On Tuesday night I spoke to a women’s group at church about one of my favorite passages for women: the Armor of God. Whenever I read Ephesians 6:10-20 I like to think of myself as a mighty woman warrior for God! (And not in the dogmatic, “attack people with proof-texted Bible verses” sense, but in the “fighting against the powers of darkness by sharing the love of Christ and setting the captives free” sense!)

Battle imagery is rarely used in relation to Christian women, so whenever I talk about the armor of God I preface the message with this: Before we can put on our armor, we have to climb down from the tower. The tower I’m referring to is the one that holds the helpless damsel captive. As the popular fairy tale goes, the damsel remains trapped while she awaits the rescue of her prince. She is fragile, she is weak, and she needs someone else to save her.

For all intents and purposes, this is what many popular books for Christian women communicate about our identities. We are wounded. We are victims. We are broken. Our lives are a mess. We need someone to rescue us. Cue Wild at Heart.

To be fair, there is an extent to which the above adjectives are true of everyone, both men and women. We all need someone to rescue us, and his name is Jesus. However, those descriptors are only true of our identities prior to salvation. As Christians, none of those categories defines us. We may feel broken and wounded and messy at times, but that is not who we are.

As Christians, who we are is in Christ. Romans 8:37 tells us that “we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Ephesians 1:3 tells us that God “has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.” All that is true of Christ’s identity is true of us.

And Christ was no victim. He was not defeated, and most importantly he is not still on the cross. He overcame, he won, and he rose again.

We have that same strength in us, not of ourselves but from him.

Even so, many Christian women still live in that tower. Their faith is a life support system. And a lot of Christian literature caters to that brand of Christian identity.

Now please don’t hear me saying that healing is unimportant. I cannot stress enough that it is. Books on healing certainly have an important ministry, and it is crucial that we take time to heal and recover from a blow. Grieve and cry and rest. But remember that that wound and that pain does not define you. That weakness is not who you are.

If you’ve been stuck in that proverbial tower and you’re ready to climb down, consider these words from John 8:31-32:

“If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

If truth is what sets us free, then what holds us captive is lies. Lies about who we are and lies about the God we worship all combine to paralyze us. These lies result in insecurity, woundedness, and an inability to FULLY trust God. Satan, after all, is the Father of Lies, so that’s exactly where he wants us.

But ladies, God does not think of us as damsels in a tower. The rescue has already taken place. We are now free, and God did not pluck us from our distress so that we could sit daintily on satin pillows and look pretty. He didn’t even rescue us so that we could get married and have babies and have a beautiful life. Husbands and babies aren’t bad, but there’s a bigger picture at work:

Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. (Eph. 6:10-12)

There is a cosmic battle waging, and you belong on the battlefield, not in a tower.

As you can probably tell, it’s been one of those weeks! Sorry I haven’t been on here since last week–life has been busy, but busy with good things.

This week I want to share an interesting tidbit from my academic research that may have implications for evangelical women. I say “may” because more research is needed, but it gives us some really interesting ideas to think about when it comes to empowering evangelical women and raising them up as thinkers and leaders.

In recent months I have studied a phenomenon called stereotype threat. This term refers to the pressure individuals feel in the classroom or workplace due to perceived stereotypes about themselves. For instance, women are sometimes stereotyped as being less capable at math, which can influence the way young girls perform in their math classes. If they believe they are worse at math, they are likely to perform worse regardless of natural ability.

Numerous studies have shown that the simple presence of a stereotype can inhibit academic performance, but it also creates an additional obstacle. If a student or employee anticipates being stereotyped, some will actively try to undermine the stereotype. For example, a businesswoman may fear being perceived as overly emotional by her male colleagues, so she intentionally minimizes her emotions and conducts herself stoically. Unfortunately, the cognitive energy she puts into combating the stereotype also inhibits her performance. Likewise, students who find themselves resisting a stereotype in a classroom setting are less able to learn and engage the subject matter.

It is remarkable and troubling that a stereotype can be so powerful. Fortunately, researchers have also looked into the best methods for breaking the power of stereotype threat, and they have discovered two primary options:

1. An authority figure publicly debunks the stereotype. In a study at Stanford, a group of men and women were administered a math test and their performances were recorded (Spencer and Steele, 1999). Then, the same math test was administered to a different group of men and women, but with one small change. This time, before the students began, the test administrator told the group that there was no previous gender discrepancy in performance on this test.  This simple statement debunking the stereotype about women and math made all the difference. The women in the second group tested better.

2. In-group role models. It is also helpful for victims of stereotype threat to see individuals from their own group (ie. women or minorities) functioning competently outside the stereotype (McIntyre, Paulson, Taylor, Morin and Lord, 2011). Having a talented female math teacher, for instance, can help dispel the myth that women are not good at math.

This research is fascinating, and it has led me to wonder about its application to evangelical women. There are many stereotypes out there about women that are both sociological and psychological, so the cycle can be tough to break. If women believe they are not capable of thinking theologically, or leading and teaching in the church effectively, then that stereotype perpetuates an unfortunate cycle in which women are hesitant to even try.

That said, there are two applications that evangelicals can take from the above research. The first applies to men. In the same way that authority figures have the power to break stereotypes with a simple word, men in the evangelical church have that power as well. That is not to say that women should not also speak out against unbiblical stereotypes, but research seems to indicate that the power group–the group that is stereotyped as being naturally gifted or authoritative in a certain area–has particular influence in this regard. If men were to tell their wives, daughters, mothers, and sisters that women can think theologically, that women should be important voices in the church, and that the church needs the contributions of these women, that message would have a tremendous, positive impact.

I should add that this influence is evident in my own life. I have a strong and brilliant dad who has always been unconditionally supportive. Although both my parents believe in me (sometimes more than they should!) my dad would seriously fight anyone who tried to stand in my way. I am no doubt the woman I am today because my dad wanted a strong daughter.

In short, men, we need you! Challenge your wives and raise strong daughters!

The second application from the above research concerns us ladies. If we want to see younger generations of women pushing themselves and using their gifts for the Kingdom of God, then we need to be doing that ourselves. Change can be slow and discouraging at times, but the more women who are out there studying, growing and leading, the more we can expect younger women to follow our example. Change begins with us.

Scholars are still exploring solutions to stereotype threat, and there are more solutions than I have mentioned here. What I especially appreciate about this research is its helpfulness in separating out truth from cultural constructions. If we are confident that all truth is God’s truth, then these studies are surely an asset to the church. As the data reveals, our assumptions about one another are sometimes based more on society than they are on God’s design for His creation.

What are women free to do?

I’ve been thinking about that question a lot lately. Depending on where you’re standing, this question can sound like a loaded one. For some, it is a political question. For others, an ecclesiological one. I have been thinking about it from a different angle altogether.

Over the last few weeks I have been studying freedom from a philosophical perspective. As much as we talk about freedom in this country, it’s a very complex issue that means different things to different people. In fact, I would argue that the American understanding of freedom is somewhat different from the Christian understanding of it. But I have also been thinking about freedom as it relates to women in the church. More specifically, I’ve been thinking about the purpose of women’s ministry, and what it means when women in the church are truly free.

Amidst my research thus far, one idea that has really captured my imagination is that of negative and positive freedom. For those of you who are unfamiliar with these two concepts, they can be summarized as follows:

Negative freedom = freedom from. It is freedom from external restraint, such as freedom from an oppressive government, freedom from slavery, or freedom from an abusive relationship. It is essentially about freedom of opportunity.

Positive freedom = freedom to. This kind of freedom has a more internal component to it. It characterizes an inner freedom that manifests itself in free action. For instance, Catholic philosopher Charles Taylor used the example of someone who is so paralyzed by a fear of breaking with the norm that his actions always conform to the status quo, rather than reflecting his authentic self. Such a person might possess negative freedom, but he does not possess positive freedom.

Both negative and positive freedom are important for Christians. By advocating for the victims of oppression–whether the oppression is overt or subtly systemic–we demonstrate signs of God’s good Kingdom. Likewise, Christians also emphasize positive freedom. In Christ, we press beyond the liberation from external restraints to a liberation from fear, insecurity, or hate.

In the realm of women’s ministry, both types of freedom are valued and promoted. We could be doing much more on both fronts, and there are still some major issues that have yet to be confronted, but women in the church are undoubtedly finding freedom from both external and internal oppressors. That work is happening, and we need to continue it.

Which leads me to my main point. As much as we talk about freedom for women, as many books out there encourage freedom from legalism or shame, there is an action component to positive freedom that I fear we have missed. Positive freedom is not merely an internal version of negative freedom. It is not just another type of freedom from. Rather, there is an operative function, whereby women do something with their freedom.

This leads us back to the heart of my opening question. For me, the emphasis in the question is not on the “what” but on the “do.” Now that you are free, what are you doing with that freedom? How are you using your freedom to serve God? Are you using that freedom from shame to live a comfortable existence, or to run full steam after God? Now that you are free from the expectation that your house and hair must always look perfect, how are you using that extra time to serve your church, your community, or the world?

In addition to asking that question of ourselves, women need to ask that question of their women’s ministries as well: What is the point of women’s ministry? Does it simply exist to help women be free from pain? That is a worthy and crucial function, but it is also too small. The ultimate goal for women should not be passive freedom, but an active freedom that changes the world for God.

I will close with a passage from Hebrews to which I have already alluded. These verses are especially relevant because of what the author does with his freedom. He throws off everything that entangles for the purpose of running harder and faster toward the goal. It is also worth noting that the goal is not himself–it is not comfort or even healing, but Christ. That is, ultimately, why we cast off hindrances–to live a life defined by an all-out pursuit of Jesus.

Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.

- Hebrews 12:1-2

This month I’ve been wrapping up my summer schoolwork with an independent study of feminist theology, and I have really loved it! My research has been educational, thought-provoking, and personally challenging, which is exactly what I was hoping it would be.

As I have explored the history of feminism and its relationship to Christian theology, I’ve noticed a significant historical trend that includes, but is not limited to, feminism. To give you a little background on what I mean, one of the early criticisms of the feminist movement was its narrow scope. Although feminism sought to achieve equal rights and status for women, the movement was predominantly led by middle class, educated white women. Women of other ethnicities and nationalities consequently felt marginalized by the dominant ideologies of the movement. Although feminism set out to end this kind of social stratification, it unintentionally added to it.

Now before we villainize feminism for this hypocrisy, it is important to point out that feminism is not the first to make a mistake of this kind. Feminism is just one of many movements throughout history that initially marginalized others in its own quest for freedom.  Consider the United States’ own history. Our nation is founded on the pillars of freedom and equality,  and yet this newly liberated State was built on the backs of oppressed African slaves. White men achieved unprecedented freedom, only to withhold that freedom from women and minorities.

Examples such as these abound. When a group accesses freedom and empowerment, no matter how populist or democratic its initial intentions may be, it is likely to overlook others in need of liberation. In fact, some movements deliberately disadvantage others in order to ensure their own success.

As I studied feminism and reflected on this historical pattern, I began to wonder whether I succumb to the same kind of tunnel vision. Have I ever focused so unflinchingly on a personal cause or call that I forgot about the bigger picture and marginalized others in the process?

I am quite sure that I have. For example, I love teaching and discipling women in the church. I feel called to serve and equip Christian women, and I feel it is incumbent on the church to do the same. However, my passion can easily morph into tunnel vision, especially when Christian women are marginalized by the church. The urgency of this injustice, which is particularly close to my heart, narrows my gaze.

As a result of this tunnel vision, I lose perspective. My determination to advocate for women in the church can eclipse other aspects of the Christian call. I can become so focused on women in the church that I ignore women outside the church who need the love of Christ, or I forget about women around the world who need food, clean water, safety, and medical support.

Whether this tunnel vision is a manifestation of sin or simply the limited capacity of human nature, it is a common temptation that takes many forms. For people like me, ministries in the church draw our attention away from ministries to the world. For others, protecting their family can prevent them from protecting the poor and the weak outside their family. And still others can become so absorbed in evangelism or social justice that they neglect the friends and family closest to them.

To be fair, none of us is called to serve in every area of ministry out there. In fact, God does NOT call us to a degree of over-commitment in which we do everything, but we do it poorly. However, ministry is not a zero sum game in which commitments are mutually exclusive. There are ways that I can serve the women in my church AND serve women outside the church.

In fact, I know women who do just that. In His goodness, God has connected me with women who exemplify the full vision of the Christian life, and here are just a few of them:

• Author Helen Lee recently published the book The Missional Mom
• Activist Shayne Moore published Global Soccer Mom
• Tracey Bianchi equips women for everyday environmental stewardship in Green Mama
• And my friend Margot Starbuck just posted a challenging blog titled “Myopically Mothering My Own as Mission?“

Although each one of these Christian women writes from the particular perspective of motherhood, each sets an example for mothers and non-mothers alike. These women resist the tunnel vision that would monopolize their time and attention, opting instead for a life that reflects the fullness of Christ’s.

These women also remind us that the different spheres of Christian ministry are beautifully complementary: Global outreach gives me patience and perspective at home. As a mother one day, community outreach will model mission-mindedness for my children. And the reality of female oppression worldwide reminds me to be grateful for the equality women enjoy in America.

When understood this way, the multi-faceted Christian call seems less like a list of duties and more like a glimpse of God’s design for humanity. We are meant to be connected to one another, loving one another and serving one another. When we sequester ourselves in one part of ministry or service, we miss out on the fullness of God’s heart for the world. When tunnel vision limits our sight, I suspect it also limits our love.

Did you know that Peter was married?

I’m sure I learned this fun fact at some point during seminary, but I had forgotten about it until this week when my pastor mentioned it. Peter’s wife doesn’t enjoy much remembrance because she doesn’t appear directly in Scripture. In fact, the only biblical reference to Peter’s marital status comes from Matthew 8:14–

When Jesus came into Peter’s house, he saw Peter’s mother-in-law lying in bed with a fever.

Jesus healed Peter’s mother-in-law, by the way, and it is probably because of miracles like this one that Peter’s wife became quite the committed disciple herself. We know this from an account written by Eusebius, a Roman historian born in the late 4th century who documented the growth of the early church.

According to Eusebius, Peter’s wife was martyred the same day that Peter was famously crucified upside down. In fact, Peter’s wife was executed first. What follows is the account of that day:

“They say, accordingly, that when the blessed Peter saw his own wife led out to die, he rejoiced because of her summons and her return home, and called to her very encouragingly and comfortingly, addressing her by name, and saying, ‘Oh thou, remember the Lord.’ Such was the marriage of the blessed, and their perfect disposition toward those dearest to them.”

Simply breath-taking.

As stunning as this story is, Peter’s wife was not the only woman to die a violent death for her faith. Several years ago I posted the story of Perpetua, a young Christian woman in the early church who refused to recant her faith, despite the pleas of her family. She then gave birth in prison before walking proudly to a gruesome end.

The women of the early church were lionesses. I have no doubt they were afraid, but they were able to face death with such courage and resolve because their eyes were fixed on their Father above, not the challenge before them.

That is an example I find both terribly inspiring as well as humbling. I am humbled into questioning my own commitment to Christ were I to be so tested. Yet I am also humbled by the comparatively low expectations we hold for women today. Perpetua and Peter’s wife appear so firm and unflinching, whereas Christian women in American appear so fragile. Much of women’s ministry is devoted to lifting women out of suffering, whereas Perpetua and Peter’s wife walked straight into it.

Granted, there are different types of suffering and God does not call us to pain for pain’s sake. Scripture contains both words of comfort and calls to take up one’s cross and die. While suffering is a guarantee, there are certainly times when healing and protection are powerful marks of the Kingdom of God in our lives.

But perhaps we have wandered off the path that leads a recovered soldier back into battle. This wouldn’t be surprising given the degree to which women are treated like porcelain dolls, damsels in distress to be rescued by their princes. Husbands are protectors and women are, too often, the wounded in need of saving.

Where, in all of this, is the kind of marriage we see between Peter and his wife? What does it mean for a husband to send his wife valiantly to execution while declaring, “Remember the Lord!” Protector, he was not. Proud co-laborer for Christ, he was.

Consider also the example of Perpetua, a mother who would rather die than recant her faith and protect her child. Do we even have language for that understanding of motherhood and family?

The stories of women like Perpetua and Peter’s wife challenge us to question how much of our beliefs and practices are actually Biblical, or merely a reinforcing of our own romantic ideals. Are we using God to deliver us from suffering and give us the life we want,  or are we depending on God to run the race hard and fight the good fight? At the heart of all these questions lies a core question about priorities: What is your life ultimately about? You serving God, or God serving you?

When I read about Perpetua and Peter’s wife, I become convinced that we expect too little of Christian women today. Women are stronger than we give them credit for, and I make that statement not on the basis of natural human power but on the God we serve. Women belong to a God who possesses an infinite supply of courage and might, and on that basis we are a force to be reckoned with. I think it’s time to raise the bar.

Alright ladies–it’s been awhile since I’ve shared some of the more “academic” stuff I’ve been learning, but there’s something that’s been on my mind for awhile that I think is important. For those of you who love philosophy and church history, this blog will be especially up your alley, but for everyone who reads this I hope you will be challenged by it because it matters. So here goes.

As a young woman with an undergraduate degree in Religion and a Master of Divinity, I have found that one of the chief elements lacking in my credibility as a minister to women is experience. By that I don’t necessarily mean experience in ministry, of which I now have about a decade’s worth. What I’m instead referring to is life experience. Periodically, I write on topics dealing with singleness, or the sanctity of life, or some other hot issue, only to be met with the challenge:

If you haven’t gone through this personally, then you really have no business talking about it.

As hard as those comments are to receive, there is an aspect of them that I really value. Reminders about my inexperience have bred humility and mercy in my teaching. I may have theological training, but I do not have the perspective that comes with years of marriage, parenting, and surviving the hard knocks of life. As a result of such comments, I now consider my limited experience soberly. I think and hope I am a better teacher because of those comments.

However, the emphasis on experience as a mark of authority is also a cause for concern. It is symptomatic of a larger cultural trend in which individuals presume to be a experts based solely upon their own experience. Personal experiences is certainly a valuable component of any good and holistic conversation, but opinions shaped solely by experience are also more vulnerable to subjectivity.

As a cultural phenomenon this trend is indeed troubling, but what I find most alarming is its influence on the church. More specifically, this experience-based approach to authority manifests in an emerging pattern among ministries to women. Consider, for example, the landscape of popular women’s ministry organizations today. Many of the most notable women’s ministers of our generation have little theological education and instead stand on the platform of their personal testimony. They have overcome the pain of abuse or a miscarriage or an abortion or depression, and they now help other women do the same.

While I commend the women who have used their stories to do the work of God and I by no means wish to detract from their anointed ministries, this brand of female teacher has become the norm. In fact, evangelical women have come to expect it. We expect female preachers to share tales from trenches, and we struggle to connect with them if they don’t. A seminary degree or the ability to preach Scripture with power and authority—they’re all well and good—but if she isn’t a mom, then her credibility is shaky.

Strangely, we do not have the same standards for men entering the ministry. While some churches require pastors to be married before they can lead, age and inexperience are less often limitations for men. And in contrast with women, how many noted evangelical male pastors have created a platform for ministry based on their personal testimony?

Evangelical women are somewhat unique in their expectation that experience, not theological training, is what makes a female teacher authoritative. This attribute of women’s ministry today may not be surprising—experience is, after all, a marvelous teacher—but it is also problematic. At its root, it represents a liberalization of women’s ministry.

To understand why I have chosen the term “liberal” to assess the current state of women’s ministry, we need to turn back the pages of history and examine the origination of this trend. In the 18^th and 19^th centuries the Protestant church came under the influence of two significant men: Immanuel Kant and Fredrich Schleiermacher. Kant was a German philosopher who tried to establish a universal ethic that could stand on its own, apart from religious language and the subjectivism of the human mind.  Schleiermacher continued Kant’s work by arguing that religious experience was an objective reality that validated the unscientific claims of Christianity. Religious experience, he argued, provided Christians with the grounds for talking about religion in a reasonable and academic way.

Kant and Schleiermacher were not alone in reorienting the Church’s authoritative center. The story of this shift is far more complex than any one blog post can detail. But suffice it to say that personal experience has not always enjoyed the status it holds today. Prior to these liberalizing influences, personal experience was interpreted through the lens of Scripture and tradition. In popular women’s ministry today, that order is frequently reversed.

Ironically, this very history is why female teachers and writers need theological training. Experience is certainly a valuable attribute, but without a working knowledge of our church’s doctrine and history, women can unknowingly gravitate towards practices that have been widely discredited in traditional Christianity. Just last month I learned of a new book by a famous female speaker, and her basic thesis is founded upon an idea that has largely been dismissed by modern theologians.

To be fair, personal experience is what gives contour and depth to the truths we profess. It is the source of wisdom, humility and gentleness. It is a bridge that helps us to connect with one another in profoundly intimate ways. It can also be an educational tool of the Holy Spirit and a means of sanctification.

But personal experience is not the ultimate arbiter of truth. As much as we need women with life experience to share their wisdom, we also need women who are guarding the theological integrity of our women’s ministries. For women-oriented ministries to remain sound, they must therefore hold female leaders to the same standards that the church holds men. Not because personal experience isn’t powerful or meaningful, but because women’s ministries risk departing from the safeguards of Christian doctrine if we make it primary.

Yesterday I was fortunate to catch up with an old friend who serves as a pastor at my last church. He is thinking about creating a women’s ministry for the ladies in his congregation and he wanted to pick my brain about the process. I was SO excited to hear how the Holy Spirit is working in and through the women there–I really do love women’s ministry and it is especially encouraging when my brothers in Christ catch a vision for it too. However, in the course of our conversation I realized that he has been running up against an obstacle that is very common in evangelical churches today: the first woman problem.

At churches across the country there is a tremendous desire for strong, female teachers from whom the women of the church can learn and be challenged to grow. While Christian women want to hear from women who can encourage them with the wisdom that is born out of life experience, there is also a desire (particularly in younger generations) to study the deeper theological truths of the faith. And while it’s usually not too difficult to find women who would teach in in the former category, very few would volunteer to teach the latter.

When it comes to teaching Scripture in a way that is intellectually challenging, most Christian women don’t feel up to the job. And yet the popular demand for it persists.

That is the problem of the first woman. Churches will not have solid, female teachers if there is no system in place to train them and nurture them. Unfortunately there are few pre-existing female leaders to remedy that problem, and male pastors are often hesitant to mentor women. What results is a Catch-22 in which the church needs female teachers but has no female teachers to train them.

Given this predicament, there will have to be a “first woman” in every church who sets aside her insecurities and fears about inadequacy and blazes a trail for the women behind her. This will not only require courage, but it will also require initiative. Fortunately, we’re not starting from scratch. For those women who possess a seminary education, you are ahead of the game! God has provided you with the knowledge and the training to equip your sisters in Christ, so don’t be afraid to use it. Ask God how He intends to use your education for the edification of the Body, and then respond in obedience.

For the remaining 99% of Christian women who have not attended seminary or Bible college, don’t rule yourself out. Remember women like Anne Graham Lotz, daughter of evangelist Billy Graham, who never went to seminary but grew deep in the Word through her own personal study. Not everyone with the gift of teaching attends seminary, but God nevertheless calls you to exercise your gift in faith. If you suspect that teaching is a gift God has granted you, I challenge you to use it to serve God and His Church!

And for those of you who do not have the gift of teaching, or you do not feel called to women’s ministry, I would encourage you to affirm the women in your life who do. It is tough being the “first woman.” It can be lonely and the footing often feels unsure. Fears and temptations abound. Which is why these women need affirmation, prayer, and truth. Encourage them and reflect back to them the gifts that you see.

Before I close, I thought I would leave you with a few helpful websites that are great resources to female leaders and teachers. Although not all of these sites are explicitly leadership-oriented, many of them are theologically challenging and/or thought-provoking. You can find each one of these in my blogroll, but I thought I would highlight a few here:

Practical Theology for Women–Wendy Alsup wrote a book by the same name, and while she is the kind of women you can relate to she also writes in a way that pushes women to go to the next level. I really love the way she thinks and the way that she is not afraid to say difficult things.

Her.meneutics–This blog is a part of Christianity Today and the content is consistently excellent. The word “hermeneutics” means “interpretation,” and each post offers a Christian woman’s interpretation of varying cultural topics. It is a great example of how to engage relevant topics from Biblical perspective, a skill that EVERY woman needs to have in this day and age.

Gifted for Leadership–The blog also belongs to Christianity Today but it specifically addresses questions surrounding women and leadership.

Leading and Loving It–This is a very special site in that its resources for women are unique. It specifically targets pastor’s wives and women in ministry, offering encouraging blog posts, online e-conferences featuring influential Christian women, retreats, and virtual online communities. The virtual groups are especially neat because they connect women to one another from all over the country. It’s like having a small group in which every member is from a different city.

That’s just a start, but there are many other resources out there. If you think I need to add one to the list, just post it below!

When it comes to women and leadership, God is definitely on the move. In the coming years we are sure to see more books written by women on the topic of theology, and there will be an increasing number of outlets for women who have leadership and teaching gifts and want to hone them. We are in a period of transition right now, which can often feel clumsy and difficult, but we also have great reason to rejoice in what is to come!

Over the past 10 to 15 years there has developed within evangelicalism a language about men that is uber-masculine. The shift was aided by the publication of books like Wild at Heart by John Eldredge and the Promise Keepers movement. As men have decried the dangers of being a passive husband and father, the church has men encouraged to be strong and exercise the warrior spirit given to them by God.

Alongside of this development has grown a parallel movement among women. Every hero needs a damsel in distress, so Christian women have gladly assumed the identity of princess. After all, we are daughters of the King. In a culture where chivalry seems to be dead and women are objectified as meat instead of being exalted as treasures, the language of “princesses” comes as a welcome change.

Until recently I had not given much thought to this language. It seemed harmless enough. Last week, however, I ran across an article by Alexandra T. Armstrong that leveled a thought-provoking challenge to the trend of “princess” language. In the piece, Armstrong reflected on John MacArthur’s newest book Slave: The Hidden Truth about Your Identity in Christ. What Armstrong found most “unsettling” about MacArthur’s explanation of the Greek word for slave, doulos, is that it refers to

“a person who is the purchased property of another and lacks freedom of will. It does not mean a willing hired servant, for which there are several other Greek words.”

In other words, there’s no soft-pedaling the term. When you read the word “doulos” it means that you were, quite literally, bought with a price.

However, what I appreciated most about Armstrong’s article is what she said next:

“For years I’ve disdained the whole evangelical women’s ministry movement that encourages women to see themselves as God’s petted princesses who don’t know sanctification from spa treatments. Gags me. But slaves? Wouldn’t that be an equally unbalanced identity? MacArthur’s book has started to make me think not.”

Although there are few references to women as “princesses” in the Bible, Scripture refers to Christians as “slaves” 124 times. Does this pose a serious challenge to the way we talk about and think about ourselves as Christian women?

I think that it does. But before I explain why I want to offer a caveat. Whenever using the language of “slavery” in the same sentence as “women” it is important to proceed with caution. There are thousands of women in the world today who are actually in slavery. And given that reality, the Biblical language of slavery cannot and MUST not be read as an endorsement of that practice. Slavery to Christ is in no way akin to any form of worldly slavery, whether it is human trafficking or an abusive marriage. In fact, the two types of slavery are utterly incompatible with one another. A slave master of the world sets himself up against the benevolent lordship of Christ.

Bearing that in mind, let’s return to consider princess language. Perhaps the first and most obvious concern is that it ventures into the realm of humanistic self-help and even borders on vanity. That is not to say that women should not love themselves as God loves them, but to think of yourself as a “princess” is not exactly a moderate category of self-love.

What’s more, it can be difficult to reconcile the extravagant language of princess-hood with the words of Jesus. He certainly loves and values us all, but he also reminds us that the last will be first, that we will suffer as we take up his cross, and that the world will hate us. Hardly the life of a princess. Add to that Paul’s language of “slaves” and we are given a picture of discipleship that is altogether antithetical to the language of being a “princess.”

Does that mean we should do away with the princess identity? I wouldn’t say that. But I wonder if that particular identity is an eschatological category, not a present reality. By that I mean that it is a promise of our perfect place in the Kingdom of God. It is a reflection of how God loves us and values us, but it is not our position in the present world.

We exist between the already and the not yet. We live in a fallen world that does not value God’s people the way that He does. In fact, we live in a world that is impressed by princesses and socialites, watching their every move with baited breath, but is utterly apathetic to the plight of God’s true “princesses” who are suffering persecution in many parts of the world.

Again, that is not to say that women are not valuable, beautiful, and precious members of the Kingdom of God. We are. But the world does not see us that way, so we should not be indignant or feel self-entitled when the world doesn’t treat us that way. In fact, Jesus told us to expect this kind of rejection. Fortunately, we do not have to exalt ourselves and prop up our self-image with such passing, worldly standards. One day we will be taken up into perfection with God, and then will we truly know what it means to be a princess. I suspect that on that day the distance between being a princess and being a slave to Christ will not appear so great.

Last month I received a link to the following article that ran in Time Magazine entitled Meet the ‘Selfless’ Women of the ‘Stay at Home Daughters Movement’. I had never before heard of the Stay at Home Daughters Movement (SAHD for short) so the information came as quite a shock. Especially given that the article was written in what I would call an uncharitable manner.

Since that time I came across another article on Christianity Today’s blog for women, Her.meneutics (if you aren’t following this blog you SHOULD be!), that offered an arguably more balanced perspective on the movement. The post was called What Is the Stay-at-Home Daughters Movement and it was written by Karen Swallow Prior, a professor at Liberty University. I also highly recommend it. She summarizes the movement as follows:

Essentially, adherents of SAHD believe daughters should never leave the covering of their fathers until and unless they are married.

Of the movement’s strengths as listed by Prior, she included their emphasis on non-traditional, higher education and their high regard for the father-daughter relationship. I agree with Prior, and was pleased to read a review of the movement that did not throw the baby out with the bath water. While I disagree with many of SAHD’s conclusions, we can still learn from this member of Christ’s Body.

However, along with Prior I also share some concerns. Fortunately, Prior said them better than I could have in the following excerpt:

But the real issue is less “to stay or not to stay” than the underlying principle for doing so. While SAHD advocates cite ample scriptural passages to support their orthopraxy (the practice of their orthodoxy), the principle underlying that practice seems to me to lack explicit scriptural support. This principle is what they claim is a clear divide between “public and private” (terms less connected to biblical language than to Enlightenment concepts) or separate “spheres of dominion” for men and women. Vision Forum Ministries states that “men are called to public spheres of dominion beyond the home,” and “the God-ordained and proper sphere of dominion for a wife is the household and that which is connected with the home.”

It’s possible that this bipartite division is more a social construct than a biblical one. If separate spheres were extrapolated from biblical language and principles, it is more likely such realms would fall along a more complex, tripartite division like family, church, and society. Such a trinity of spheres complicates neat alignments with the God-given binary of male and female. 

Perhaps this helps explain some of the problem. For while the SAHD movement calls for daughters to “be helpers to their mother and blessings to [their] entire family,” their attentions appear largely focused on the ministry and business of the fathers. (By the way, none of the fathers, apparently, work at the local automotive plant.)

After I read that section the first time, I read it back to my husband word-for-word because I thought it was so dead on! The distinction between public and private spheres for men and women is indeed a liberal construct, not a Christian one. And as the last line implies, the SAHD ideology would be difficult to live out in a family living within a low economic bracket. 

Now, I am always wary of setting up straw men that are easily knocked down, especially when the leaders of the movement aren’t here to defend themselves, so I must affirm that if these women feel led to stay at home with their fathers in preparation for marriage, then more power to them! Does that mean that ALL women are called to do the same? Certainly not. As mentioned above, we have to be very careful of belief systems that develop out of our financial privilege or personal convictions, lest they exclude entire populations within the Body of Christ.

What is the take-away lesson here?

In the face of these disagreements it’s important to remember that there are central issues to the Christian faith, but there are also debatable ones. Mark Driscoll refers to this difference as close-fisted and open-fisted issues. Some doctrines, such as the Trinity and the divine nature of Christ, are “close-fisted” doctrines. We do not let go of them. They are non-negotiables. On the other hand, there are also open-fisted beliefs, such as speaking in tongues or worship style. When it comes to the open-fisted beliefs, we can have union with other Christians even if we disagree with them.

I believe that  SAHD is an open-fisted belief. I disagree with some of their conclusions (some very strongly!) but they are still my sisters in Christ. In contrast with the many articles that have slandered SAHD without mercy, a response of kindness and gentleness is, I believe, more faithful to the character of Christ.

On Friday I was having the WORST day! It seemed like everything that could have gone wrong did, and I was in a terrible mood. Poor Ike had to deal with an impenetrable wall of grumpiness. I was SO ILL. Oooh it was bad.

Fortunately, I had plans that night. It was my first “girls night” since I’ve moved to the area. And boy was the timing PERFECT! We got dressed up, went to a cute little downtown area in a local village, ate Thai and talked the night away. By the end of the evening all my grumpiness had melted away and I felt like myself again. That sweet fellowship with my girl friends was just what the doctor ordered.

Later that night as I thanked God for the gift of friendship, I remembered a blog I wrote a couple years ago called “Too Good for Girl Time?“.  Female friendship is such a blessing and a valuable resource for Christian women–one that is too often underestimated. With that in mind, I decided to repost an excerpt from that blog that I refer to in ministry all the time. It examines the top two reasons that women should have consistent, intentional fellowship with other women. As you will see from the excerpt below, women sincerely need other women in their lives. Even on a biological level, it’s clear that God designed us this way!

1. Girl Time is Good For Your Health–Studies have shown that spending time with other women has positive biological effects on your body. God desires that we take care of ourselves, and the women around us, and girl time is a crucial part of that equation. One article explains:

When women are stressed, the hormone oxytocin [known as the "love" hormone] is released as part of the stress response; it buffers the typically male “fight or flight” stress response. Oxytocin production encourages women to gather and gab with other women–and when a woman does bond with her pals, studies indicate she’ll release more oxytocin, which further alleviates stress and creates tranquility.

That’s the good news about female bonding: When we talk to each other, we feel better-at least temporarily. But there’s a bigger picture effect at work. What often occurs in conversation between women, especially under stress, is commiserating. Haven’t you noticed that when you have men, motherhood, or career problems, you tend to gravitate toward friends who have the same kinds of challenges?…Friends who praise and appreciate life together get closer to each other and soar higher in their personal and professional lives. (For whole article click here)

2. Girl Time is a Scriptural Mandate–Ok, so maybe there’s no verse in 2 Chronicles that specifically commands women to spend time together (although Titus 2 comes pretty close!). But what is mandated by Scripture is fellowship. I’m not sure why we’ve come to think of having fun with other Christians as a lesser spiritual practice, but given that Jesus’ final words to his disciples were delivered in the context of a group meal, we can surmise that fellowship is pretty important.

That said, going bowling, going out to dinner, hanging out at a friend’s apartment–all of these activities are valuable forms of Christian fellowship. We may not be explicitly talking about Christ, but the way in which we listen to one another, build one another up, and create an environment of trust has the fingerprints of Christ all over it. The Body of Christ is a refuge of safety and strength, but we’re also allowed to have fun in the process!

If you’ve ever wondered why women gravitate to women’s ministry events en masse and love spending the day just being together, I hope the above thoughts shed some light on the topic. As a general rule, women are relational beings and we will naturally be inclined to fellowship with other women when we have the chance. And given that the church is designed as a body, our inclination toward community is actually a God-given strength. Isn’t God amazing that He could use something for His glory and work that we LOVE so much?!