By now you’ve probably noticed that I have been thinking about modesty a lot lately. I wrote a post for Her.meneutics last month and then I wrote another post on this blog, both of which contain some critiques against the current conceptions of modesty.

My reflections on the topic have been motivated by two key ideas: First, God created the female body as good and beautiful, so our language about the female body (and modesty) should be consistent with that theological tenet. Second, modesty is not just a female issue. It is relevant to men and women alike, young and old. And just because you cover your body does not mean you are a modest person.

Although I believe that standards of bodily modesty are somewhat relative to the culture, that does not mean we should ignore those standards altogether. Paul encouraged both men and women to respect the cultural mores of their contexts, to the extent that they did not undermine their credibility in proclaiming the gospel. Given that Scriptural precedent and the sinful temptation to exploit our own bodies for selfish ambition, there are times when Christian women DO dress immodestly and we do need to talk about it. But how we conduct that conversation is a different matter.

Over the weekend I spoke with a friend who was embarrassed after some of her pastors’ wives objected to a dress she wore to church. It was a dress she had worn numerous times before, and with her husband’s (also a pastor) blessing, so she felt a bit blind-sided by the criticism. Not only did she feel the dress was appropriate, but she wasn’t given a reason why she shouldn’t wear it–other than the fact that it was “too short.”

Now when you think about it, “too short” is not really a reason. Although we probably understand the subtext of the objection, we need to move away from such blanket condemnations that risk communicating something unbiblical. We need to get to the reason behind the reason. Why is “too short” a problem? Is it because women’s bodies do not belong in church? Is it because a woman’s body is inherently tempting to men and should always be hidden? Is it because we are making assumptions about the intentions of a woman who wears such a dress? Or is there something more?

As I have written about before, modesty is about more than dress. It is about an orientation of the heart. The word modesty itself means “free from conceit or vanity,” so it is an other-oriented posture. The modest person is oriented first toward the glory of God and second toward the love of neighbor. Personal glory is last.

While it is difficult to know whether a man or woman has God in mind as they select their outfit, I think that love of neighbor is a more helpful category for discussing modesty in dress. By this I am not only referring to the edification of our brothers in Christ who struggle with lust, but the less frequently discussed ministry we have to women. There are times when a short dress might be a stumbling block for women also, and that is a valid consideration for women in leadership.

For a lot of women, their body is a source of power. It is how they command attention or feel noticed. And for that reason, some women are willing to objectify themselves to get that attention. Exposing their bodies is not about celebrating the image of God in themselves, but their own glory. And this misguided motivation is further encouraged when visible female leaders play the same game.

For both leaders and non-leaders alike, the female body can be a false idol for women. We spend countless hours and dollars keeping ourselves trim and pretty and presentable for others, sometimes spending more time serving ourselves than we do God. In this way, women can become enslaved to their own bodies. And while it is difficult to know whether a specific woman is in bondage to this type of idol (and we should be VERY careful before making such an assumption), we can think carefully about our own role in addressing this larger problem.

Modesty in dress, home, or lifestyle is about the primacy of God’s glory, but it is also a loving witness to those around you. Modesty is the discarding of self-styled idols that have captured our culture and our Christian communities. When a kind of idolatrous vanity has entrenched itself in your community, the most loving thing you can do is to live modestly in response.

William Wilberforce once wrote, “When blessed with wealth, let them withdraw from the competition of vanity and be modest, retiring from ostentation, and not be the slaves of fashion.” I encourage you to consider the most troubling “competitions of vanity” in your church community. Is it bodily exposure, is it having a nice home, or the illusion of a perfect family? Is it self-righteousness masquerading as holiness?

Whatever the idol, modesty is one means of envisioning a different way. When your weaker sisters are captured by the idol of materialism or sexual objectification, you have the opportunity to either encourage their behavior or exemplify a godly alternative, and modesty is one avenue for doing so. In this way, I see modesty not as a trump card for holding women accountable to arbitrary standards about dress, but as a self-giving ministry to others. It asks not what your sister should be doing differently, but how you can better love and build up your sister with your own example.

These last 2 weeks have been significant for me as a writer. In case you didn’t hear, I wrote a post for Her.meneutics on modesty called “How ‘Modest is Hottest’ is Hurting Christian Women” (I did not come up with that title, by the way), and it has received a lot of attention. Very rapidly, it became the most read post of 2011 and the feedback has ranged between anger and “Amens.”

Whenever I write for Her.meneutics, I am limited to a word count of 1,000 words which means I don’t have room to write everything I would like. Additionally, some issues arose in the comments section of the post that were not fully addressed in the piece, so I thought I’d share a few closing thoughts here.

First, when it comes to blogging and writing publicly there is one thing you should know about me: I don’t like criticizing specific people or ministries. Even when done respectfully, there is an element to this one-sided format that seems a little unfair and is most likely hurtful to the person being criticized, so I avoid doing it as often as possible. However, writing for Her.meneutics has taught me that I cannot make blanket statements about “Christians” without giving specifics. It’s just not good writing. That is why my editor asked me to be a bit more specific about which Christian leaders have endorsed this phrase, which I did as delicately as I could.

Whenever I do air a public disagreement with another Christian(s), I try to be loving and respectful. I pray for them, and I pray that they will receive my words in the spirit that I wrote them. Even so, there is a time for disagreement, and this was one of those times. A number of the commenters felt that I was attacking the women who endorse the phrase “modest is hottest” and not giving credit for the work they are doing. That was not at all the tone I hoped to strike. Christians should be able to disagree with one another as long as the disagreement is done in spirit of Christ. Whether or not I was successful in doing so is up for debate, but at least you know it was my intent.

Returning to the issue of modesty itself, my article was motivated by one primary issue: God created the female body, the female body is good, and our language and treatment of the female body should reflect that truth. It frequently does not. I think I made that point clear in my article, but there is one final point I would like to make here. It concerns the basic definition of modesty.

Merriam-Webster defines modesty the following way:

• Freedom from conceit or vanity
• Propriety in dress, speech, or conduct

As much as Christian modesty is traditionally given to women to uphold, this definition clearly has implications for both men and women. I particularly love the first definition because it provides us with a great standard against which to measure our ideas about modesty. A Christian woman might cover her body from head to toe but that does not guarantee she is “free from conceit or vanity.” In fact, some of the “modest is hottest” ideology helps women to be “modest” without having to sacrifice their vanity.

In 1 Timothy 2:9 Paul instructs women to “adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.” Notice that there is nothing here about covering one’s cleavage, though it is possibly implied. Instead, the emphasis is on vanity. Paul is concerned with our priorities, what we consider most beautiful and highly valued, and what brings us glory. Is it our outward adornments, our wealth, our bodies, our successes, or is it a life lived in submission to God?

I would love to reclaim that definition of modesty, one that both men and women can strive after. It is a definition that reveals the current hypocrisy in teachings about modesty and orients us rightly toward God. It is a more difficult goal that goes beyond legalistic appearances in favor of spiritual transformation. But it is the kind of modesty we should teach Christians. It is the kind of modesty I desperately need the grace of God to embody. It is a modesty free of pride and free of vanity. Let us strive for that.

This week I start a new class and my life is about to get super hectic, so I thought I would re-post a blog I wrote a couple years ago (before I was married, as you will notice) that is admittedly one of my favorites. Let me know what you think!

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Every Fall, the North Carolina State Fair comes to Raleigh, North Carolina for about a week and a half, and every year I go to the Fair to do the following:

1. Look at all the mullets

2. Eat lethal amounts of fried food.

3. Hunt for a baby pig.

While the first two are fairly self-explanatory, let me explain the last one.

At the State Fair there is a giant compound that houses all the award-winning livestock for that year. As a part of the Fair, attendees can go inside to look at the cows, goats, sheep, etc. but you cannot touch them. Ordinarily, this rule would not be a problem for me, except that one of those pens contains an entire litter of baby pigs. And they are by far the CUTEST thing you’ve ever seen.

Unfortunately, you can’t get anywhere near enough to touch them. You just have to stare at them from afar, only wishing you could crawl in there and hold them. I seriously wanted to kidnap one of those adorable baby pigs. I was so smitten with them that I literally talked about it all year long.

Lucky for me, I am getting married to a man whose father used to be in charge of the State Fair livestock, so he has “connections.” (And no, that is not why I’m marrying him) Early on in our relationship I explained to him my life-long desire to pet and hold a baby pig, maybe even adopt one as a pet, and he told me he could work something out.

When the State Fair rolled around the following year, Ike called in a favor, and one night after the Fair closed we got to go inside the pig pen. Finally, after years of waiting, pining, I got to hold a baby pig.

Tragically, it was not the experience I thought it would be. Looking at a baby pig, you’d think they’d be soft and squishy and cuddly–kind of like a pink puppy. But they’re not. Their hair is coarse, their skin is rough, and the pig I held screamed the entire time like I was murdering it. I felt like one of those mortified mothers whose kid has a meltdown in the grocery store.

After that experience I was pretty disillusioned with the baby pigs. It was a major let down after years of build up.

Now even though my long journey ended in disappointment, I share this story because it actually helped me to better understand a passage of Scripture that I’d always been familiar with. Proverbs 11:22 reads–

Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.

As a result of my experience at the State Fair, I have learned one very important thing–no matter how old they are, pigs are nasty. The babies may look cute if you’re standing far away, but if you get close enough to touch them, you’ll see that they’re just mini versions of their mothers–mean, moody, and dirty. They also get obscenely large.

So while a gold ring might be a stunning piece of jewelry, its beauty is lost when placed in the snout of a pig. No matter how exquisite, there is no ring that can over-compensate for the hulking mass behind it. It’s just a tiny, shiny ring on a giant, dirty pig.

This is the visual we are meant to imagine when we read Proverbs 11:22. The beauty of the ring is completely overshadowed by the pig that dons it, and it is the same in a beautiful woman without discretion.

If you look up the definition of “discretion,” you will find the following synonyms: discernment, maturity, wisdom, thoughtfulness, prudence, and care. These all describe the kind of character that honors God, and honors those around her.

With that in mind, a woman could be a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, but if she’s got a sailor’s mouth, she manipulates people with her body , and she throws a fit when she doesn’t get her way, then her beauty immediately pales. Her looks cannot make up for her personality.

Now given the way our culture emphasizes beauty, this may seem hard to believe. After all, beautiful women are allowed to get away with a lot more bad behavior than their “less attractive” counterparts. Is this verse really true?

The answer is an emphatic “yes!” A woman’s beauty might open some doors for her, but it is her character that will be her ultimate success. Beauty may attract a man, but faithfulness and respect is what will enable her dating relationships, and ultimately marriage, to last. Beauty may get her a job opportunity, but her work ethic will allow her to keep it, if not excel. Beauty may give her attention and friends, but it is her trustworthiness that will determine whether they stick around.

When a woman looks back on her life and measures the successes of her beauty, versus the successes of her character, she will find that her character made all the difference. It determines whether or not those blessings will be lasting. And when measured this way, it becomes more clear that the beauty of a woman without discretion does little more for her life than a ring on the tip of a pig’s nose. Both adornments are ultimately fruitless.

I never thought I would see the day when modesty, of all things, was the target of religious persecution. Well that day has come. In case you haven’t been following this story, France is in the process of passing a law that would forbid Muslim women from wearing a burqa, which covers the face. The ban was just approved by the lower house of parliament by a HUGE majority (335 to 1). According to an article on CNN, the penalty for violating this law could be a fine of 150 euros, although forcing a women to wear a veil could be punishable by a year in prison or 15,000 euros (the equivalent of about $19,000).

Why such a harsh punishment? According to the French government, the wearing of Muslim veils is “a new form of enslavement that the republic cannot accept on its soil,” adding, “this practice, even if it is voluntary, cannot be tolerated in any public place.”

And the government is clearly a reflection of the people. According to the Pew Global Attitudes Project, the French people support the ban by a margin of more than four to one, with around 82% in favor and only 17% opposed.

Let me be clear. I do NOT support the forcing of women to cover their faces, hair, wrists, etc. as a form of oppression or coerced modesty. I fully and totally oppose such a practice. But having said that, I do not support this ban. In fact I whole-heartedly oppose it, and let me tell you why. This law is nothing other than the symptom of a Western culture for whom the concept of modesty has become completely incomprehensible.

Several years ago I spent some time in Indonesia helping to rebuild after the tsunami, and during that time I got to know a number of teenage girls there. Indonesia is a Muslim country and the area in which I was working was particularly conservative, so the women wore veils over their hair at all times. In such extreme heat, I asked the girls if they ever wished they could remove the veil. It would certainly be much cooler without it! In response to my question they looked at me with shocked faces and said, “Oh no! To wear the veil is much more beautiful!”

To these women, the idea of saving their most prized features for their husband was a beautiful act. It was something they chose to do. And for many Muslim women today, that is also the case. Before meeting these young ladies, I used to see women wearing burqas and feel sad for them, thinking how oppressed they must be. And for some Muslim women, that is the case. But not all. Some delight to wear it. Though we cannot visibly discern the difference between those doing it for legalistic reasons and those doing it out of a sincere desire to be modest, the difference is certainly there. And the French just steamrolled right over it.

In fighting religious oppression, France has become the oppressor. Yet as I mentioned above, France reflects a larger cultural tide in which modesty is a totally foreign concept. It is now considered a form of empowerment to show as much of your body as possible, which means that anyone who chooses not to expose themselves must be oppressed, either overtly or because of some weird religious hang-ups. Our culture no longer treasures modesty as a kind of beauty unto itself.

What does that mean for us here in the States? Well it means that as much as I disagree with France’s ban, the cultural shift also presents us with an opportunity. Modesty is truly becoming a means to set ourselves apart. The Bible reminds us that we are not the first culture to have this opportunity–Paul urged women to cover their heads in Corinth as a means for setting themselves apart from the culture then. Today we have a similar occasion, and it is one we should seize with zeal.

So often we think of modesty in terms of rules and “what can I get away with,” but the law in France reminds us that modesty is about a clash in worldviews. We are strangers in a foreign land that has completely different priorities from us. The world does not understand sexual purity or saving yourself for marriage, nor does it understand treating your body as a temple or reflecting God’s holiness with your life. Modesty may invite persecution, but hopefully it will also invite conversation. The question is, do you dress in a way that differentiates you from the world? That is a question I am very much challenged by.

On the news this week I heard about a young woman who urged women to show off their cleavage on April 27th. She began this movement in protest against a Muslim leader who blamed natural disasters on female immodesty. The satirical aim of this gesture was to “test” his theory and see if the mass exposure of cleavage would have consequences. Ironically, there actually was an earthquake that day in Taiwan. A 6.9 in fact. Go figure.

Below I am posting Mary Kassian’s response to this whole scenario. Mary’s blog is one that I really enjoy reading, and I can always count on her to offer a helpful and balanced perspective. So without further ado, I present to you “Boobquake:”

An Islamic cleric recently blamed earthquakes on immodest female clothing. He told the media, “Many women who dress inappropriately … cause youths to go astray, taint their chastity and incite extramarital sex in society, which increases earthquakes …”

Outraged by this statement, Jennifer McCreight, a 22-year-old student at Purdue University in Indiana, invited women to collectively bare their breast cleavage today–April 27. She claimed that this would scientifically test the cleric’s theory. McCreight, who calls herself “a liberal, geeky, nerdy, scientific, perverted atheist feminist,” mockingly encouraged women to “embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts” by dressing immodestly. “With the power of our scandalous bodies combined, we should surely produce an earthquake.”

With the help of Facebook and Twitter, word of the event, dubbed “Boobquake,” travelled like wildfire across the internet, and within 24 hours had recruited tens of thousands of supporters and garnished international media attention. But as the morning of the event dawned, and women around the world began to bare their cleavage, a strong earthquake measuring 6.9 on the Richter scale struck southeast of Taiwan.

The earth averages more than a million earthquakes each year. Only about 135 reach the magnitude of the one in Taiwan this morning. The phenomenon of the earthquake coinciding with the Boobquake event could be interpreted either way. The Islamic cleric will no doubt use it as proof that that the seductive behavior of females leads to natural disasters, and that Allah has endorsed the cleric as his spokesman. The cleric will insist that the Islamic law enforcing the Hijab be strictly enforced– that females be forced to cover all parts of their body except hands and face, or be subject to punishment of up to seventy lashes or sixty days imprisonment—or even worse.

On the other end of the spectrum, a scantily clad McCreight predictably brushed off the earthquake as statistically insignificant. Following the disaster she wrote, “If we get many of a similar magnitude in the next 24 hours, then we might start worshipping the power of immodesty.” In any case, since McCreight is an atheist, she denies that God has anything to do with earthquakes, and since she is a feminist, she maintains that women have the right to do whatever they want–even if it does cause a disaster. Women have the right to make the rules. They can dress immodestly and be as seductive and promiscuous as they want – it’s their own business. She said,“If men ogle, that’s the fault of the men, not me for dressing how I like. If I want to a show a little cleavage or joke about my boobs, that’s my prerogative.”

The whole discussion leaves me shaking my head. On the one hand, you have an Islamic male suggesting that immodest women are to blame for natural disasters and for causing men to sin. On the other, you have a feminist female suggesting that there are no natural consequences of women dressing immodestly and seductively—men are the ones with the problem. The former supports the oppression of women, while the latter supports woman’s unbridled right to be immodest, or even immoral if she so pleases.

It never ceases to amaze me that the assault on the biblical pattern for womanhood comes from multiple angles, and must be fought on many fronts. We must combat the idea that it’s man’s prerogative to define womanhood—that women are somehow inferior, and can be demeaned, degraded, assaulted, or abused. We must also combat the idea that it’s woman’s prerogative to define womanhood—that men are somehow inferior—that men are the oppressors and women are above reproach. Furthermore, we must combat the idea of an egalitarian gender-neutral or gender-fluid type of existence. None of these conform to the biblical pattern.

Boobquake is the foolishness of an arrogant man compounded by the foolishness of an arrogant woman.. and the foolishness of all who follow their lead. According to the Bible, it’s God’s prerogative—not man’s and not woman’s – to define who we are and how we ought to live.

© Mary A. Kassian, Girls Gone Wise. Visit Mary’s Website at: GirlsGoneWise.com

I tried not to quote Mary Kassian twice in one week, but I can’t help myself. If you haven’t heard of her, she’s got an awesome blog, and she’s an incredible writer. She’s also a gifted academic, a seminary professor publishing numerous books and Bible studies. She possesses a great balance of intellect and spiritual passion. Definitely a woman I look up to.

Below is an article she wrote a few months ago that hit me square between the eyes when I read it this week. VERY convicting. Also very tough to read. I think you will be challenged by it.

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She’s an assertive, self-assured woman, and she’s perfected the subtle art of attracting men. She knows how to flirt with her eyes, seductively tilt her head, and position her body in a provocative way. She’s a classy dresser who chooses her wardrobe carefully – curve-hugging clothes that reveal just the right amount of skin. Tempting, but not distasteful. High heels are a must. Especially with those tight designer jeans.

Her closet needs constant replenishment. Clothes, jackets, shoes, jewelry, accessories, handbags. And she doesn’t neglect her beauty regime. Make-up, manicured nails, styled & highlighted hair, tanned skin, whitened teeth… creams, lotions, perfumes. Magazines keep her up to date with the latest advice on interacting with men. She’s become an expert at playful banter and innuendo. She goes to church and Bible Study, but her commitment to God is superficial. Her deepest desire is to be sexy, powerful, and alluring.

Who is this woman? You might be surprised to learn that the description (with a few minor fashion updates) comes from the pages of Isaiah. And it may surprise you even more to learn that her behavior was so reprehensible to God, that he punished her and her like-minded girlfriends:

The Lord said: “Because the daughters of Zion are haughty and walk with outstretched necks, glancing wantonly with their eyes, mincing along as they go, tinkling with their feet, therefore the Lord will strike with a scab the heads of the daughters of Zion, and the Lord will lay bare their secret parts. In that day the Lord will take away the finery of the anklets, the headbands, and the crescents; the pendants, the bracelets, and the scarves; the headdresses, the armlets, the sashes, the perfume boxes, and the amulets; the signet rings and nose rings; the festal robes, the mantles, the cloaks, and the handbags; the mirrors, the linen garments, the turbans, and the veils. Instead of perfume there will be rottenness; and instead of a belt, a rope; and instead of well-set hair, baldness; and instead of a rich robe, a skirt of sackcloth; and branding instead of beauty… Empty, she shall sit on the ground.” Isaiah 3:16-24,26 (ESV)

The women living in Jerusalem were pre-occupied with personal appearance and were immodest and flirtatious. They had little concern for God’s law or for their holy mission in life. According to the prophet Isaiah, this attitude and behavior was very sinful and offensive.

The prophet warned that the women’s self-centered, attention-seeking sexuality would lead to disaster. Because they had neglected the most important aspect of womanhood – the beauty of a holy heart – God would strip them of everything else they had relied on for self-identity. He would take away their finery, “lay bare their secret parts,” and let them experience “branding instead of beauty.”

The women didn’t repent. So as predicted, the Assyrians and Babylonians invaded and decimated Jerusalem. The women lost everything they had relied on for beauty and self-identity. “Empty, they sat on the ground.”

Wow. I don’t know about you, but for me this story is a reality check. There’s nothing inherently wrong with trying to look beautiful. God created beauty. He delights in it. But the problem arises when we only pay attention to our external beauty, and neglect what’s on the inside. And, when we use our beauty to seductively attract men, rather than honor and glorify God, the lover and redeemer of our souls. The question I need to wrestle with is this: If my finery were taken away, and the hidden, inner parts of my heart exposed, would I look more or less beautiful? How much beauty is in my heart? Would I be “empty” like those women in Jerusalem, or would my inner beauty spill over and shine more attractively than my outer beauty did?

It’s been a couple months now since the controversy surrounding Carrie Prejean first blew up. Since then Prejean abdicated her Miss California throne and has been touring the Christian speaking circuit supporting traditional marriage and Christian values. I just watched a video of her appearance at Liberty University, and in it she is considerably more composed and articulate than she has typically been portrayed. You can check it out for yourself here.

Although Prejean’s interview was well-done and uplifting, I couldn’t help but get hung up on something. Over and over again the interviewers commended her unwillingness to compromise and her boldness to stand for Christ. Prejean herself challenged the students at Liberty to do the same. Yet every time she and Liberty’s chancellor discussed her strength under pressure and the importance of personal holiness in a worldly culture, one image kept flashing into my mind: The swimsuit competition.

I don’t know what Liberty’s dress code is, but I would be willing to bet they frown on women donning string bikinis, let alone parading around in one before millions of viewers on television. In fact, most church youth groups won’t even let their girls wear a two-piece bathing suit to camp.

But before jumping to any conclusions, I decided to do a little research. I found that Prejean did wear a skimpy bikini in the contest, but she was not the first professing Christian to do so. Last week the latest Miss America appeared on the 700 Club with evangelical Pat Robertson, and she talked about her faith in Christ and and the central role it played in her life. When I googled her name, a picture of her in a tiny black, barely there bikini popped up.

I tried finding photos of contestants wearing one-piece bathing suits in these competitions, but they were few and far between. In the process of searching I actually discovered that it was in the mid-90′s when the Miss America Pageant began encouraging participants to wear two-pieces instead of one. The organization highlighted the skimpier and less inhibited bathing suits in its promotions in order to boost ratings.

While I am not morally opposed to two-piece bathing suits (I own a few myself) I am bothered by 2 things about the nature of these competitions:

1. The Display Factor–these women aren’t just wearing the suits because they’re comfortable or to get a good tan, but to show off their nearly naked bodies to a watching audience. Displaying one’s body is the sole purpose of the swimwear.

2. The Face Factor–While there is some emphasis on personality, intelligence, and philanthropy, you don’t exactly see a lot of chubby girls up there. Try as they might to convince us otherwise, we all know that at the end of the day, a woman will not become Miss America on the basis of a great personality if she’s got a little junk in her trunk. That said, the pageant compares women on some characteristics that hold little value in God’s economy. In a culture of womanhood that is already so competitive, should we really be encouraging women to willingly subject themselves to it?

But what really concerns me more than anything else is the way Christian media outlets seem to eat this stuff up. In addition to Liberty’s broadcast, Prejean appeared on Focus on the Family and presented an award at the Dove Awards. Is that really wise? While some of these women do profess Christ in public and that is a good thing, does being pretty, Christian and famous automatically qualify someone as a role model for young Christian women? Even the young lady on the 700 Club admitted that she rarely goes to church because of her busy schedule. As a member of the Body of Christ, that is a significant problem, yet Pat Robertson nodded along with a sympathetic look that conveyed, “I totally understand.”

It may not be clear from my tone, but I do feel torn on this issue. After all, we need Christians EVERYWHERE–we need believers in the workplace, the government, Hollywood, etc. so that we can be salt and light to the world around us. But that doesn’t mean women should become strippers for the sake of reaching other strippers. The Miss America Pageant is not nearly that extreme, but it is a point worth considering.  Is it possible for a Christian woman to participate in a competition that compares her with others on the basis of their looks, shed their modesty as they stand before millions in a tiny bikini, and still be uncompromisingly faithful to God?

I’m not going to give an answer to that question, but I do know this–conservative evangelical institutions that are loud about modesty and personal holiness might pick their spokespeople wisely. Fame and visibility are the kind of qualifiers that will later come back to bite you.

Every Fall, the North Carolina State Fair comes to Raleigh, North Carolina for about a week and a half, and every year I go to the Fair to do the following:

1. Look at all the mullets

2. Eat lethal amounts of fried food.

3. Hunt for a baby pig.

While the first two are fairly self-explanatory, let me explain the last one.

At the State Fair there is a giant compound that houses all the award-winning livestock for that year. As a part of the Fair, attendees can go inside to look at the cows, goats, sheep, etc. but you cannot touch them. Ordinarily, this rule would not be a problem for me, except that one of those pens contains an entire litter of baby pigs. And they are by far the CUTEST thing you’ve ever seen.

Unfortunately, you can’t get anywhere near enough to touch them. You just have to stare at them from afar, only wishing you could crawl in there and hold them. I seriously wanted to kidnap one of those adorable baby pigs. I was so smitten with them that I literally talked about it all year long.

Lucky for me, I am getting married to a man whose father used to be in charge of the State Fair livestock, so he has “connections.” (And no, that is not why I’m marrying him) Early on in our relationship I explained to him my life-long desire to pet and hold a baby pig, maybe even adopt one as a pet, and he told me he could work something out.

When the State Fair rolled around the following year, Ike called in a favor, and one night after the Fair closed we got to go inside the pig pen. Finally, after years of waiting, pining, I got to hold a baby pig.

Tragically, it was not the experience I thought it would be. Looking at a baby pig, you’d think they’d be soft and squishy and cuddly–kind of like a pink puppy. But they’re not. Their hair is coarse, their skin is rough, and the pig I held screamed the entire time like I was murdering it. I felt like one of those mortified mothers whose kid has a meltdown in the grocery store.

After that experience I was pretty disillusioned with the baby pigs. It was a major let down after years of build up.

Now even though my long journey ended in disappointment, I share this story because it actually helped me to better understand a passage of Scripture that I’d always been familiar with. Proverbs 11:22 reads–

Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.

As a result of my experience at the State Fair, I have learned one very important thing–no matter how old they are, pigs are nasty. The babies may look cute if you’re standing far away, but if you get close enough to touch them, you’ll see that they’re just mini versions of their mothers–mean, moody, and dirty. They also get obscenely large.

So while a gold ring might be a stunning piece of jewelry, its beauty is lost when placed in the snout of a pig. No matter how exquisite, there is no ring that can over-compensate for the hulking mass behind it. It’s just a tiny, shiny ring on a giant, dirty pig.

This is the visual we are meant to imagine when we read Proverbs 11:22. The beauty of the ring is completely overshadowed by the pig that dons it, and it is the same in a beautiful woman without discretion.

If you look up the definition of “discretion,” you will find the following synonyms: discernment, maturity, wisdom, thoughtfulness, prudence, and care. These all describe the kind of character that honors God, and honors those around her.

With that in mind, a woman could be a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, but if she’s got a sailor’s mouth, she manipulates people with her body , and she throws a fit when she doesn’t get her way, then her beauty immediately pales. Her looks cannot make up for her personality.

Now given the way our culture emphasizes beauty, this may seem hard to believe. After all, beautiful women are allowed to get away with a lot more bad behavior than their “less attractive” counterparts. Is this verse really true?

The answer is an emphatic “yes!” A woman’s beauty might open some doors for her, but it is her character that will be her ultimate success. Beauty may attract a man, but faithfulness and respect is what will enable her dating relationships, and ultimately marriage, to last. Beauty may get her a job opportunity, but her work ethic will allow her to keep it, if not excel. Beauty may give her attention and friends, but it is her trustworthiness that will determine whether they stick around.

When a woman looks back on her life and measures the successes of her beauty, versus the successes of her character, she will find that her character made all the difference. It determines whether or not those blessings will be lasting. And when measured this way, it becomes more clear that the beauty of a woman without discretion does little more for her life than a ring on the tip of a pig’s nose. Both adornments are ultimately fruitless.

Several years ago my dad, who has extensive professional experience working with and researching on the stock market, told me the weirdest thing:

Studies have shown that modesty is cyclical in direct correlation to the economy. When the economy is doing well, the modesty of women’s fashion declines. When the economy is doing poorly, modesty arises.

For the longest time I was completely mystified by this. What on earth would the economy have to do with women’s fashion?

Now that our country is facing harder economic times, I’m beginning to understand the dynamics behind such a phenomenon. As more and more people lose their jobs and our financial outlook becomes more uncertain, people are exercising a lot more self-control than they used to. We’re starting to watch where our money goes, we’re cutting back on expenses, and we’re only spending what we make, not more.

By necessity, we are reacquiring the virtues of discipline and self-control. And when these virtues become a part of your mindset, they affect more than just your money–they affect every part of your life and the way you make decisions, including the clothing you wear.

That said, the story of the recession and its correlation to modesty is less about the economy and more about our character. The way we spend our money and the way we dress are both rooted in the same place: our hearts.

Just think about it–one of the main reasons we are in a recession is due to a loss of self-control. A large percentage of Americans began spending more money than they were making, so we created an economy founded on credit and debt. Everything that we had–our possessions and our lavish lifestyles–it was all an illusion. Much of it had been acquired with money that we didn’t actually have.

To treat money that way is to be careless and reckless, but that recklessness was not limited to our finances. We’ve seen it in women’s modesty, and we’ve seen it in our country’s sexuality. Our nation has become defined by a total lack of discipline or temperance.

That is a spiritual problem, not a financial one.

Fortunately, this state of affairs may begin to change in light of our economy. Americans will be forced to think about self-control for the first time in a long while, and hopefully our country will benefit as a result. But what’s disappointing is that it took a recession to get us there. Rather than leading by example, many Christians bought into the extravagance just like every other American. Many of us have been living outside of our means, racking up our credit card bills and accumulating a lot of debt.

Until now we weren’t held accountable for such recklessness, but God uses times like these as a bullhorn into our hearts and minds: God cares about what you do with your money! Not because He’s some scrooge in the sky who doesn’t want you to have any fun, but because what you do with your money is a great indicator of the spiritual state of your heart.

If you are wise with your money and exercise discernment in its use, then you probably exercise discernment in how you spend your time, what movies you see and what internet sites you visit. If you practice self-control with your spending, then you’re probably exercising self-control in your physical relationship your boyfriend, or with your kids when you get angry. If you are generous with your money, then you’re probably generous in patience with your co-workers or your spouse.

Responsible money management is not itself the end. How we spend our money merely highlights our character. It’s only a symptom of one’s heart toward God and others.

So I encourage you to examine your spending habits over the last few years, and then examine how they have changed since the recession. If there is a significant difference, then you need to ask yourself why. The way we treat money should be the same regardless of the economy because it all belongs to God. Just because the economy is doing well does not make it somehow less God’s and more ours to spend extravagantly. We will learn this lesson in the coming years, but the real test is whether or not we remember it.

A recession will force our hand, but what we really need is a change of heart.

Last week my pastor was telling me about a comedian who was making fun of women for their naiveté about the male mind. The comedian claimed that if we really knew the thoughts that men have about women, then we would be slapping them about once a minute.

For a lot of women, the concept of lust is an abstract topic. When I see a guy running with his shirt off, I think one of two things: “Hm, he’s pretty cute,” or “He needs to put his shirt back on because no one wants to see that.” And that is the end of it.

For men, it is an entirely different matter. Yes, women have impure thoughts, but the degree to which we have them is so holey other than men that it is often hard for us to grasp. And because of this disconnect, we have frequently underestimated the importance of modesty. I know I always have.

Well that naiveté has recently come to a screeching halt. I heard a story on the radio a couple weeks ago that gave an incredibly insightful look into the male mind, so I want to share it with you here. The better we understand guys, the better we can care for them as our brothers in Christ, so while the story is a bit graphic, I think you’ll find it to be very helpful.

The story I heard was about a woman who decided to become a man. She had been a lesbian for years, but one day she realized that at her core, she was created to be a male. As a result of this epiphany, she took the medical steps necessary to change genders. One of these steps included testosterone injections, and the bulk of the story focused on the ways in which testosterone changed her/his thought life.

More specifically, the way in which this individual looked at women was profoundly altered. When reflecting on the way in which he thought about women prior to the injections, he said that he might have seen an attractive woman on the subway, and thought about how pretty she was, and how he might like to talk to her, what they might talk about, where they might go out on a date. etc. Innocent enough.

Following the injections, his thought process changed quite dramatically. The response was far more carnal and explicitly sexual. He would imagine, in detail, the nature of their sexual relationship. But even more disturbing to him was that he by no means desired to have such sexually charged thoughts. He felt like a jerk for thinking about women so erotically, but he was bombarded by the images on a constant basis, and he subsequently thought about sex all the time.

He went on to explain other ways in which his newly male thought life played out, and it was rather shocking. I won’t go into all of it here, but suffice it to say that I was blushing during some of the descriptions. Yet in spite of the graphic detail, it was striking to hear a woman recount her journey into the male mind, and it is no wonder that he was surprised by it. The way that men and women think about the opposite sex is TRULY different.

At one point during the story, he admitted that his thought life had been so tremendously altered that one of his female co-workers actually accused him of being a misogynist. Needless to say, the co-worker didn’t know that he used to be a woman, but the incident was a great indicator of how much he had changed. In becoming a man, he had to wrestle with the new thought life that ensued, and he was totally unprepared for it.

If you’re interested in hearing the entire story, you can download it here. I would highly recommend listening to the whole thing because it captures the visceral nature of his thoughts much better than I have here. It quite literally shocked me into being more modest.

In listening to this story, I felt as though my eyes had been opened to this huge difference between men and women. But more importantly, it convicted me about the importance of helping guys in this area. If this “man’s” story is any kind of reflection of the typical male struggle, then most men are going to wrestle greatly with the sin of lust, so we don’t need to be pushing them into it. Men do need to take some responsibility for their own thoughts lives, but we must not be so careless as to tempt them. Instead, we must guard our purity and pursue modesty. You may think that you look super cute in that tube top, but your guy friends might think otherwise, so honor their struggle by exercising discernment in the way you dress.

So as one sister to another, here is my parting advice: Put away the cleavage, pull up your low rise jeans, and don’t even think about wearing those microscopic shorts and skirts that look like glorified underwear. Dress like a lady, because you are a woman of God, not a piece of meat to be ogled. If the normal male mind is anything like this story described, you do NOT want to be ogled.

(And just so you know that I’m not a total Christian prude, here is a great article that just appeared in the Wall Street Journal about the effects that our casual sex culture has had on young women. Click here to read about it.)