Nice Book Cover


Why we love to be liked and how God calls us to more.

Niceness serves our reputation well, but it also takes the teeth out of our witness and the power out of our faith. Explore the seemingly innocent idol that has crept into our faith and quietly corrupted it, and learn to cultivate a tree that bears better, richer, more life-giving fruit.

God never called us to be nice.

A seemingly innocent idol has crept into the Church…

We live in a culture that prizes niceness as one of its highest virtues. Niceness keeps the peace, wins friends, gains influence, and serves our reputations well, but it also takes the teeth out of our witness and the power out of our faith.

Wondering if this book is for you? See what other leaders have to say…

We often think about breaking free from bad habits, past hurts, or negative patterns, but what if the reason we sometimes feel hollow and stuck is because of a subtle but deceptive addiction to 'nice'--acting like we should so we can get what we want. Sharon Hodde Miller's book Nice is challenging me and helping me to discover a truer way to live authentically free. Sharon is a refreshing voice full of truth and wisdom.

Lysa TerKeurstNew York Times bestselling author and president of Proverbs 31 Ministries

As a leader and teacher who prized 'niceness,' I'm shocked by the truth uncovered in Nice. It's simple--but true--and completely profound. Niceness has trumped honesty and crept into pulpits, cubicles, and friendships, disguised as a fruit of the Spirit. Sharon bravely prunes and removes the faux virtue and pushes us to bear real fruit.

Bianca Juarez OlthoffPastor, teacher, and best-selling author of Play With Fire

'God did not call you to be nice.' Starting with this powerful truth, Sharon unpacks the false idols of our day with humility and passion. She shares how to discern truth and never be locked into the prison of 'nice' again.

Alli WorthingtonAuthor of Fierce Faith and Founder of The Blissdom Conference

Our culture is desperate for Jesus's love--his kindness, his compassion, his cross--but we fool ourselves if we think we can replace gospel sacrifice with bland niceness. In these pages, Sharon calls out the spiritual impotence of 'nice Christianity' and invites us into a faith that honors Christ and matters to others. This message is as timely and urgent as ever, which is why I highly recommend this book!

Dr. Derwin L. GrayLead pastor of Transformation Church and author of Limitless Life

I'm passionate about walking in the tension of truth and love, but it's not always easy. Will I choose courage or compromise? Conviction or cliché? Sometimes I slide into the latter easier than I think, all for the sake of being liked. Sharon's new book, Nice: Why We Love to Be Liked and How God Calls Us to More, will challenge you to the core to rise up and walk in godly conviction, step into hard conversations, and test the fruit of your life. This book will give you the opportunity to bear rich, authentic, life-giving fruit that lasts.

Andi AndrewAuthor, speaker, pastor, and founder of She is Free

There is a spirit of venom in our culture today that makes agreeable Christianity seem appealing and benign. Sharon has experienced this temptation in her own life, and she exposes the empty discipleship produced by a faith whose greatest ambition is to be 'nice.' At a time when Christians swing between hair-trigger outrage and shallow likability, this is a vision we need.

Ed StetzerBilly Graham Distinguished Chair, Wheaton College

As I read Sharon Hodde Miller's new book, Nice: Why We Love to Be Liked and How God Calls Us to More, I had two recurring thoughts. The first was--Oh, my toes--because Sharon lovingly and convincingly calls out the excuses and the lies that can lurk behind our niceness. The second thought, however, was--Get it, Sharon Hodde Miller!--because her words challenge and convict but also call us to be higher and better in our motives, our actions, and our relationships. Beautifully written, thoughtfully structured, and theologically sound, Nice will inspire personal reflection and corporate encouragement as we read and ask the Lord to help us be who we say we are and who he calls us to be.

Sophie HudsonAuthor of Giddy Up, Eunice and cohost of The Big Boo Cast

The title of this book, Nice: Why We Love to Be Liked and How God Calls Us to More, may evoke feelings of soft, sweet Christian living, but author Sharon Hodde Miller tackles the topic of motivation and acceptance with scholarly depth and substance. Sharon skillfully guides readers to understand how our emphasis on being 'nice' misses God's greater purposes of spiritual maturity and genuine transformation. Challenging and needed during this age of polarization in our nation and shallow social media soundbites, I am grateful for Sharon's example, heart, and timely message found in the pages of this book.

Vivian MabuniSpeaker and author of Open Hands, Willing Heart: Discover the Joy of Saying Yes to God

As an outspoken, justice-driven woman who has struggled with the word nice my whole life, I needed to read this book. Sharon Hodde Miller not only helped me wisely sort through the truth about my struggles, but she also reminded me of my gospel responsibility to choose Jesus over myself. I find Nice a must-read for every believer maneuvering the difficult road of human opinion--I dare say, a struggle for us all.

Lisa WhittleAuthor of 5 Word Prayers and I Want God; Bible teacher; podcast host of Jesus Over Everything

The soul-crushing desire to be liked and accepted can manifest itself in many ways. For Sharon Hodde Miller, it was through an idol we won't likely consider on our own--the idol of niceness. In her book Nice, Miller turns our accepted notions of niceness on their heads, challenging us to think of a better, more biblical way to engage the world and others and root out sin that keeps us from true and honest virtues. God can turn our niceness and self-focus to a grace-filled love for others, and I believe this book is a helpful tool he could use along the journey.

Trillia NewbellAuthor of If God Is For Us, Fear and Faith, and God's Very Good Idea

Sharon is the ideal person from whom to learn to let go of the need to be liked. I've watched her over the years and have longed to know her secrets. Sharon possesses the ability to be kind but rejects the temptation to stop at being 'nice.' She is a fierce voice for truth. When we let go of being liked, we grow in the unique way God made us, the passions he put in our hearts and, most of all, the integrity he instilled in us. I'm grateful to have Sharon as an example and a teacher.

Hayley MorganAuthor of Preach to Yourself and coauthor of Wild and Free

Purchase today →

Download The Group Study Guide!

We’ve put together a FREE Group Study Guide for you to use with your study group.

Use Nice as a group study to:

  • Identify common forms of nice Christianity and how they manifest in your life
  • Stop being nice and start practicing true kindness, honesty, courage, and joy
  • Develop a deeper, sturdier faith that can withstand life’s storms and even flourish in the middle of them

What’s inside?

What happens when we replace conviction with clichès?

Too often, we trade courage for compromise, honesty for likability, and discipleship with a devotion to being nice. For many Christians, following Jesus simply means being really, really nice. But, it is not niceness that we are called to. In Nice, explore why we love to be liked and how God calls us to more.

This book is for you if…

You’re ready to stop playing nice and dive into a life of discipleship

Inside of this book, you’ll learn to identify the bad fruits of niceness. Then, dive into a practical guide on how to cultivate a better tree that produces real and lasting change.

Just some Amazon reviews

I didn’t think Sharon Hodde Miller could top Free of Me, until I read Nice. If you have ever struggled with being liked and accepted... this book is Sharon’s gift to you.

Christina L.

I wish I could put into words how I feel about this book, but honestly, I can’t do it justice. This is the book our culture needs right now.

Molly S.

This is the first book of Sharon's that I've read, and wow, does she pinpoint some key issues in a Christian's walk today.

Joyce D.

This book is so very thought provoking and well written. It makes so much sense and has opened my eyes to my idol: being nice for reasons that never even dawned on me.

Ruby D.

I led a zoom group of 10 women through reading this book and watching the video bible study series. I can't recommend it enough.

Wendy M.

A friend recommended this book to me and I’m really glad she did. The first couple of chapters were so insightful and I can’t wait to finish!


Both convicting and encouraging. I can’t imagine any American Christian who would not benefit from reading this book - man or woman.

Amy H.

The book Nice is a different kind of book one that will challenge you in a great way. I enjoyed reading the book.

Shuana H.

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