselves with the fact that God is in control, is to use the Gospel in an unnatural way–using it selfishly. By not sharing the Gospel, we are not only robbing God of the glory that is rightfully His, but we are also putting the full burden of loving others in God’s hands. When we choose to not share the Good News and instead rely on God to do it, we actively choose not to love them. It is as though we are saying, “God loves them, so I don’t have to.” Sharing the Gospel is one of the ways, if not the greatest way, that we fulfill the command to love our neighbors, so when we opt not to share, we choose to disobey God.

Now this doesn’t mean we should go stand on street corners and preach hell fire and damanation, but we should probably be doing more than we are right now. If we truly believe that the Creator of the Universe became Man and sent His son to die for us, then this knowledge demands far more than a neutral response . You can either reject God’s existence and do nothing, or accept it and never be the same, but there is no middle ground. I think I have been inhabiting that middle ground for awhile now, so I pray that God will give me the courage and wisdom to be prudent but bold. If I say I love my neighbor, but don’t tell them the greatest news to ever hit the planet, then I am lying to myself. That is not love.

“But Abram said to the king of Sodom, “I have raised my hand to the LORD, God Most High, Creator of heaven and earth, and have taken an oath that I will accept nothing belonging to you, not even a thread or the thong of a sandal, so that you will never be able to say, ‘I made Abram rich.’” –Genesis 13:22-23

Most of us are pretty familiar with the story of the Rich, Young Ruler: A rich young man approaches Jesus and asks what he must do to inherit eternal life. In response to the man, Jesus tells him he must obey the Law. The young man replies that he has done so. Jesus then tells the man to sell all his belongings. But when the young man hears this, he becomes very sad because is a man of great wealth. So instead of forsaking his possessions, he merely walks away.

This story is really powerful given the radical and uncomfortable implications of its message, yet Christians have become amazingly adept at taking the teeth out of it. In spite of the sweeping changes that it calls us to, we somehow manage to interpret it in such a way that requires little to no change of us. We let ourselves off the hook by saying, “Jesus doesn’t *actually* want us to sell our possessions. Rather, he is merely asking us to store up treasures in heaven, instead of on earth. This story is actually about the state of the man’s heart, not what he possessed, so as long as our contentment rests in God and not our worldly possessions, then we don’t need to give them away.” And so nothing in our lives change–we can keep on driving our SUV’s, living in our nice houses and wearing our nice clothes–just as long as we still love God a whole lot.

Well I gotta be honest, I think that interpretation stinks. However, I bought into it hook, line and sinker until I read the above passage from Genesis. This passage blew me away. It comes from a less familiar story of Abraham in which Abraham has to rescue Lot when he and the other citizens of Sodom are taken captive by a foreign king. When Abraham succeeds in this endeavor, the King of Sodom is grateful, and tells Abraham that he would like for Abraham to return his people, but that he is welcome to keep all the possessions for himself. In response, Abraham declines the offer, saying he will not keep one thing because he does not want the King of Sodom to ever be able to make the claim, “I made Abram rich.”

What is striking to me about this story is Abraham’s desire to avoid even the *appearance* that his success or wealth came from anyone but God. He says nothing here of his own heart; never implies that he is avoiding the personal temptation of hording material possessions. No, his main concern is the *perception* that others might subsequently have of him. He never wants people to think that his happiness or his success originates from anyone or anything but God.

With that in mind, I think that this passage shatters our traditional interpretations of the story of the Rich, Young Ruler. No longer can we comfort ourselves with the knowledge that what we have is of no consequence as long as our hearts are right with God. On the contrary, we must also consider the appearance that we give off, because we might be indicating to the world that our happiness and security lies in what we have, not in who we serve. Thus having worldly possessions is not merely about us, but also those around us, and forsaking our possessions is not merely for our sake, but for the sake of all who know us to be Christians. The very credibility of our witness is at stake.

That being said, even if you think your heart isn’t wrongly holding on to your car, or your clothes, or your weight, or your make-up, the very *appearance* that those things matter to you, and that they are the source of your happiness in life, is enough to abandon them all. This is particularly difficult for girls, because that often means we must give up trying to be the cutest looking one at church or in class, because in doing so, we indicate to other girls that that’s what matters, that that’s what it means to be a Christian. When we spend a great deal of time on our hair and our face and our nails and our clothes, then we tell a lie–we tell the world that those things supply greater contentment than God.

Now I’m not telling you to start dressing in burlap and live in a box, but consider this–If anything I have mentioned here causes you the slightest bit of discomfort, and you find yourself readily making excuses as to why you don’t need to give it up, then your first problem is NOT appearance–your first problem is your heart.

The rationalizations in which you are engaging indicate that your heart is, in fact, too wrapped up in that object. THAT is why you don’t want to give it up, not because you have an alternate interpretation of Scripture. Whether God calls us to or not, we should always be ready to let go of anything we have, so if you find yourself resisting this message, then that should tell you something.

So although the main point of this lesson has been about appearance, I have ironically found myself most convicted about the status of my heart. We will rationalize our possessions all the day long, saying it’s perfectly fine for us to have them as long as our hearts are not attached to them, yet it is this very desire to justify our possessions that reveals the true state of our hearts.

We rationalize what we have because our hearts ARE holding onto our possessions. We wouldn’t feel the need to defend them so rigorously if our hearts were not so tightly wrapped around them. And realizing this truth made me realize that when we play that game of rationalizing the life we live, we are not reading Scripture faithfully–we are only interpreting it in such a way as to uphold the way of life we already have.

But not anymore. Between the story of Abraham in Genesis, and Jesus in Luke 18, there is no longer any justification for clinging to those possessions and practices which might undermine your witness. It is a hard lesson because it requires radical change, but if we are to affect the world around us, then we simply cannot look like the world. Your appearance must reflect your heart, so we must not comfort ourselves any longer with the lie that our hearts may change but our lives don’t have to, because in the words of James, that kind of faith is dead.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. –Romans 12:2

Recently I confronted a friend of mine who, I felt, was conforming her faith to the world. I thought that her friends had swayed her too greatly, that she was not no longer seeking holiness, but rather a lifestyle in which she could call herself a Christian, meanwhile living according to culture’s accepted standards. She agreed with me to some extent, but argued that her faith looks different to me because I live in the “Bible belt” where I am still sheltered. She, on the other hand, lives in a place where Christianity looks completely different. There was a nuance of resignation as she explained, “…but the more I get to know people, they’re just more concerned with their heart than they are their actions. Which doesn’t excuse them, it’s just that they totally think that messing up, screwing up, sinning, whatever you want to call it, is just part of life…” And so, my friend adapted to this line of thinking.

My first reaction to her response was sheer frustration. She had said her friends were more focused on their hearts than their actions, but Scripture tells us that our actions are an overflow of the heart. If your actions are falling short of God’s standard, they’re merely a reflection of the extent to which God has control over your heart.

And that is what I wanted to tell her—but I couldn’t. Every time I sat down to write her back, I couldn’t think of anything to say. I had many an eloquent thought concerning holiness, and grace, and passion, but every time I attempted to put it down, I looked inward and asked, “Does my life lend credibility to this argument?” The answer was of course “no.” I couldn’t tell her to shed her luke-warm Christianity and start living a life sold out for Christ, because I had not done so myself…

Ephesians tells us to avoid coarse joking, but I constantly employ sarcasm. The parable of the widow’s mite tells us to give sacrificially, but I still have enough money to drive an SUV and pay for the gas it wastes. Jesus tells us to forgive seventy times seven times, but how often I have held a grudge because I “deserved to be treated better.” And let’s not even get started on my road rage. The sins of greed, jealousy, pride, and gossip are all listed next to murder and God-haters, yet we only see the last two as being truly bad. The first four are much more acceptable by society’s standards. Yet is this what God desires of us?

Most of Paul’s letters were written to churches battling the prevailing moral standards of their time. The church of Corinth had been influenced by sexual immorality, the church in Ephesus was influenced by pagan religions, and the church of Galatia had been corrupted by false prophets. No church was immune to its culture’s practices, which is why Paul teaches the Romans, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Paul is teaching us to be set apart. We will have zero credibility in today’s moral debates if the rest of our lives look exactly like the world’s. We have turned into buffet style Christians, picking and choosing from Scripture that suits our already comfortable lives. Yet the Bible is not a self-help book; it is a God glorifying, Lord magnifying, Christ exalting, “me” minimizing, divine work of supernatural revelation. The way we pick and choose from the Bible merely reflects our true sentiments on its authority. Yes, it is about the heart, but a heart wildly on fire for the Lord cannot be hidden. It should stand out!

So where does your heart stand? Is God truly the Ruler of your life, or just parts of it? In a world where we are combating moral relativism, we cannot afford to be relativists ourselves. But more importantly, we will never win hearts to Christ if Christ has not conquered ours. Is your life proof of this faith you profess?

He who is full loathes honey, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet. –Proverbs 27:7

What an insightful picture of the fallen world before us! This simple verse describes the desperate state in which our lost brothers and sisters find themselves. We live in a world in which people are so lost and so alone, so hungry for truth, that they are grasping at straws, looking for anything that will satisfy their longings. They turn to money, success, sex and drugs, and to a spiritually starving person, these things all taste sweet…at first. But eventually they will be revealed to be the bitter and empty promises that they really are. They promise to fill, but they only leave one hungrier than they were before. God has placed an infinitely large hole in our hearts that can only be filled by an infinitely large God, so as long as we keep throwing finite objects into the hole, it will never be filled. And soon, we will find ourselves a slave to that endeavor. As we become more and more desperate for fullness, we grasp more and more frantically at bitter foods to quench our hunger. And the more that these bitter foods fail us, the more hopeless we become. What a wretched state for humanity!
But there is an alternative to this desperate state, and that is the prospect of being genuinely filled. God can fill that infinitely large hole in our hearts, and the frantic searching will end. In fact, those bitter foods that tempted us before will no longer look so appealing. What’s more, we won’t even be tempted to fill ourselves with the truly sweet things of this world, such a marriage and family. Although these things are good, they are nothing but honey when it comes to our spiritual nourishment. Honey is truly sweet, but it is no true sustenance. No one can live off of honey alone. So while we may partake of honey as a reflection of the sweetness of God, we cannot mistake it for our true sustenance—the bread of heaven. Those of us who live in Christ should loathe honey when it is substituted for our true, spiritual nourishment. We can see it for the empty nourishment that it is.
One who rests in Christ needs neither the bitter nor the sweet things of this world. We can certainly enjoy the sweet things if we remember they are merely a reflection of God’s love for us, but we should never depend on them for life. When it comes to renewing our souls, both honey and brackish water are one in the same—bitter and empty. That is what it means to be full in Christ—we want for nothing more than that which He provides. It is more than enough.

Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. –Psalm 91: 14-15

Whenever I read verses about God’s faithfulness to those who cling to Him, I always find myself feeling completely reassured. Since I “prayed the prayer” and committed my life to Christ way back when, I rest in the knowledge that all the promises contained in Scripture apply to me. He will deliver and protect me because I know His name, and he will rescue me in times of trouble, because I love Him. That’s a pretty nice set-up.

Unfortunately, I’m not sure it’s quite that clean cut. Yes, our salvation is guaranteed to us, so we can always trust that, ultimately, because we have made the decision to follow Christ, God will deliver us. But, salvation is more than that. It’s more than simply resting in the knowledge that God will one day save us. There is another aspect to salvation aside from the future aspect. There is also the present aspect, how our salvation is relevant today.

Philippians 2:12 tells us that we are to “work out our salvation with fear and trembling.” This does not mean that we have to earn our salvation, but it does mean that salvation is not merely a decision we made when we were ten. It’s also a decision we make every day. Every day when we wake up, we must once again make the decision to die to ourselves, and to follow Christ. Why? Because salvation is not merely about getting into heaven—it is also about being conformed to Christ, and that is a transformation that begins right now. We must always be actively seeking conformity to Christ. Working out your salvation means turning it into a visible reality through your life. Integrating your salvation into your being so thoroughly that it becomes your daily reality. Your salvation should define every breathe you take, every move you make.

So what does that mean when we read these passages that tell us God will deliver us since we have chosen Him? Well, we can read it on two different levels. We can read it as a reality that has already taken place, and will be fulfilled on Judgment Day when we face God and He declares us free, But we must also read it on the immediate level. Just because we are Christians does not mean life will always be easy, and that tragedies and betrayals will no longer hurt. Instead, it means we must continually run to Him when they do. God promises to comfort those who call on Him, but if we run to others, to material things, or to success when times are hard, then we aren’t living out the reality of our salvation, and we can’t expect God to comfort us.

Examine your daily life, and the circumstances that plague you, even the little things. When someone hurts you, do you run to a friend and slander the person to make yourself feel better? When you feel insecure, do you run to attention from guys to make comfort your self-esteem? If so, then when you read verses like Psalm 91:14-15, don’t be mystified when you don’t feel comforted by God in those difficult times. He’s not comforting you because you’re not calling on Him.

It’s not enough to make a decision one time, and go on with your life. Salvation is a lifestyle that requires every moment of our attention and energy. We must constantly be turning to the Lord in times of trouble, and even when times are good. Only then can we read these passages of encouragement, and rest in the knowledge that God blesses those who call on Him. And by that, He doesn’t mean once at an altar call—He wants every moment of every day.

Incline your ear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. –Psalm 86:1

The Psalms are one of the greatest resources that Christians have when it comes to grief, discouragement, and despair. Whenever I’m feeling alone, or betrayed or hopeless, I turn to the Psalms, because there is always one that expresses the very agony I am feeling. Clearly they are the Word of God, because they truly express the groanings of my heart that I can never quite articulate.

However, it is not often that I turn to the Psalms of lament when I am doing well, and when life is good. This fact dawned on me one morning as I began to read Psalm 86. It starts out sounding much like man of the other Psalms of lament—alone and in desperate need of comfort. But this time, the words did not resound quite so clearly with my heart, so I was tempted to flip to another Psalm, one of rejoicing. I thought I should save Psalm 86 for another day when I did feel low. Not today, though.

But right before I flipped the page to find a different Psalm that reflected my blessed state in life, it struck me: the words of the first verse are no more or less true given my feelings. Whether I feel it or not, I am in a constant state of need. It just so happens that when I’m hurting due to the circumstances of my life, I feel that state of need more acutely, but the need never changes. We always need God, we are always helpless without Him. We must always cast ourselves upon His mercy if we at all desire to have true life.

But even more interesting to me is the danger in my initial attitude. The fact that I don’t turn to the Psalms of lament when I am doing well indicates how little I understand my state of need. I live under the illusion that there are times when I am fine on my own. God has become my back-up plan for when things get really bad. We tend to think that only nominal Christians do this sort of thing—turning to God on their death-bed or in times of crisis—but for all intents and purposes, many of us function in the same way. We need only look at our actions when life is good. When things are going our way, do we still come to God with the same desperation that we do in the hard times? I certainly don’t. I’ve bought into the lie that most nominal Christians have bought into—my life is my own, so I don’t need to worry about God except in extreme circumstances.

So before we judge the submarine Christians who only emerge for Easter and Christmas, we need to look at our own lives and seriously ask whether or not we are living the committing the same hypocrisy. We comfort ourselves in the knowledge that we’re not as bad as they are, but in comparison with the holy perfection of God, we suddenly look a lot more similar to the sinners than we do to Him. For this reason, I encourage you to commit Psalm 86:1 to memory. As these words of truth slowly begin to shape your mind and heart, perhaps we will then have a chance at living like we really mean it. Then, and only then, will we look more like disciples than instead of looking like the world.