Theology for Women

Every Christmas season Hollywood finds a new way to butcher the meaning of Christmas, and this year is no exception. My most current commercial nemesis is brought to us this year by the people at Macy’s. You may have seen it already, but for those of you who haven’t, it goes like this….. 

Did you catch that at the end? Did you notice when Martha Stewart said “it” instead of “he?” I watched it several times just to make sure that’s really what she’s saying, and it is. That’s right, Santa got neutered.

Now I have to admit that I sympathize with what the commercial is saying–what parent hasn’t broken the news to their kids that Santa doesn’t exist by coming up with some story about how Santa is more of a “spirit” or an “idea” that characterizes Christmas. Most people, Christians included, would confess that Santa is real in that sense.

(And for the record, that’s exactly what my parents told me when I learned the painful reality that Santa isn’t real, but it didn’t make me feel better one stinkin’ bit. All I remember is thinking that my parents had been lying to me my whole life. That’s a cautionary tale for you parents out there.)

But I think what bothers me about this commercial is that the person they describe in this commercial isn’t Santa, it’s Christ. Just notice the language they use–Santa is equated with love and generosity, he is the reason for childlike faith, and he lives eternally. That’s Jesus they’re talking about, not some made up fat dude in a red suit.

And that’s what bothers me about this commercial’s attempt at sentimentality. The use of the word “it” is the final nail in the coffin of Christmas time theology. We are completely divorcing all language about Christmas from its actual meaning. Hollywood desires this to be a season of “hope” and “joy” but without any sort of foundation upon which to base those sentiments.

Hope in what? Joy in what? We are a country plagued by war and immorality. Our economy is faltering and people are losing their jobs. From where are we supposed to conjure up this hope and joy? It can’t just appear out of nowhere, and it certainly isn’t going to come from Macy’s. 

That is why it’s imperative that we as Christians hold on to the meaning of Christmas. And not just “in your hearts”–that’s not enough. You need to fight for it in tangible ways. Invite your neighbors and co-workers to church with you on Christmas Eve so that they can hear the Gospel. Ask your non-Christian friends what they think about the Christmas season, or what they teach their kids about it. Think of creative ways to engage people in conversation, because it’s in our faces every day.

And that in-your-face dynamic of Christmas commercialism is the key reason why we need to fight. The predominate teachings about Christmas are coming from Hollywood commercials instead of people who actually know Christ. That’s why we need to speak up and step up. Don’t just get swept up in the Christmas time craziness and let this opportunity pass you by. Use your sphere of influence to fight against the superficial messages about Christmas so that we can reclaim its true meaning, and celebrate the source of our gifts, rather than the gifts themselves. 

My pastor and I have an on-going debate about whether or not the media is lopsidedly liberal. I am convinced that he’s overly paranoid, and he’s convinced that I’m hopelessly naive. This debate will probably never end.

However, I had to concede a point to him this week when I came home to my copy of Newsweek. What I found inside was so absurd that I almost laughed.

On the front cover of the magazine was an article entitled “The Religious Case for Marriage.” Below it was a picture of the Bible with a rainbow bookmark sticking out the bottom. Intrigued, I opened up the publication and began to read.

What I found was some of the sloppiest Scriptural interpretation that I have ever read. It was so off-base and and biased that I’m surprised Newsweek would even publish it as responsible journalism.

If you care to read it yourself, click here.

Now as much as I disagree with the author’s underlying agenda, it is her method that bothers me the most. I have never witnessed such a blatant twisting of Scripture to fit one’s own agenda. Her arguments are so academically hollow that a first semester seminary student with only an introductory level of Greek could easily level her claims.

And that’s not to mention her own self-defeating arguments. She argues that Scripture cannot be trusted for a reliable account of marriage, but then appeals to Scriptural teachings about love to support the practice of gay marriage. So which one is it? Is Scripture a reliable authority, or is it not?

Ok, so I’m clearly really frustrated by this article, but that is not my reason for writing now. As much as I’m really annoyed by the fact that this article does not represent responsible journalism (and I’ll admit it, I am optimistic about the media–I do believe some people in the media are still trying to report the truth, and this was NOT an example of it), I have another motive for posting this blog.

I suspect that this article was more an attempt to generate sales through sensationalism than a sincere stab at serious reporting, but this article nevertheless impresses upon Christians an urgency to know why we believe what we believe. It is not enough to hear an argument like the one in Newsweek and emotionally respond, “That’s not what the Bible says!” You need to know how and why that’s not what the Bible says. You must be able to defend your point. This means studying historical, cultural, linguistic and Scriptural contexts so that you can defend Scripture when someone uses it irresponsibly.

I know that sounds hyper-academic and you’re probably thinking that’s an unrealistic expectation to have for the non-seminary and pastor types, but it’s really not as hard as it sounds. It means that you read Scripture with intention.

Don’t simply read the Bible for daily encouragement, read it to know what it actually says. When you come across a culturally charged term like “homosexual” or “submission,” stop and look at the larger passage. Figure out how it fits into the chapter, the book, and the Bible on the whole. If you have a study Bible, read the footnotes. Try to discern why Scripture warns against certain practices and encourages others, rather than just accepting it as fact. Read Scriptural commands with the same amount of scrutiny that you’d expect from your non-Christian friends.

When you arm yourself with knowledge, you prevent yourself from becoming culturally irrelevant. You keep from forfeiting your right to participate in the discussion. And as women, that is a practice we have long over-looked and under-valued, but we cannot afford to do so any longer. After all, this article was written by a woman.

However, I cannot close without a reminder about presenting your case in love. Not only will it help people to receive your perspective, but it will set you apart–this article came just short of name-calling. She compared religious conservatives to slave owners. We should not sink to that level.

But even more importantly, we must present our perspectives in love because logic often misses the point. More often than not, these arguments are not founded on purely philosophical or logical grounds. They are instead an issue of the heart, something that individuals care deeply about. And therein lies our primary target–people’s hearts. If we are master apologists but terrible at loving people, we will accomplish little. It is the heart, not the mind, that needs changing.

That said, be sure to arm yourself with knowledge, but also arm yourself with love. Combined, we will be able to stand for truth, but we will do it in a language that the world can actually understand.

If you ever wander into the women’s section of a Christian bookstore, you are sure to find one thing–self-help books.

They may carry spiritual titles and use Scriptural language, but at their core they’re about one thing–helping you. Maybe you don’t like your marriage, or you have a bad relationship with your dad, or someone hurt you in the past and you can’t get over it–whatever the problem, you’re sure to find a book designed just to help you.

Now this isn’t all bad, because wholeness and healing are two very important aspects of the Christian life. Christ healed people, and God tells us to come to Him with our cares and anxieties. That’s Biblical.

However, there is a big difference between the Bible and self-help books. To explain this point, just look at one of the most insecure individuals in the Bible: Saul, the King of Isreal.

Now I don’t know about you, but when I think of Saul I imagine a guy kind of like Biff on Back to the Future. He was arrogant and power-crazed, willing to do anything to protect his position and authority. He was David’s arch-nemesis, the reason behind many of the psalms of lament. So as far as I was concerned, he got what he deserved in the end.

But if you actually read the story, you’ll get a very different picture of Saul. He’s not a man obsessed with power (at least not at first) but instead a man who is painfully insecure. Just check out this exchange between Saul and Samuel:

And Samuel said, “Though you are little in your own eyes, are you not the head of the tribes of Israel? The LORD anointed you king over Israel. And the LORD sent you on a mission…Why then did you not obey the voice of the LORD? (15: 17-19)

Little in his own eyes? That’s not the Saul I imagined. But we get an even clearer taste of Saul’s struggle when he later replies…

“I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the LORD and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice. (15:24)

That’s right, Saul was wrestling with the exact same struggle as every American, 8th grade girl: insecurity. Maybe he didn’t think he was equipped enough to lead, or that people wouldn’t take him seriously. But whatever his fears, they had a profound enough effect to shape his actions in fundamental ways.

And at this point, the Bible might seem to have a lot in common with the books you find in Christian bookstores. They both grapple with the pain and consequences of a wounded ego.

But you have to read the rest of the story…

Saul immediately apologizes to Samuel and asks God for forgiveness. So what does Samuel do? Does he give Saul a big hug and tell him everything’s going to be ok? Does he tell Saul that God made him to be special and has wonderful plans for his life? Does he give him a pep talk about taking hold of his best life now?

No. Quite the opposite actually:

“Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and presumption is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has also rejected you from being king.”(15: 22-23)

No hugging. No coddling. No “You are special.”

This is where the Bible and self-help books depart ways. The two have very different goals in mind. Whereas self-help books are aimed at the self, healing the self, restoring the self, feeling better about the self, Scripture tells us to forget yourself and focus on God.

And that was Saul’s problem–he was too focused on himself. Maybe not in an obvious, power-hungry kind of way, but he was self-focused nonetheless. And that’s why Samuel didn’t treat Saul as a wounded puppy who needed to lick his wounds–he instead called his insecurities by name: idolatry.

At its heart, that’s what insecurity is–it is a preoccupation with the self, putting the self so central that it supplants the rightful place of God. And that’s exactly why Saul disobeyed God–he cared more about the opinions of others than he cared about God.

That is why the solution to insecurity is not more self-help books–the solution is a more robust theology. We need a system of beliefs that pries our focus off of ourselves and places our sights back on Christ. Therein lies true freedom–we will no longer be in bondage to our own shortcomings and fears because we’ll be so blissfully distracted from them by God.

And that is the irony of it all–to focus on yourself will keep you in bondage to the self. To focus on God will set you free from yourself.

So the next time you’re tempted to check out one of those self-help books, spend some time thumbing through the chapters to discern the book’s true goal. That is where you will find the distinction between Scriptural teaching, and idolatry veiled as spiritual pop-psychology.

Christian reality t.v. is here.

(I know you’re breathing a huge sigh of relief. Finally!)

I discovered this last night when Dateline did a story about it. And I don’t really know why I was surprised. Christian music and media has consistently lagged behind mainstream culture by about 10 to 20 years, so I should have been expecting this. It was about time.

This new trend has come about in response to the trash that we find on most reality shows today. The folks at the Gospel Music Channel decided to provide a better, more edifying alternative, and they now air two shows aimed at that end. One is called “The Uprising” and it’s about a handful of Christian skateboarders who use their influence for the Gospel. The second show is entitled “Revolve: Rockin the Road,” and it follows a touring event for teen girls that features speakers and Christian artists .

(Fun fact: one of the main characters of the second show is Jenna Lucado, daughter of Max Lucado)

To give you a taste of what this new genre is like, here’s a preview for the season finale of Revolve:

Now contrary to what you might expect, I’m not gonna be a hater. Yes, it frustrates me that Christian culture is always behind the mainstream by such a tremendous extent, but that doesn’t mean we should abandon these mediums. They can still be valuable tools for evangelism. In particular, the skateboarders have a platform that not all Christians can access. I want to affirm that.

However, the Dateline feature indirectly highlighted an important point about this trend–it’s just another example of Christians mimicking cultural innovations, and at a horribly delayed timing. We take popular cultural phenomena, and we Christianize them. Which ironically seems to make them worse.

Now there’s nothing inherently wrong with Christianizing music, art, or even television. However this does remind us of one unsettling reality: Christians are consistently downstream of culture.

We should be uncomfortable with this fact, because downstream is not our place. We shouldn’t be following the culture’s lead–the culture should be following ours.

As one professor at Fuller Seminary explained, “We should not be imitating the culture, but leading it. If we’re connected with the Creator God of the Universe, then we should be the MOST innovative and the MOST creative individuals in our culture.” We should be harnessing God’s infinite creativity in a way that causes people to stop, take notice, and be inspired.

But this doesn’t happen, does it? In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

Rather than earn respect, Christians have earned mockery, not because we’re taking a stand for the Gospel, but because we offer a sub-par Christian version of everything the culture dreamed up long before. Our engagement of the culture might be great for Christians, but not at all compelling for non-Christians.

But why is that? Two mains reasons:

1. Christians don’t see their jobs and their talents as a calling. A lot of Christians believe that if you’re not a minister, then you don’t have the same kind of divine call on your life. This is a lie. If you’re an investment banker, an interior designer, a publicist, or a secretary, you all have the same call on your life–work for the glory of God.

And this doesn’t simply mean that you should be an ethical person who works hard and sets a good example. It also means that you need to dream up new ways to glorify God with your talents. Take your job to the next level and call on God for the kind of imaginative ideas that would set you apart in your field, for His glory.

2. Christians don’t think. This statement is not universal, but in all belief systems there is a temptation to simply do what you’re told. That is the nature of religion. You listen to what your minister, rabbi, or imam tells you so that you can be a good little religious person.

But such blind obedience does not stimulate creativity. It stifles it. We should not expect to contribute great thinking and ideas to our world if we never ask questions or challenge ourselves in the most important area of our lives. That kind of “bigger picture” mentality begins with your faith, but it should carry over into your work as a result. Don’t just do what your boss tells you–do more, and dream more. This too glorifies God.

Let’s be the trend-setters. Let’s resolve to position ourselves upstream instead of down. Our credibility in this culture is at stake. But don’t hear me as saying that we should judge ourselves according to the world’s wisdom instead of God’s. I’m saying just the opposite. Our problem is that we’re doing the exact same thing as the culture, only worse.

The solution is not to keep up with the culture, but to create categories of innovation that the culture has not even dreamed up yet.

If we ever hope to offer anything more than a Christianized regurgitation of cultural trends and ideas, then we need to rise up in our individual realms of influence and start taking the lead. That begins with you.

Many women have said to me, “Greg, men run the world.” Wow. That makes us sound pretty capable. So tell me, why would you think we could be incapable of something as simple as picking up the phone and asking you out? You seem to think at times that we’re “too shy” or we “just got out of something.” Let me remind you: Men find it satisfying to get what they want. (Particularly after a difficult day of running the world.) If we want you, we will find you.

This advice serves as the opener to a popular book entitled He’s Just Not That Into You: The No Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys. Written by Greg Behrendt, this book has become a national best-seller and the inspiration for a romantic comedy set to debut in 2009.

Its popularity is due in large part to its no nonsense approach to dating. In a world where women make excuses for the men who don’t pursue them, Behrendt saves them the time and energy of wondering. According to Behrendt, if a guy is interested he’ll make it clear–women just don’t want to accept this fact. That’s why his chapter titles possess seemingly obvious but necessary wisdom as:

He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Asking You Out

He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Calling You

He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Not Dating You

He’s Just Not That Into You If He Doesn’t Want to Marry You

…and my personal favorite…

He’s Just Not That Into You If He’s Breaking Up With You

This book has a bit of valuable truth to it. For the most part, guys are more straight-forward than women make them out to be. Women spend countless hours constructing dizzying logic about why a man didn’t call or why he doesn’t want to date her. But the truth is, when that same guy sees a women he really digs, then he’ll go for her. Even if he’s nervous or shy. Most of the time, a man’s actions are clear.

However, that is not the point of this blog.

The reason I mention this crazy dynamic between men and women is that it’s a perfect illustration of our attempt to discern God’s will. Scroll back up and read the opening paragraph again, but this time substitute the word “God” for men, and substitute “revealing His will” for asking you out. It’s essentially the same dynamic.

Just think about it–in the same way that we concoct crazy interpretations of a guy’s actions, even when they’re actually pretty clear, we create countless interpretations about God’s supposed will for our lives. But let’s be honest–both sets of interpretations are more likely a reflection of what we want to hear than a realistic assessment of the situation. And as a result, we make the process a lot harder than it needs to be.

In the same way that we agonize over understanding men, we see God’s will as a puzzle that we have to decode, a maze to find our way through. And that’s why we view the search for God’s will as a tight rope walk–if we make just the wrong step, we’ll fall off the path altogether and our lives will be ruined.

In reality, both men and God are not all that difficult to understand. If a guy doesn’t call you, it’s because he’s really not that into you. If God doesn’t give you a clear direction forward, He probably just wants you to chill out where you are. It’s not rocket science.

The real source of our confusion is often an unwillingness to accept the answer that we’re given.

Now I have to admit that my analogy does break down a bit. Sometimes men can be confusing (heck, they’re probably confused themselves a lot of the time!), but such a trait is not part of God’s character. God created the universe and reigns over it every day. He is sovereign, which means He not only desires that we fulfill His purposes, but He is more than capable of guiding us to that end.

That said, God is not going to sit in Heaven nervously biting His finger nails, hoping we follow His will for our lives. He wants us to know it, so if we ask Him, we are guaranteed to receive an answer.

But just like the dating game, it’s not always the answer we want. When God wants you to know the next step, He will make His will clear–the question is whether or not we’re willing to accept it. In the same way that we make excuses in the face of dating rejection, we do the same when God gives us an answer we don’t like.

Sometimes the answer is “wait,” other times the answer is a flat-out “no,” or sometimes the answer may be slightly different than what you were expecting. But whatever God’s will is, He’s not deliberately hiding it from you. On the contrary, He has a vested interest in making sure you know it.

As I said, the analogy isn’t perfect because men will sometimes lie to spare a woman’s feelings or avoid feeling guilty. And occasionally a guy really is too shy to ask a girl out. But with God, you can count on Him to lead you because unlike the men that Greg Behrendt’s described, God is always into you.

In the past I’ve talked a lot about the ways in which the media has objectified women and given us an unrealistic standard for which we should strive. We see this subliminal messaging in the form of emaciated models and self-destructive actresses, so while it is prevalent, it’s also easy to pinpoint.

However, not all of the media’s subliminal messages are that easy to spot. In addition to promoting the sexual anorexic look, the media sends harmful messages in a range of forms, some that you may not expect or even notice.

Rather than drive this point home with a long blog that you’re probably too stuffed with turkey to read, I will today defer to a video series entitled “Target Women.” Ladyblog summarized these videos as follows:

Via the December/January issue of Bust (actual article not online):

Do the women populating commercials nowadays—those personality-free mombots who talk about Hamburger Helper as if it were a cure for cancer—seem a little off to you? Sarah Haskins feels your pain.

But instead of motrin-momming it up, Haskins writes and stars in Daily-Show-style segments called ‘Target: Women” (on Current TV’s Infomania) that amusingly mock women’s advertising.

Haskins hones in on the messages that women are receiving, and her style of satire highlights the ways in which such advertising affects us.

What follows is “Target: Women–Yogurt Edition.” I know that sounds lame, but I seriously fell off my chair laughing, and it shows just how subtle advertising can be in its attempt to seduce female consumers:

For more great videos, check out Haskin’s video about birth control commercials, which examines the industry’s tendency to talk more about regulating your period than preventing the birth of children. I’ve never noticed that before, but I would bet there are some very intentional reasons behind it.Also check out her video on chick flicks. It highlights the degree to which romantic comedies deceive women with unrealistic expectations for dating and romance.

For more videos, you can check Haskins out on youtube. She is not a Christian so I apologize for the occasional crass comment, but her work is valuable. We must never blindly consume that which the media is feeding us. Be critical. Ask questions.

That’s what it means to be a faithful woman of God, even if you do like yogurt.

When I was in Southeast Asia this summer, I had a very unusual experience–I went to see the movie Sex and the City with some Muslim girls from Sudan. It was seriously disorienting as we walked into a movie all about sex, accompanied by girls wearing conservative head coverings. Granted, the country censored all the nudity, sex scenes and kissing out of the film, but it was still pretty racy. I never would have guessed that these girls would be interested in seeing such a movie.

But what was even more surprising is that we all enjoyed it, including myself! Since all the sex had been edited out, I was able to focus more on the plot line which, at its core, is about the unshakable bond between friends.

That story line, about 4 friends who stick together through thick and thin, is a story line that transcends age and culture. That’s why so many women all over the world have identified with the show and its characters. Each woman in the group is different, but each fits in perfectly as she offers her own unique dynamic to the group. And each woman is fully loved by her other friends, in spite of their differences.

In Sex and the City, we see a vision of friendship that allows us to be who we are, and still be loved unconditionally. We also see a vision of friendship that perseveres through adversity, as well as rejoicing in the good times. It is a kind of friendship that most women desire because it provides us with an emotional refuge, and it allows us to be free in who we are. As a result, women watch the show and aspire to have the same kinds of relationships.

There is a similar phenomenon with the show Entourage. Here again, we see a group of guys who live the kind of life most guys only dream about. But what’s even better is that they live this dream life together. Unlike many people, they have not attained success only to find themselves alone at the top. Instead, they remain a solid core through the adventures of life. And like Sex and the City, each guy is different, offering his own unique personality to make the group what it is. Again, each man is free to be himself, and still be accepted.

As a result of shows like these, I’ve noticed men and women will subconsciously (or consciously) imitate the lifestyles of the characters. They mimic their language, their dress, their behaviors, and the way they relate to members of the opposite sex. They are trying to live out the friendships that they’ve seen on t.v. because they look so desirable.

And this is where our sweet tale of friendship goes horribly awry. While both shows display a quality of friendship that we rarely experience today, that tiny bit of truth has blinded countless viewers to an underlying perversion.

The problem with the “friendship” offered us in these shows is that it is ultimately self-destructive. It is a kind of friendship that has no real moral compass because it isn’t founded on anything that is morally tangible. It may appeal to some vague sense of love and commitment or shared experiences, but those elements don’t guard a friendships from selfishness, or guide friendships in the way of integrity.

And that is why the moral values of these shows are so shaky. Throughout the course of the series, the Sex and the City women simply laughed about one another’s crazy antics as several of them had affairs with married men, had affairs themselves, and engaged in other behaviors that would lead to unspeakable pain and heartache in the real world. There was no higher standard by which to measure their actions. The group itself sets the standard.

In the same way, the men in Entourage essentially cheer one another on as they objectify women and treat them like throw away kleenex. It’s all about sexual conquest after sexual conquest. The friends are not cultivating any kind of character in one another. They are instead reinforcing behaviors and mindsets that cultivate selfishness and short-circuit one’s ability to love and commit in a self-sacrificing way.

That is the deceptiveness of shows like these. They offer us a vision of something we desire, and there might even be some truth to it. But ultimately, these friendships are fatally flawed for one reason, and one reason alone: they are not founded on Christ.

Any friendship that is not founded on Christ can wander astray into one of two categories, both of which are demonstrated for us through Sex and the City and Entourage:

1. Friendship founded on idolatry–This is a friendship that is grounded in a mutual interest or shared history, anything other than Christ. It could be anything from the innocent interests of shopping, running, or knitting, or it could even be founded on gossip, partying, or promiscuity. While some of those mutual interests can add depth to a friendship, they cannot replace the importance of placing Christ at the center of your Christian friendships. When Christ is removed, our friendships no longer have an immovable anchor, but are instead founded upon a shakeable moral ground which is largely determined by the subjective opinion of the group.

2. Friendship founded on exclusivity–This model of friendship is not based on who you are, but instead on who you’re not. It tends to take an attitude of “us against the world.” Specifically, women can stereotype and tear down their male counterparts–”we women need to stick together against the men.” Similarly, men can objectify women, seeing them not as equals but as prizes to be competed for. They are not given the same respect and care as members within the group. These friendships also cultivate a false sense of intimacy–you may feel close to the members of the group, but there is nothing substantive that’s really connecting you together. And that spirit of opposition can easily be used to exclude you one day.

HBO is selling a model of friendship that offers us a kernel of truth, and that truth is refreshing in a world where good friendships are hard to find. But we must not allow that grain of truth to blind us to the lies hidden within. True, edifying, Christian friendship should be centered on Christ alone–any other model only feeds our destructive tendencies. Remember that the next time you watch these shows, as well as something as benign as Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Ask what these shows are selling, and whether or not you’ve bought the lie. When you look at the friendships in your life, what model do you see?

The other day I saw a t.v. show interviewing women over the age of 30 who’d decided to have plastic surgery. Specifically, they’d all had breast implants.

Now this was a bit surprising to me. When I think of breast implants, I think of women in their twenties who are perhaps hoping it will boost their specific careers.

But that simply isn’t the case anymore. An article in USA Today reported that from 2000 to 2005 the number of women getting breast implants increased 37%, and as the article described, “The typical person getting breast implants today is not the stripper, the model…It’s the girl down the street.”

What’s more, she’s not so much a “girl” either. She’s a woman–a wife and a soccer mom, most likely with a bachelors degree. A survey done in 2003 found that the average age of women receiving breast augmentation was 34.

About a month ago I wrote about the growing trend of anorexia in women over the age of 30, so given those statistics the rise in breast implants should be no surprise. The only difference is that there’s a stigma attached to one, and not to the other. Anorexia is frowned upon by the general population, but breast implants are becoming more and more accepted.

That brings us back to the show I was watching the other day. As the women being interviewed discussed their decisions, their reasons tended to be more personal than professional. They’d always wanted bigger breasts, or they simply wanted a makeover.

But one woman raised a dissenting voice. She argued that women only have this surgery if they are suffering from low self-esteem or have a poor body image. By having breast implants, they are attempting to prop up their self-esteem in an artificial way.

“Finally!” I thought. A voice of reason in a backwards world!

But she was quickly dismissed. One of the other women immediately replied that her self-esteem was just fine and that she’d always had tremendous confidence. Her reason for having the surgery? “I’m doing it for me.”

As soon as the words came out of her mouth, I wanted to start shaking my t.v. set. I wanted to sit that women down and ask her, “What do you mean you’re doing it for you? Where do you think the desire to have bigger boobs came from? It’s not like you cooked it up in your own brain independent of the culture you live in! You’re doing it because society has fed you the lie that women with larger breasts are more beautiful and desirable. The idea that you’re doing it for you is all an illusion!”

Unfortunately, I am not able to sit down with that women and tell her those things….which probably wouldn’t have gone over too well anyway. But I do have a blog, so I’m going to state it here:

Be careful when you hear yourself utter the words, “I’m doing it for me.” Yes, there are times when this motivation is warranted–if, for instance, you are extremely overweight and you need to do a better job of being healthy. Take the necessary steps to make that happen.

But don’t use these words to mask the real problem. It is most likely that you have been so profoundly influenced by society that you don’t even know what’s you, and what’s the culture.

The key to determining the difference can be found in Scripture. Are you making changes that are consistent with the Scriptural depiction of the human being? If you are trying to be healthy, then yes! Our bodies are the temple of God, so we should be good stewards of them.

But if you are attempting to make drastic, superficial changes to the body God has given you, whether it be through surgery, extreme dieting, or over-exercising, then you will find yourself in conflict with the truths of Scripture. The Bible tells us that we are made in God’s image, and that God knit us together in our mother’s womb. This implies an intimate, intentional purpose in every single part of your body and personality, so any attempt to alter that creation runs the risk of insulting God. It questions His judgment in making you the way that you are.

(And please don’t interpret this to mean that I am promoting some sort of Christian Science position in which doctors should not help people born with birth defects. Scripture shows us examples of healing in the lives of individuals whose day-to-day functioning was impaired from birth. Such surgery is certainly permissible, but it’s in an altogether different category from the kind of changes I have described above.)

In closing, I want to remind each one of you out there that you have been fearfully and wonderfully made. Any message that indicates otherwise does not come from God, so be on your guard against the lies of our culture. We have becomes so inundated by them that we have now begun to deceive ourselves, rather than being speakers of truth.

Ultimately, the best way to determine whether you’re doing what’s best for you, or if you’re simply in bondage to the opinion of others, can be found in the following question: Are you doing it for God? Sometimes the desires we have for ourselves can be deeply misguided, so we should never use our own, personal fulfillment as a barometer of right and wrong. Ultimately it’s about God and what brings the most glory to Him. Anything else is idolatry.

*To read the whole USA Today article, you can check it out here.

Let me begin by saying that I recognize the irony and potential for hypocrisy in what I am about to write. Nevertheless, I think this needs to be said, so hopefully I won’t disprove my own point. Here goes…

Yesterday I was listening to one of Mark Driscoll’s sermons, and in the course of preaching he made a hyperbolic statement for the sake of demonstrating a point. He immediately followed up the statement by adding, “That was a joke! I didn’t really mean that, so all you bloggers can go ahead and shut your laptops now.”

What struck me about his disclaimer is that it’s not the first one I’ve heard lately. Frequently my own pastor will try to stave off the mean e-mails and angry blogs that might ensue a controversial point by anticipating their possible misinterpretations. I’ve heard other pastors and podcasters do the same.

Clearly, they’ve all learned to beware the wrath of the blogosphere.

It is here that I must question whether such a trend is godly. When our pastors are constantly worried that their words might be lifted from their context, twisted, and publicly berated by other Christians (not even non-Christians!) then I think we’ve come to a place that is fundamentally opposed to the spirit of the Gospel.

This point hit me as I read over Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 4. Paul was facing a similar climate of criticism from the Corinthian church. Even though they had Paul to thank for their very existence, they didn’t hesitate to bite the hand that fed them. As a result, Paul had to defend his credibility before his own church, in much the same way that pastors are forced to defend themselves today.

But what exactly is going on here? Why are Christians back-biting one another, and why have blogs facilitated this all the more?

The reason for this trend is twofold, the first being our own prideful hearts. Paul makes this point when he establishes a distinction between types of judgment. Some judgment is warranted, but some stems only from our own selfish motives. In chapter 5, for example, a man was sleeping with his father’s wife, so Paul called the Christians to exercise judgment. In this case, such judgment was permissible due to the man’s blatant disobedience of Scripture.

Paul, on the other hand, was fulfilling his God-given call to preach the Gospel. Even so, he received criticism and judgment from his brothers and sisters, and it is within this context that Paul forbids judgment. Why? Because they were trying to judge his heart. Judging a person’s actions are one thing, but it is difficult to know another person’s heart, so we must be VERY wary of making such a move.

So often we will criticize Christians, preachers, or churches who are out doing the Lord’s work, but not the exact way we think they should be doing it. As a result, we get up on our high horse and make assumptions about the state of their heart, nit-picking every single mistake and highlighting those mistakes for all to see. We forget Paul’s words, “Whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice.” (Phil. 4:18) We refuse to rejoice in the preaching of the Gospel, and instead undermine those who do.

Only very rarely is such criticism actually warranted, so speaking from my own sin and my own temptation to engage in this type of unholy judgment, I feel confident in asserting that it comes from prideful arrogance. We are doing little more than reverting back to the childish strategy of tearing others down so as to build ourselves up.

But the second reason blogs have become such a popular tool for harsh criticism is the anonymity of the form. We post a blog and then send it hurdling into cyberspace, never really witnessing its effects. We don’t really know who is reading it or how seriously they are believing our words. Because of this, we underestimate the power of our writing. In reality, we are engaging in the public slander of a fellow laborer in Christ.

And in case you don’t blog, don’t think you’re off the hook. Gossiping about someone you don’t know or slandering a pastor you’ll never meet does not justify your comments or somehow make them less sinful. Slander is slander no matter how you spin it. When it comes to matters of the heart we must “judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes.” (1 Cor. 4:5)

So in defense of the many preachers, pastors, writers and teachers who are out there leading, praying, and suffering for the sake of the Gospel, guard your tongue. Not only do they deserve more respect than we bloggers often give them, but God’s precious Bride, the Church, demands it.

Last weekend I attended a wedding in which the guitarist was text messaging during the service.

I think we have a problem.

The practice of text messaging has taken on a whole life of its own. It’s almost become a kind of sub-culture, and I am definitely guilty of buying into it. In fact, I can’t keep track of the number of times I have text messaged people at borderline inappropriate moments–in class, in church, while driving (I would strongly encourage you NOT to do this one, by the way), and the list goes on.

One of the main reasons I like texting is the efficiency of it. It’s much quicker to text someone a question than to call them and possibly get delayed by the niceties of proper conversation. There is no “how are you” “what have you been up to today?” “how’s your family?” “how’s your job?” etc. It’s just straight forward, to the point, I get what I want right away.

It’s also extremely impersonal.

Text messaging allows us to minimize the relational aspect of communication. We want what we want now, without having to give of ourselves to get it. We don’t want to waste time on the stuff that “doesn’t matter” and get straight to the meat of things.

Does it sound to you like something is amiss? Are we possibly overlooking something that God mght have written into the very nature of conversation–relationships??

But in addition to the fact that text messaging is corroding the relational aspect of our culture, it’s also feeding our need for instant gratification information. As soon as my cell phone buzzes, I HAVE to know who is texting me. I can’t wait to pick it up and read the message. And I have to text them back immediately, as if it is the most urgent message in the world. Which makes me wonder, why am I so obsessively tied to my cell phone? Why do I have to be at its beckon call every moment of the day?

But text messaging is really only symptomatic of a larger cultural phenomenon that we must really keep in check: we prefer to have relationship with machines instead of people.

Just think for a moment–how much time do you spend on the computer each day? How much time do you spend in front of the tv? And how much time do you spend text messaging?

Now compare that with how much quality time you spent with friends, family, and most importantly God. Do they even compare? And in case you think I’m exaggerating, have you ever been distracted from a conversation with someone because you were texting someone else, or because the person with whom you were speaking was also texting another person? Even when we are physically with other human beings, we’re still not actually WITH them because our attention is profoundly tied to our phones.

We live in a world that ranks efficiency over intimacy. We would rather get the job done than get to know the people we are working with. We would rather keep our attention constantly fed than to do the hard work of being patient and getting to know others better. And we would rather keep people at a safe distance–conversing with them through phones, IM, e-mail, even the self checkout line–than making ourselves vulnerable by letting them close.

So while this is not a call to stop text messaging altogether, it is a call to monitor the frequency of your actions, and think about what they indicate. Do your actions indicate to your friends that you’d rather be somewhere else, and that you’re not really present with them? Do your actions reinforce a kind of A.D.D. need for constant stimulation and information? Do your actions cause you to be rude, thoughtless or at times disrespectful to the Lord Himself because of your need to be doing a thousand things at once, without every doing any of them truly well?

What culture are you feeding into? What mindset are you cementing in yourself? Think about that the next time you’re tempted to text someone during that boring class you hate, or the worship service you attend. Text messaging is not, in itself, wrong, but keep in mind that God created us to live in community (hence the Church) so we must be cautious not to short-circuit such a vital support network. Text messaging may not seem like much, but as Solomon reminded us, it is the little foxes that ruin the vineyard.

(By the way, this post was NOT written in response to the two people who texted me during church this morning. You know who you are, but the timing is purely coincidental. )