Theology for Women

In my last entry I posted an article about the Church, and it contained one of the greatest analogies I have ever heard: You can’t love Jesus and hate his wife. That is, you can’t love Jesus and hate his bride, the Church. So many young people today are ALL about Jesus, but ironically hate the Church. They conveniently overlook the fact that the Church is both Christ’s bride, and his body. Jesus probably appreciates this kind of slander about as much as a man would appreciate someone talking smack about his wife.

When it comes to the Church, our generation desperately needs a smack upside the head, because this behavior is unacceptable. And these next few blogs are meant to serve as just such a smack. I am going to take some time to look at the marks of the Church, not only because we should know what the Church looks like, but because we are the future leaders of the Church. The Church in America is dying, and if young adults continue to approach the Church with such apathy and complacent consumerism, then we cannot expect the trend to change. We will seal its fate.

If, however, you desire to see change, revival, and growth in the American church, then take these marks to heart, because it will be your responsibility to guard them in the very near future.

The passage I’m going to draw from in this series of blogs is Acts 2:42-47. Here we observe a healthy church that is engaging in intimate fellowship, but not to the point of becoming a clique. They have a heart for the poor, and God is also adding newly converted individuals to their number daily. This is the kind of church we should emulate.

That being said, the first mark of the Church that I want to discuss is found in verse 42:

“They devoted themselves to the apostles teaching.”

What is the first mark of a church? –>Preaching Gospel-centered doctrine. Yes, this seems obvious, but it’s importance cannot be understated. We live in a culture that tends to rank sincerity over truth–”as long as I believe something with all my heart, then it must be true, right?”

Wrong. I can sincerely believe that I can fly when I jump off my roof, but that doesn’t mean I will. Not only does sincere belief NOT make something true, but it can actually be deeply harmful, especially in matters of eternity. I can sincerely believe I can fly…all the way down to splatting on the ground.

That is why the church CANNOT be based upon sincerity alone (though sincerity is important!). It must be based on truth. More specifically, it must be based on the Gospel. It is truth, not our emotions or sentimentalities about the truth, that form the Church’s foundation, so we must work hard to guard that foundation.

That being said, we must be sure to serve in a church that believes the Gospel completely, not just parts of it. This means you need to listen for what your church teaches, as well as what it does NOT teach. As D.A. Carson says, “Error is truth out of proportion,” so take note that your church is preaching ALL that is in Scripture, not just the parts of the Gospel that make them comfortable. Part of the Gospel is not the Gospel at all–it is more likely legalism or works-righteousness.

That is what it means to “devote ourselves to the apostles’ teaching.” Devotion is whole-hearted, uninhibited, and faithful adherence. That is the kind of commitment to the Gospel that we should see in our churches. It is also the kind of legacy we ourselves should be leaving. Don’t be arrogant, but be true. Our time as leaders is coming, so fight for right doctrine.

That’s right, Jesus’ wife.

Below is a blog that you have GOT to read. It’s entitled “You Can’t Love Jesus and Hate His Wife,” and I think it has a prophetic message for young adults today. It’s a little long, but even if you don’t make it all the way through, the initial analogy is worth the read. Hopefully this blog will help you to understand why I spend so much time talking about the importance of the church. I consider this author a kindred spirit.

Enjoy!
You Can’t Love Jesus and Hate His Wife

It’s been a long time since I’ve witnessed something so morally shocking and unethical that my jaw literally dropped to the floor. Yet this was my exact response yesterday when I saw the new show that MTV will be airing next month called “A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila.” In case you haven’t yet heard of it, the premise is as follows:

Tila Tequila is a young woman who has made herself famous through MySpace–she set the record for having the most number of friends on MySpace (over 2 million) due in large part to her exhibitionist behavior. But, what many of her fans don’t know is that, as she so eloquently puts it, she’s a “crazy bi-sexual” and she wants to decide which way she’d rather swing. So, she invites 16 lesbians and 16 straight guys onto the show in an attempt to find her perfect match. It’s kind of like the Bachelor and the Bachelorette combined–except they’re all competing for the same girl.

The preview showed scenes of Tila making out with both guys and girls, and it seriously made me want to wretch. I felt as if all morality had been thrown to the wind. In case there was any doubt as to whether MTV was being guided by any sort of moral compass, it is now safe to conclude that it is not.

But what is even more disconcerting to me is how quickly I will become desensitized to this filth. Even though the shock factor is still shaking me as I write this, it won’t forever. Soon this show will be old news, and MTV will start looking for new and different ways to push the envelope. Soon this show will seem tame.

And how do I know this to be true? I can just look at our culture’s track record and see this pattern. Or forget culture–I can see this pattern in my own life! I remember when it used to disgust me that the Bachelor hooked up with different girls on the same night. But I’ve gotten used to it. Even though I don’t like it, the sin doesn’t sicken me like it used to.

I also remember a time when showing a homosexual kiss on t.v. was extremely controversial, and I couldn’t bear to watch it. Now, it’s almost become common place on t.v. Network execs no longer debate about whether or not to air such material–after all, it’s a part of life, isn’t it? Why censor something that is normal? So even though I don’t enjoy watching it, I can now tolerate it, because I’ve simply gotten used to it. What used to set off my morality alarm now seems relatively every day.

That is the danger of shows like MTV’s newest venture. While it is certainly despicable that this material is on t.v., the real tragedy is when it becomes the norm, when when we stop being shocked and repelled by it. We become so desensitized to this filth because something will come along that makes it look benign in comparison. It all becomes relative–as long as we can come up with something worse, then our current immorality doesn’t seem that bad after all. In this way, a culture of relativism does more than simply relativize spirituality and philosophy–it relativizes ethics. As long as we can find something worse than what we’re doing right now, our immorality can’t really be all that bad. And thus we legitimize our sin, thereby setting us on a path that leads only to moral and spiritual self-destruction.

For this reason we’ve GOT to stay in the Word. It is our only defence against this moral corrosion, because it is the only standard we have that is not subject to relativism. Scripture’s standards are not based upon “what’s worse,” but are instead based upon God’s unchanging truth. It is the only true litmus test of our culture’s morals, so we won’t be able to judge popular ethics rightly if we are not judging them according to the one true standard by which all other standards should be measured.

But in addition to staying in the Word, I have one simple, yet surprisingly difficult request: DON’T WATCH THESE SHOWS! I know we all have this fascination with other people’s sick lives, and the shock value is certainly entertaining, but don’t be so naive as to think that what goes into your brain doesn’t somehow shape you. In the same way that God’s Word plants seeds in our hearts that flourish into righteousness, the images and perspectives that we get on t.v. will also plant seeds–seeds that flourish into strongholds of sin. We’ve got to guard ourselves against that influence, which means we cannot be passive when it comes to t.v., radio, movies, etc. Our bodies are God’s temple, and we should not be filling His temple with trash. This is especially difficult when God’s trash appears to be the world’s treasure.

The imagination is a powerful thing. Depending on how you use it, it can result in great good or great harm. This fact has been on my mind a lot lately as I have noticed the ways in which I grossly misuse, or under-use, my imagination. Let me explain what I mean by this….

Imagination is a gift that God has given us, and, when used toward its proper end, can be an amazing asset to the Kingdom of God. Far too often we are limited by our insecurities and doubts, so we do not use our imaginations to their full extent. We do not dream God-sized dreams, and we do not imagine grand visions for His Kingdom. In fact, imagination rarely plays any part in our pursuit of God. Instead, we get stuck in our daily routines of going to Bible study, going to Church, hanging out with our Christian friends, etc.

Imagination is not a practice that we have written into our Christian lives, and you rarely hear people talk about it being a discipline we should hone. But if God gave us an imagination, then we should be using it to glorify Him, rather than wasting it. And just like any gift that God gives, we should use it with skill and with excellence. Our minds should be in overdrive as we go through our days, constantly thinking and praying for vision in the way we live out our faith. When we see that homeless person standing on the side of the street, we should be thinking of creative ways to help the poor in our communities. When your fellow student, co-worker, or neighbor is having a hard time, you should be thinking of original ways to reach out to them in love. Or, we can be formulating new ways to strike up conversations with people about the Gospel. I think the billboard and Gospel tract methods have been slightly exhausted, so new strategies on this front are greatly needed.. The possibilities are endless, but we rarely even scratch the surface.

Now all of this is not to say that we don’t use our imaginations. Ironically, we use them all the time–just not in the way God designed them to be used. For example, girls are notorious for day-dreaming about what their lives would be like if they started dating a certain guy. I myself am guilty of this–just yesterday I was talking to my roommate about the pros and cons of marrying a certain guy, but I’ve never even gone out with him! Even in the middle of the conversation I was struck by the absurdity of it, as well as the potential danger of it. If I desire to guard my heart, then it is a slippery slope when you begin speculating on possibilities that may never come to fruition, especially if that certain guy ends up dating someone else. Then you are left devastated because your dreams have been snatched away.

But dating is not the only way in which our imaginations are misused. You can get carried away thinking about what your life would be like if you could just have kids, a spouse who understood you more, a better job where you made more money, and so on. All of these exercises in the imagination are spiritually deadly because they draw you into feeling discontent with the life that you currently have. What’s more, this kind of imagining allows you to construct a world in which you are the center, and in such a world, God has no part.

It is here that I want to highlight an extremely deceptive way in which imagination can play out. Thus far I have explained that our imaginations should be used for the glory of God and the furthering of His Kingdom, not the furthering of ourselves, but this line is not always black and white. Sometimes we can delude ourselves into thinking that we are dreaming big dreams for God, when those dreams are only masking our own pride. For instance, there is a part of me that would love to write books that lots of people read, books that help transform people into better disciples of Christ. That is a godly desire. But I would be lying if I said it wasn’t also mixed with pride. There is a part of me that wants to have a creative imagination and do great things for God so that people will remember me as having done something great for God. In the end, it’s not so much about God as it is about me. With that in mind, we must be cautious, because even in using our imaginations rightly, sin can still creep in to pervert it.

So if this is an area in which you struggle, I have two tips for you. First, if you notice that your imagination is carrying you away in unedifying ways, come up with a thought you can replace that imagining with. For instance, if you find yourself dreaming about a certain guy, a better job, or an overall different life, divert your thoughts onto praying for your lost friends, or for your family. In this way, you not only stop the unhealthy day-dreaming, but you also take the focus off of yourself. And if you feel that you are not using your imagination in the daily routine of your walk with God, then start praying for God to open your eyes to the ways in which you can break the routine and be creative in your worship of Him. But most of all, go beyond imagining–we must be more than dreamers; we must also be doers. So dream those dreams, but pray for the boldness to live them out as well. Even if you are using your imagination in a healthy way, you are still misusing it if you never live it out. That is ultimately what imagination is for.

I just heard a fantastic quote from the football coaching great, Vince Lombardi. In the event that you’re not an avid football enthusiast (and don’t let me fool you into thinking that I am one–I know nothing about football), Vince Lombardi is one of the greatest NFL coaches in history. During his time as coach of the Green Bay Packers, his team won five national championships.

In addition to his amazing coaching record, Lombardi is also known for his words of wisdom and insights. It’s not unusual to hear someone quote one of the inspirational quips that he used to motivate his players. And as I mentioned, I happened upon one of these quotes the other day. It went as follows:

“Fatigue makes cowards of us all.”

This statement has a great deal more wisdom to it than first meets the eye. I began to plumb its depths after pondering why he linked fatigue with cowardice. Of all the things that I would blame for cowardice, fatigue would not be one of them.

Well the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. When Lombardi spoke of fatigue, he was not simply talking about feeling sleepy or sluggish. Instead, he was talking about complete and total fatigue–not only are you physically tired, but you are mentally and emotionally drained as well. As a result of this fatigue, you have fewer resources from which to draw, and life suddenly seems more overwhelming. Activities that used to excite you now seem like drudgery, and you can’t motivate yourself to do anything with any degree of enthusiasm because you are simply too exhausted by life.

What’s more, if you’re not even that excited to do the things you enjoy, then you certainly aren’t going to be bold, risky, or adventurous. When it comes to pushing yourself, you will take the path of least resistance, the coward’s way, because that’s all you can really muster.

I don’t know if you’ve ever felt this way, but I certainly have from time to time. When I get to that point, even the idea of doing ministry, which I am passionate about, seems like more than I can handle. And suddenly, the only activity that looks appealing is sitting on my couch all day doing nothing. Or for another example, how about the times when we know we should share the Gospel with the person sitting next to us on the plane, or the person behind us in the checkout line, but we’re just too tired. We don’t feel like it, so we do nothing.

In this way, fatigue makes cowards of us all. We can’t even stand to face the normal challenges of the day, let alone the big ones.

This perspective has great implications for our understanding of the Sabbath, and why God has commanded us to rest. All along, I knew this command had something to do with taking care of yourself, but I had assumed that it was for our own sake. I had guessed that God wanted us to care for our bodies rather than burn them out because our bodies are temples. That’s about how far my thought process went.

But there’s more to it than that. The Sabbath’s importance has little to do with getting our Sunday afternoon nap. On the contrary, the Sabbath is crucial because it guards us against experiencing the kind of fatigue Lombardi described. If we are emotionally and spiritually exhausted, then it is very unlikely we will do great things for God, because we’ll barely even be able to do little things. Rather than go out into the world and evangelize with boldness and zeal, we will back down like cowards. We simply won’t have the emotional reserves to go out and preach the Gospel the way God intended.

In this way, resting on the Sabbath is not merely about getting enough sleep–it’s about protecting ourselves from a fatigue that cripples us, a fatigue that makes cowards of us all. So if you are not getting enough rest, and if you’re not taking good care of yourself, then there is more at risk than you think. Most likely, the more tired you get, the less you can pour into ministry, so you are not the only one who is affected by your tiredness. In the same way that a tired player may not adequately protect his teammates, or he may back down during crucial plays, fatigued Christians will do the same, and their fellow saints will suffer for it.

Maintaining the Sabbath is therefore an important part of your role in the Body of Christ–when one of us is fatigued to the point of cowardice, then we are all impacted by it. For this reason we must obey God’s command to honor the Sabbath, because the Church herself is affected when we don’t. So get some sleep, eat healthy, and make time for yourself. The more rested you are, the mightier you will fight, whether on a football field or on the spiritual battlefield.

Vince knew what he was talking about.

I am blessed to have a friend in my life who is not inhibited by social graces like tact. If I ever need an opinion, I can depend on him to speak hard truth into my life, generally in the most blunt form possible. Fortunately, he is almost always dead-on in his observations, which is why I go back to him again and again, regardless of the form in which his wisdom is dispensed.

For example, he recently introduced me to a term that I have since found to be both descriptive and extremely accurate. The term is “girlfriend place-holder.” According to my friend, a lot of guys will have a female friend in their life that virtually functions as a girlfriend in every way–they talk a lot, spend a great deal of one-on-one time together, even go on pseudo-dates and act flirtatious. For all intents and purposes it would seem that the guy is interested, yet he never actually wants to commit. In fact, he never even broaches the topic of dating.

Why? Because, as my friend describes it, this girl is serving as a “girlfriend place-holder.” Though probably doing so unintentionally, some guys will keep a female friend around to hold the place of a girlfriend. In a sense, they are filling their time until they meet the girl they *really* want to date.

As my friend explained it, we all want companionship in some form or another, so even if we haven’t met Mr. or Mrs. Right just yet, many of us will find someone to meet those desires until the “real thing” comes along. And guys aren’t the only ones guilty of doing this. Girls do it just as much. Ladies, I’m sure you can think back to someone in your past, if not someone RIGHT NOW, who is serving as a boyfriend place-holder for you. He’s great because he’ll pay for things when you go out, and he’s always available if you’re bored, but you have absolutely no intention of dating him.

What is interesting about this form of guy-girl relationship is that it is deceptively intimate. Unlike blatant serial flirting in which you can easily spot the players you need to avoid, place-holding seems more real and more deep. After all, it is based upon an actual friendship, so there is more to it than simply having fun. And that is what often keeps the “place-holders” hanging on so long–because there is depth to the relationship, they hold out hope that sooner or later the guy or girl will snap out of it: “One of these days he’s going to wake up and realize what a good thing he has right in front of him.” That sort of thing. In this way, these relationships can actually result in far greater emotional damage than shallower versions of its kind. Place-holders will more easily open up and make themselves vulnerable since they feel they can trust the other person.

This ultimately leaves the “place-holder” feeling confused and hurt, and sometimes devastated. I have a number of girl friends right now who are in this exact situation. They have a close guy friend that they spend a great deal of time with, but he just won’t commit. In fact, he won’t even bring up any sort of conversation relating to the romantic nature of their relationship. Perhaps the guy is simply afraid of commitment, but in many cases, as my guy friend explains it, these guys have no intention of dating at all. They are unintentionally using these young women as girlfriend place-holders.

Now I think it’s pretty obvious that this kind of relationship is not honoring to the “place-holder” involved, so if you can think of someone in your life who plays that role, then you should seriously consider cutting it off. Even if you are both using each other, and neither person necessarily has the upper hand, you are still not treating them as the brother and sister in Christ that they are. And more importantly, if you think a guy or girl might be treating YOU as a place-holder, then get out of that relationship, and fast! That is NOT how God intended you to be treated–you are to be loved and desired extravagantly, so anyone who makes you feel inadequate or unworthy of love is falling way short of that mark.

In addition to all that, if you have a friend who is treating someone as a place-holder, call them out! Guys, don’t let your friends treat girls that way–if you look the other way when your friends do this, then you are no better than they are since you clearly don’t respect your sister enough to stand up for her. And ladies, the same goes for you. No guy deserves to be strung along, so hold your friends accountable on their behalf.

And finally, don’t forget to reflect on why it is you need a place-holder in the first place. God is always sufficient, so if He hasn’t provided you with a spouse yet, He is still more than enough for you to be content. At the end of the day, that is the key issue here, so be sure not to cover it up with a girlfriend or boyfriend place-holder. Place-holding is little more than the symptom of a dissatisfied heart.

Pop quiz: Without looking it up, do you know what the third commandment of the Ten Commandments is?

It can be found in Exodus 20:7, and it reads as follows: “You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain.”

Taking the Lord’s name in vain. I haven’t heard a sermon on that topic in quite some time. It’s one of those commandments that we rarely talk about anymore. As a child, I was instructed to never use the Lord’s name in vain under threat of severe punishment, but ever since the age of six, I haven’t heard much about it.

And it shows. Recently I have noticed an increasing number of people using the phrase “Oh my God!” in casual conversation. In fact, people I really look up to, ministers and leaders, have gotten in the habit of using it. Perhaps because of the way I was raised, it still jars me every time someone says it. I would almost rather hear someone curse than speak of God in that context. It truly shocks me every time.

Now compared to some sins, this may seem like a minor one, so why am I making such a big deal about it? Well the first reason is that I hate hearing it, and I want people to stop saying it around me because it really bothers me, so I figured this would be an effective platform. But more importantly, it displays a blatant disregard for the holiness of God. This verse is placed amidst a passage in which God is instructing us to defend His character–we are not to cast our pearls before swine by worshiping idols, and we are to keep the Sabbath holy in order to reflect the nature of God’s work, and the holiness with which He blessed the Sabbath. That is the context of this commandment about the Lord’s name.

Because the second and forth commandments are about guarding the divine integrity of God, we can safely conclude that the third is intended to do the same. We should not take God’s name in vain–meaning we should not speak sloppily or casually about God, or call on His name when we don’t really mean it–because He is an awesome God, a holy God, a fearful God, and we should address Him as such. We should not belittle Him by throwing His name into random conversations simply for effect.

And just because you don’t use the exact phrase “Oh my God” doesn’t mean you are fulfilling the commandment. It’s also pretty common to add phrases such as “Praise the Lord” onto any and every story or piece of good news. While this phrase can be edifying when applied to legitimate moments of blessing, we should be careful about using it all the time because it can indicate spiritual carelessness or shallow theology…

“My favorite basketball team won the game…praise the Lord!”

“I got a parking space…praise the Lord!”

“Those shoes I love are on sale in my size…praise the Lord!”

It’s not that I have anything against giving thanks to God in all situations, but I think we often make such statements to simply fill conversational space. We use the phrase “Praise the Lord” even though we’re not truly thinking about what we’re saying…we’re just saying it for emphasis, or because we can’t think of anything else to say. What’s more, such thoughtlessness can fail to consider whether or not the “blessings” for which we are praising God are actually from the Lord. Maybe God doesn’t want you to have that pair of shoes because it will feed your sin of materialism. And maybe you stole that parking space from a little old lady who needed it more than you but you were too focused on getting it for yourself. Who knows!

That is not to say that we should never use the phrase “Praise the Lord” or even “Oh my God”–there are times when both uses are appropriate. BUT, we need to think about what we say before we say it. As with all our words and our actions, we should make sure that they reflect the character of God, that they honor Him and speak truth about who He is. This is the Creator of Heaven and Earth that we’re talking about, so He is worthy of being treated, and talked about, as such.