Theology for Women

In an attempt to get as much done before my students come back from Christmas break, I have spent the last week in all-out wedding planning mode. I’ve talked to photographers, looked at countless flower arrangements and been to too many bridal shops to count.

In particular, I’ve been using the last week to figure out the bridesmaid dresses, which has been tricky given that I don’t want my bridesmaids to hate me.

But as I’ve gone from store to store, looking at bridesmaid dresses and wedding gowns galore, it got me to thinking about this whole wedding ceremony thing. More specifically, I’ve been thinking a lot about the meaning of the white dress.

Symbolically, the white dress is meant to represent the bride’s purity–she has saved herself for just this special day and now she can present herself as untouched, for her husband’s embrace alone.

Realistically, this almost never happens. One of my friends who lives with her boyfriend recently joked about wearing a silver dress at her wedding. “I’m not going to wear white,” she proclaimed. “The jig is up!”

And she’s not alone in this. In all honesty, how many of us can really wear white on our wedding days? Even for those women who maintain their virginity, it is oftentimes only by a thread. That’s hardly the symbolism behind the dress, is it?

Why, then, do we go on with this charade?

For most women, the main reason behind a white dress is the tradition of it. Plain and simple. I, however, have realized a very different but very important reason for maintaining this practice. But before I get into that thought process, let me back up a bit by setting the stage of how weddings generally go these days…

Today, the world tells us that your wedding is all about YOU. The rehearsal dinner is full of toasts about what a great couple you make, the church lobby and reception are decked with pictures of the two of you, and everyone is at your beck and call. This is YOUR day, and the focus is on you alone.

Scripturally speaking, this mentality is way off. Contrary to what the world says, your wedding day is not about you. It’s merely a reflection of a much greater love story, the romance between Christ and the Church. It is no coincidence that marriage reflects God’s relationship with us so neatly–marriage was fundamentally designed to.

That said, the aim of any wedding ceremony should be to highlight this greater truth. Everything about the day and the process leading up to it should be about the glory of God and His love for the Church. That perspective has already held me accountable in many ways, not the least of which is my understanding of the white dress.

Ultimately, the white dress is not about the purity of the bride’s lifestyle. Yes, her lifestyle is relevant, but that’s not the most relevant. Ultimately, the white dress is significant of the fact that God has made the bride pure.

The Bride is able to present herself as blameless before the Groom because the Groom laid himself down for her and cleansed her of her sin. And that purity has nothing to do with how many men she slept with before, or how unclean she might have been. All of that is behind, because Christ intervened.

Christ died to make his bride, his Church, clean. We reflect this beautiful news to the world around us when we wear white on our wedding day.

And this should be liberating news for us ladies who carry the baggage of a sullied past. If you worry about whether or not a Christian guy will marry you because of your shameful history, remember that you are no longer defined by that past. Christ has made you into a new creation, so you can still wear that white dress and you can wear it with confidence! Not based upon your own purity, but on the one who made you pure.

That does not, however, mean that the dress has no meaning for our present lifestyles. Because a wedding is a picture of the eternal Groom and His Bride, we must strive to reflect that relationship daily. Only yoke yourself with a man who will lay himself down for you and your purity, desiring to present you as blameless before God. Yes, God can redeem your mistakes, but that does not grant us the freedom to live however we want. Reflecting the relationship between Christ and the Church is more than a one-time wedding event. It is a way of life.

That is a good reminder for everyone, no matter what stage of life you find yourself in today.

I will never forget the first time I saw a documentary on the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. In case you are unfamiliar with this great defender of the faith, he lived in Germany during Hitler’s rule, and he was one of the only Christians in the entire country to resist the Nazis. In fact, he and a small band of Christians devised an assassination plot against Hitler. They were almost successful in their attempt, but the plan failed and they were all discovered. Bonhoeffer was subsequently executed.

The reason I loved the documentary so much is that it got me excited about my own faith. Bonhoeffer seemed like the equivalent of a Christian super hero–he stood firm against all odds in the face of clear evil. He fought valiantly, in the name of Christ, and he died for a noble cause.

I want to be a part of such a fight, in which the stakes are high and much is to be lost, but I lay down my life because I am a Christian, and that is my calling. I want to be remembered for standing unflinchingly against the powers of evil. I wanna be like Wonderwoman! Except the Christian version (which would probably have sleeves and knee-length shorts).

And I know that I’m not alone in feeling this way. Many women read about the lives of Jim Eliot, Martin Luther King, or women like Perpetua (who I wrote about last month), Christians who all fought and died for the sake of the Gospel. We read about these individuals, and it stirs something deep within us.

It stirs our inner warrior, that part of us that knows we were created to fight mighty battles on behalf of Christ. We are reminded of what our soul has known all along–that our calling is high and the struggle is great, but we will not have lived if we did not wage this war. We want to rise up and be women of valor, to live and die for something bigger than ourselves.

This desire, this calling, is written on the very foundation of my heart. And I know it is written on yours as well.

But what has become of this call to arms? Are we content to experience the fleeting exhilaration of a good sermon or an inspiring story, and then go back to our mediocre lives, never truly tasting greatness?

I think we are. We have become content to settle, and I see this in the way women talk about church leadership. When we discuss our future roles in the church, we do not use that kind of inspiring language. We do not refer to the imagery of epic battles and spiritual warfare. We leave that to the boys.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard women say “I feel called to marry a pastor” or “I want to marry a church planter.” Heck, I’ve said it myself! But it’s not often that you hear women talk about their own calling to ministry, their own desire to start a church where no church has gone before, their own sweeping visions for the Kingdom of God.

But regardless of where you stand on the topic of women in ministry, there is a degree to which women are unequivocally called to plant churches and lead within the church. Why? Because no person can plant a church alone. No person can lead a congregation alone. It takes a team of visionaries, a group of hard workers with varying gifts to pull off such an undertaking.

So even if you feel that only men should be senior pastors, a minister is nothing without fellow church planters, both male and female. You never hear about a solitary pastor starting a church in his apartment by preaching to his living room furniture and his dog. Instead, you hear about a team of individuals, couples, families and singles who begin meeting and worshiping together, all with one shared goal for their community–the spread of the Gospel.

That said, women are definitely called to be church planters. While there are certainly instances in which a woman must work or stay at home so that her husband is freed up to focus solely on starting a church, that is not the only role that women can fill. If your husband is called to plant a church, then you are not merely “the wife of a church planter”–YOU are a church planter! The two of you are likely called to the same purpose, so you’re not simply tagging along for the ride. Your husband needs a co-laborer who will build him up, spur him on, fill in the ministry gaps that he is not gifted to fill. He needs a fellow soldier who will wield a sword alongside of him.

And if you are single and feel called to church planting, don’t just wait around for a husband who feels the same way. Perhaps God wants you to take action now, to jump on board with a team of people who are praying towards the same end. You can lend your time, experience, training, education, and leadership wherever you are. The church certainly needs it.

Regardless of your circumstances, take ownership of the desire that God has written onto your female heart. Men are not the only ones who God calls to be warriors–the moment you committed to follow Christ, you became a part of a cosmic battle in which you are expected to fight. We are all soldiers together, so take hold of the call to which God is compelling you, and take up your sword. The forces of evil will quake with fear and dread if you will only rise up and respond to God’s battle cry. It’s time to fight like a girl.

Last week I almost didn’t tithe….deliberately.

The sermon had just ended and I was sitting in my seat, all ready to stick my little check in the offering bucket. Then one of the pastors made an announcement about an upcoming event, and I immediately reconsidered my decision. He explained that, in connection with the current sermon series on dating and marriage, the church staff would babysit everyone’s children so that parents could have a date night together. In addition to this gesture, the church would even provide the couples with $20 toward their evening. All of this was in the spirit of building up our members’ marriages, encouraging them to implement the principles they’d learned from the pulpit.

Well as soon as I heard this, I almost withheld my tithe. I live on a very meager salary, so while I don’t mind tithing for the purpose of running the church, sending people on missions, and aiding in charity, I wasn’t about to give my money away so that other people, who have more money than I do, could go out on a date. If that’s how the church was gonna use it, then I might as well hold onto it for myself! After all, I could use a date! Why do the people who already have a spouse and a job need my hard-earned money?

So I sat there for a moment or two, debating whether or not I should still give my tithe. Eventually the better side of me won out, and I gave my tithe anyway. As a member of my church, I trust, honor and respect the decisions of my leaders, so I decided to submit myself to them in this case, even if I didn’t fully understand. But I’m not gonna lie–I still feel a little irked about the whole thing. Sometimes being single is the pits.

(In light of some of the comments posted since I wrote this post, I feel the need to add that this was not meant to be an indictment of my church, which I LOVE very much. It was instead meant to be an honest reflection of my thought process. I have always desired that my honesty about my struggles might help others work through their own struggles. While I started at a place of frustration, I tried to end with a more godly attitude, which is the trajectory of what follows…)

Now before you assume that I’m writing this solely to vent my frustration, I want you to know that the idea for this post did not originate with me. It actually came from a pastor in Minnesota who is himself married. He wrote me with the following question, which took on new significance to me in light of this recent church experience:

How do churches, in an effort to emphasize healthy family ministry, send unintentional and innuendoed messages that say, “if you’re not a family (mom, dad, 2.5 kids, and a dog) you won’t fit in here.”

Some examples: displaying pictures of church leaders that include their families (message=gotta have a family to be a leader); family camping outing (message=not for singles); supper 8s (message=this is an event for couples, thus the even number). Am I overdoing this or am I on to something?… tell me what you really think.

When I first read this question several weeks ago, my initial reaction was one of slight disconnect. Honestly, being single is not something I struggle with very often. When there is an occasional church event for married couples, it doesn’t really phase me. Sure, there have been times when I’ve yearned for a husband, but it’s not a thorn in my side, and I generally haven’t felt like my church was alienating me in that regard.

But over the last several weeks as my pastor has preached through Song of Solomon, I’ve begun to see how many single people might feel that way. I’ve heard numerous statistics about how much happier married people are than single people, how married sex is better than single sex, and how marriage is the best means for sanctification that God has given us.

(And I can’t fail to mention that our “homework” at the end of each sermon has gone something like: “Single people: make a list of standards you should have for your spouse. Married people: go have mind-blowing sex.” Umm, can I please have the married people’s homework??)

So all of these subtle and not so subtle messages slowly piled up in my head, culminating with the announcement about the date night. That was the final straw. I felt that, while we are instructed to find completion in Christ alone, we are simultaneously taught that life is most rich and fulfilling when shared with a spouse. In doing so, our church leaders seem to be talking out of two different sides of their mouths.

And the more I have reflected on this, the more I have realized its effects on me. Like I said, I have always been content with my singleness, but I am starting to suspect that my contentment was merely an illusion. It’s not that I had accepted the possibility of never getting married, and was at peace with it. Rather, I was at peace with being single NOW, assuming that one day I will get married. My contentment rested on the hope of eventually getting married, not my fulfillment in Christ alone.

When I am completely honest with myself, I have to admit that my life will be missing something, somehow incomplete, if I don’t get married and have kids. And while there is a degree to which these desires are entirely God-given, there are times when our churches are irritating the waiting process.

This leaves us with an interesting predicament. On the one hand, marriage is one of the most fundamental building blocks of a healthy culture and church, so it’s important to build up our marriages as effectively as we can. That said, the solution to discontented singles is not to stop talking about marriage.

On the other hand, has the emphasis on building up the family become lop-sided? I suspect that it has, but how do we re-center ourselves?

In my opinion, there are two solutions to this problems, both of which require action on the part of us singles. Let us never become the sort of Christians who sit around and complain, but never do anything about it. The Church belongs to us as well, so we need to take ownership in its ministry. With that in mind, here’s what I believe we need to be doing:

1) Help your leaders in ministering to singles. If the sermons and ministries are becoming married-centric, voice your concerns to the pastors in a constructive and gentle way. Our leaders aren’t mind-readers, so they can’t know you are frustrated or struggling if you don’t tell them. Also, offer them ideas for ministering to single people, and when you propose your ideas, don’t simply expect them to take care of it for you–help them! Give of your time in serving the church so that they can more easily implement the changes you have proposed.

2) Continue striving for contentment in Christ alone. I know this sounds like a bit of a cop out, but no matter how hard your church tries, they can never make you feel secure if you yourself are not working toward that end. We have got to take responsibility for our own satisfaction in Christ, and as long as we live in a culture that sells sex and relationships as the ultimate source of happiness, this will be a struggle. It is a battle you must resolve to fight.

As someone who is in the trenches with you, please know that you are not alone if you are feeling lonely or frustrated. But as the saying goes, lonely single people only make for lonely married people, so the answer does not lie in finding a mate. The more we embrace this truth, the more we will experience peace. Not only do I desire such a peace, but I want to be so enveloped in Christ’s love that my only reaction to announcements about date nights and sermons about sex is rejoicing. Praise God for the gift of marriage! Maybe I will have that gift one day, but whether or not I do, I already have the greatest gift of all.

In the last 2000 years, Christians have done more than their fair share of stupid things. From insisting that the sun revolves around the earth, and persecuting those who say otherwise, to boycotting the anti-Christ that is Mickey Mouse, we have certainly made ourselves look silly. And those are only the minor infractions–I am ashamed to look back on the crusades, or the institution of slavery, knowing that Christians endorsed those murderous practices in the name of Jesus. Amidst all of those hypocritical decisions and behaviors, Christians certainly deserve some criticism.

Given this reality, it has become trendy in Christian circles to join in the chorus of mockers. The world wants to know if we recognize our own short-comings, so in an effort to be authentic, Christians are becoming increasingly vocal in their self-criticism.

This is, in some measure, healthy and warranted. We should never be so arrogant as to think that we are perfect. As 1 John 1 reminds us, when we believe we are without sin, then we deceive ourselves. What’s more, we strengthen our credibility when we admit our own faults. After viewing each documentary on the latest corrupt televangelist, my brother will call and ask what I think about it. For me to respond, “I disagree with that preacher. He is clearly in the wrong” assures my non-believing brother that I have not, in fact, been brain-washed, and that there are Christians who can think for themselves and recognize right from wrong.

But what concerns me is that this trend is frequently taken too far. It’s one thing for Lutherans to tell the occasional joke about themselves, or for Presbyterians to laugh about their “frozen chosenness”, but there comes a point at which this criticism is no longer fruitful. At some point, it stops being helpful and starts turning into slander.

Now the line between constructive criticism and slander is often hard to discern. I would liken it to gossip in the form of prayer requests–there are times when Christians deserve critique, but how do we go about voicing such concerns without tearing one another down, or ruining the Church’s reputation? Are we stating our thoughts carefully, gently, discerningly? Or are we throwing out defamatory statements merely to vent our frustrations, or to sound politically correct? Many times, I fall into the latter category.

As a member of a Baptist church and as a staff person in a Baptist ministry, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard Baptists dog one another. “Baptists who don’t drink are so narrow-minded,” or “Baptist bureaucracy is worthless. It’s just a waste of time and money,” or “Most Baptist pastors only care about conversion numbers, but you’ll never hear a sermon about the poor.” Whenever I hear people talk like this, I often think to myself, “Then why are you a Baptist??”

And the truth is, Baptists are not alone in this practice. Most denominational members engage in some degree of self-loathing. In fact, most Christians talk this way about other Christians in general. And when we do this, I can’t help but wonder what non-Christians think. If I were them, I would probably ask, “Why the heck are you a Christian if you seem to hate other Christians so much?” Not exactly the kind of group you’d want to be a part of.

That is why I challenge you to watch your tongue when you speak about the Church. Yes, the Church is populated by sinners, so we are all bound to mess up, but we are still the very Body of Christ–his hands and feet–so we need to speak about that Body with the honor and reverence that it deserves. This does not mean that we are always above reproach, but it should at least challenge us to dress our criticism in respect, grace and love.

Perhaps the best way to know if your criticism of Christians is fruitful, as opposed to slanderous, is to monitor the motivation and the quantity of it. Why are you saying these things? Is it because you are genuinely concerned about a problem, and you are willing to bring about change, or are you going to sit on the sidelines like a whining hypocrite who points out problems that you’ll never do anything about? And how often are you spewing this venom? Are you constantly complaining, or are you balancing your concerns with praise and affirmation of those Christians who are out doing the Lord’s work?

And finally, remember that you are a sinner saved by grace. I often think about how those slanderous comments are as so utterly ironic. It’s as if the speaker has never sinned, and is scandalized by the fact that God actually let sinners inside His Church. If we were to have any sort of grasp on our own sin, and the extent to which we’ve been forgiven, then we would spend less time judging each other and spend more time showing the grace that has been shown us. We only reveal ourselves to be the greatest of hypocrites when we judge others for being judgmental, or we gossip about others who gossip. Let us stop this nonsense now, and instead do the hard work of being known for love. It’s not as easy as complaining about the latest “dumb decision” that your convention made, but God didn’t exactly call us to “easy.”

In a couple weeks I will be turning 27, but you should know that I am a 70 year old living in the body of a twenty-something. For instance, I am a huge fan of the radio show “A Prairie Home Companion.” It comes on every Saturday night at 6pm, and it’s done in the style of old-timey radio programs. There are musical guests, comical skits, fake commercials, and I think it’s hilarious. I also think the average listener is 62.

My favorite part of “A Prairie Home Companion” is the segment called “The News from Lake Wobegon.” In this segment, the host tells stories from his fictional hometown, Lake Wobegon. The stories are always entertaining and clever, so I often find myself laughing out loud at his tales. But perhaps the best part about these stories is how well the teller captures the reality of human nature. I love his stories because they illustrate the true human experience, and I often see myself reflected in the characters he describes.

Well today I was listening to an old segment of “The News from Lake Wobegon,” and I was struck by how applicable it was to the present political race. This particular show aired the month before the 2004 Presidential election, and what follows is an excerpt from it. Keep in mind, the tone is largely tongue in cheek…

It’s been getting cool as Halloween comes along, and people are in a cautious mood, not because of Halloween but because of the election. People have to be careful about who they talk to and about what. Some people feel very strongly that the future of Western civilization is at stake on Tuesday, and you never know to whom you may be one of the infidels, so you have to walk lightly.

Val Tollefson went up to talk to Pastor Inkqvist about the sermon for Sunday. He was a little concerned because it was Reformation Sunday, and some of the conservatives in the congregation were a little leary that the pastor might use the occasion to talk about “reform” or “over-throwing the regime” or something of the sort. Val said, “Why don’t you just talk about homeland security. That’s what’s on everyone’s mind.” Pastor said, “I thought I would talk about salvation by grace…if that’s ok with you. I mean, we’ll sing ‘A Mighty Fortress is Our God,’ and that should pretty much take care of our security, no?”

The reason I have high-lighted this excerpt today is that it serves as a healthy reminder to Christians, especially as the presidential race escalates. I don’t know about you, but I have never been so enthralled by the election developments. It’s almost like a soap opera: “Stay tuned for tomorrow when the Ohio and Texas primaries may determine the future candidates of the election!” or “Tune in next time when Hillary and Barack debate for the 20th time!”

Unfortunately, it’s easy to get sucked into the excitement, and we soon forget our primary identities. It’s not that voting is unimportant, or that we shouldn’t be invested in the well-being of our country, but there is a time at which we need to kick ourselves in the pants and remember, “This world is not my home. My allegiance lies elsewhere. And with that in mind, I need to chill out!”

Along those lines, there is a fascinating book called “The Politics of Jesus,” written by theologian John Howard Yoder. In it, he does not make the move that I anticipated him making; he does not delineate the ways in which Jesus would or would not have voted. Instead, he reminds Christians that Jesus came to create an entirely new polis, one that constitutes our primariy citizenship. First and foremost, we belong to the city of God, not the city of Man, and that should instill in us a peace that cannot be shaken by the uncertainty of the Presidential race.

Again, that is not to say that we should be apathetic to the future of our nation. There is a degree to which we are called to make the world a better place, and one of the ways we can work this betterment is through the government. BUT, our first mode of change should be through the polis of Christ, which is the Church.

Scripture does not instruct Christians to rely on the government to care for the poor or love the oppressed–Scripture instead commands the Body of Christ to do these things. That said, the degree to which we become aggressive or panicked when discussing the election will reveal the primary source of our trust–we are either counting on the government to enact change, or we are counting on the Holy Spirit to enact change through the Church. You see regardless of our President, the Church will still be the Church, which means God is still moving in the world, and hope endures. In fact, a bad President may even enable the Church to shine all the brighter.

So no matter how the election ends, God will still be God. What’s more, God will use the next President to glorify Himself, regardless of who he or she might be. In the mean time, our task is to continue being the Church, and living as resident aliens in a foreign land. We must shine our light in the darkness, at times using the government to change systemic oppression when the occasion warrants, but our peace and security rest in Christ alone. A mighty fortress is our God, indeed.

For the last 48 hours I have been wretchedly ill with the stomach flu. You know, of all the short terms viruses that one can acquire, I think that stomach viruses are my least favorite. There’s nothing that makes you want to curl up and disappear more than lying on a bathroom floor for hours on end, only getting up periodically to stick your head in a toilet. And let me tell you, I also look and smell pretty amazing right now.

There has, however, been one silver lining to this experience, one way in which I actually feel blessed to have been sick. In the last two days, I have been reminded of how lucky I am to have such incredible friends. One friend brought me crackers and soda the moment I called him. Another friend dropped what she was doing to bring me chicken noodle soup and hot tea. And while she was making the soup, she drew me this amazing bath complete with relaxing bath salts and candles! Then, one of my roommates brought me a thoughtful get-well card and some medicine to help me sleep through the night. And as if that wasn’t enough to make me feel loved, I had numerous friends calling me multiple times all day long to see how I was doing. I am an indeed a lucky girl!

So being the theology nerd that I am, I had one recurring thought as each new person came to my aid–I love the church! Even though God Himself didn’t reach down to rub my back and make me soup, He used His Body to do so. Every time someone came by my house or called me to check on me, I could hear God whispering, “I’m here, Sharon. I’m taking care of you.”

And how do I know that I was experiencing supernatural love, and not a mere act of human kindness? God’s fingerprints were unmistakable in the extent to which people went out of their way for me. The sacrificial nature with which people repeatedly helped me did not as much reflect their love for me, as it did for Christ. No one likes having their plans ruined or delayed, no matter how great the cause, and my cause was not great. I felt sick, but the sickness would pass and I would eventually be fine regardless of whether or not someone made me some hot tea. But divine love goes beyond the bare minimum. Divine love is extravagant. It goes the extra mile to convey care and tenderness, even at personal expense. That is the kind of love I experienced, and that is why the servant-heartedness that I witnessed said more about my friends’ love for Jesus than it did about their love for me.

Therein lies the beauty of the Church. When you enter into it, you become a part of Christ’s very Body, which is love. Love is a fundamental characteristic of God’s identity, so when we take on that identity, we experience a love that defies human selfishness or reason.

So today, I just wanted to tell all my friends who have cared for me these last couple days how grateful I am, and how blessed I have been by your love and concern. But more importantly, I thank God for giving you all such servant hearts. My mom and dad were not there to take care of me, but I still knew I was in the presence of family. Thanks for loving me in a way that made me fall more in love with God.

Looking back on my chiildhood, there are only a handful of incidents that really stick out in my memory, or are seared into my brain. Let me tell you about one of them…

It happened one Sunday morning in church. My brother and I were trailing behind my dad as we scanned the pews for empty seats, and my eye caught a glimmer of the silver Communion trays sitting at the front of the church. Every time my church observed Communion, they set up a long table at the front of the sanctuary that served as a kind of focal point for worship. In doing so, the members of the congregation knew it was coming and were therefore able to prepare their hearts for it. At my young age, however, the presence of the Communion table meant only one thing: freshmade bread and grape juice! And this was the exact sentiment that I expressed upon noticing the table. I exclaimed, “Oh good, we get to eat! I am sooo hungry!”

Yes, I was a reverent little child.

Well as soon as this thought escaped my lips, my dad did something I will never forget (though he claims my memory has greatly exaggerated the scenario). He stopped dead in his tracks, wheeled around, grabbed me by the shoulders, looked me in the eye, and then spoke to me in a voice that chilled my bones: “Don’t you EVER talk about Communion that way again! Do you hear me?”

I think I mustered up a slight nod, so he stood up, turned around, and kept walking. I, however, was left feeling slightly dumbfounded, and more than a little scared. But, it was at that moment that I realized there was something special about Communion, something I’d never realized before. And obviously I never forgot it, though it took me a long time before I fully understood it.

Fast forward to college. When I was in undergrad I was extremely involved with my campus fellowship, leading in almost every capacity. And as a result of my involvement, I thought of that community as my church. Yes, I went to church Sunday mornings, but that was the extent of my participation there. My para-church was my real church, and I didn’t really see the difference between the two. Apparently I still had a lot to learn from my dad’s words.

This all leads me to the third mark of the church that we find in Acts 2: Communion (or Eucharist, depending on your tradition). Acts describes the Early Church as engaging in “the breaking of bread,” but this doesn’t refer to the act of merely dining together. Instead it is a direct reference to the partaking of bread and wine in remembrance of Christ. This act is not only a key mark of the Church, but it is also something that distinguishes it from para-churches, who generally do not practice Communion together.

Now as a college student, I didn’t really understand the importance of Communion. Sure, I thought it was a great practice, but a key marker of the Church? Not really. So of course I was shocked when I came to seminary and learned that throughout the Church’s History, theologian after theologian, and preacher after preacher, had all named Communion as one of THE main distinctives of the Church. Clearly they knew something that I didn’t. So what’s the big deal?

Well for starters, this practice comes from the last command that Jesus gave us before he died. Given that the last thing a person says before they die is probably going to be the most important, we can assume this command is top priority. But why was it so important to Jesus? What was it about this practice that he found so crucial?

The answer is fairly simple, an answer that should begin to sound pretty familiar since it is virtually the same as the other marks of the Church: It centers our identity on Christ. In practicing Communion we come together to profess the source of our unity and the foundation of our identity, which is Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection. Our unity is not in our denomination, our prefered style of worship, our Calvinism, or our passion for social justice. None of those things define us as a body. It is Christ alone that distinguishes us and sets us apart.

In this way, Communion not only serves as a reminder of why we live and what we are about, but it is a kind of community glue. We may have disagreements with one another over petty differences, but when we come together to the Lord’s Table we are reminded that there is a unity that is stronger than our divisions. If we can still profess faith in Christ alone, together, then that profession is what defines us and unites us.

And as I said, this mark of the Church is one of the key distinctions between the Church and the para-church. There are other distinctions, but Communion is perhaps the most pressing. If you are not involved in a body of believers that *frequently* practices Communion together, then that is cause for concern, not only because it is a primary way in which we acknowledge our faith and unity with one another, but because Jesus commanded it. There is no doubt that Jesus meant this to be a central mark of His Body, so we cannot profess faith in him and then ignore his teaching on this. The practice of Communion is a tangible, public way of professing your faith, as well as acknowledging the reason for your unity with Christ’s body, and that right there is why it is such an important pillar of the Church’s identity.

For the last 8 years of my life, I have been involved in a Baptist church. I was actually raised Presbyterian, but I somehow wound up in the Baptist church, and over the years I have learned a lot about Baptists that I never knew before. One thing in particular that I have learned is that they NEVER gather together without food. Potluck dinners, barbecues, dessert parties–these have all served as the central component of fellowship events that I’ve attended with other Baptists. We like to eat, and we like to eat together.

Well this brings me to the next mark of the Church that we find in Acts 2:42-47–Fellowship. For a lot of Christians, the word “fellowship” means fun time with friends, or gatherings and get togethers with other Christians. For Baptists, it often means homemade food, and lots of it! And while that is a component of fellowship, it is not what makes fellowship a central mark of the Church.

True Christian fellowship, fellowship that builds up the Church and defines its basic character, is not simply friendship between Christians. True Christian fellowship occurs when Christ is *actively* placed at the center of a friendship, group of people, event, or time together. Just because a bunch of Christians hang out together does not mean fellowship is occuring. In fact, it can be quite the opposite. The people who have pulled me down the most in my life have often been other Christians, because I trusted their judgment more and didn’t challenge them when they made poor decisions. Christ was anything BUT the center of our interactions.

You can see this phenomenon of mutual tearing-down play out in a variety of ways. I remember one time when I hung out at a guy friend’s apartment, and when I walked through the door I saw that a group of my friends were watching an R rated movie that had an explicit sex scene in it. The situation was very uncomfortable for me because all the guys were watching the sex scene transpire, yet none of them were objecting to it. If one person had just stood up and said something, the guys would have probably flipped it off immediately, but no one did. So they all watched it together, and they all pulled one another down with their passivity.

Other examples of this non-fellowshipping fellowship include the music we listen to together, how much we drink together (I know a LOT of Christians who push the limits of sobriety in the name of Christian liberty), the way we dance together (fyi, it’s not cool to grind up on a guy no matter where you are or how godly he is!), the way we gossip with one another, and so on. In all of these situations, we are by no means fellowshipping with one another, because we have placed some other idol at the center of the relationship, rather than Christ.

With all of that in mind, true fellowship requires a great degree of intention–you can’t just approach it passively. You cannot assume that because you’re all Christians, your time together will be edifying. You have to *actively* place Christ at the center.

And that is the very definition of the Church. The Church, being the Body of Christ, derives its very identity from Christ. It does not exist apart from Christ. We can go in a building and sing songs and eat food, but if Christ is not the core of it, then that is not the Church. In this way, fellowship is a mark of the Church because it describes a group of Christians who are coming together, actively acknolwedging the source of their identity and their relationship with one another–Jesus Christ.

So take a look at your friendships, and ask yourself what is at the center of them. What kinds of things do you talk about on a regular basis? No, you don’t always have to be discussing theological abstractions and spiritual insights, but if you can’t remember the last time you asked one of your friends how they’re doing spiritually, then that’s a problem. If Christ is truly at the center of our lives, then he should always be on the tips of our tongues, an easy source of conversation and thought. We all need fellowship, but it does not come naturally no matter how many Christians you hang around. We need to work together. That work is fellowship.

In my last entry I posted an article about the Church, and it contained one of the greatest analogies I have ever heard: You can’t love Jesus and hate his wife. That is, you can’t love Jesus and hate his bride, the Church. So many young people today are ALL about Jesus, but ironically hate the Church. They conveniently overlook the fact that the Church is both Christ’s bride, and his body. Jesus probably appreciates this kind of slander about as much as a man would appreciate someone talking smack about his wife.

When it comes to the Church, our generation desperately needs a smack upside the head, because this behavior is unacceptable. And these next few blogs are meant to serve as just such a smack. I am going to take some time to look at the marks of the Church, not only because we should know what the Church looks like, but because we are the future leaders of the Church. The Church in America is dying, and if young adults continue to approach the Church with such apathy and complacent consumerism, then we cannot expect the trend to change. We will seal its fate.

If, however, you desire to see change, revival, and growth in the American church, then take these marks to heart, because it will be your responsibility to guard them in the very near future.

The passage I’m going to draw from in this series of blogs is Acts 2:42-47. Here we observe a healthy church that is engaging in intimate fellowship, but not to the point of becoming a clique. They have a heart for the poor, and God is also adding newly converted individuals to their number daily. This is the kind of church we should emulate.

That being said, the first mark of the Church that I want to discuss is found in verse 42:

“They devoted themselves to the apostles teaching.”

What is the first mark of a church? –>Preaching Gospel-centered doctrine. Yes, this seems obvious, but it’s importance cannot be understated. We live in a culture that tends to rank sincerity over truth–”as long as I believe something with all my heart, then it must be true, right?”

Wrong. I can sincerely believe that I can fly when I jump off my roof, but that doesn’t mean I will. Not only does sincere belief NOT make something true, but it can actually be deeply harmful, especially in matters of eternity. I can sincerely believe I can fly…all the way down to splatting on the ground.

That is why the church CANNOT be based upon sincerity alone (though sincerity is important!). It must be based on truth. More specifically, it must be based on the Gospel. It is truth, not our emotions or sentimentalities about the truth, that form the Church’s foundation, so we must work hard to guard that foundation.

That being said, we must be sure to serve in a church that believes the Gospel completely, not just parts of it. This means you need to listen for what your church teaches, as well as what it does NOT teach. As D.A. Carson says, “Error is truth out of proportion,” so take note that your church is preaching ALL that is in Scripture, not just the parts of the Gospel that make them comfortable. Part of the Gospel is not the Gospel at all–it is more likely legalism or works-righteousness.

That is what it means to “devote ourselves to the apostles’ teaching.” Devotion is whole-hearted, uninhibited, and faithful adherence. That is the kind of commitment to the Gospel that we should see in our churches. It is also the kind of legacy we ourselves should be leaving. Don’t be arrogant, but be true. Our time as leaders is coming, so fight for right doctrine.

That’s right, Jesus’ wife.

Below is a blog that you have GOT to read. It’s entitled “You Can’t Love Jesus and Hate His Wife,” and I think it has a prophetic message for young adults today. It’s a little long, but even if you don’t make it all the way through, the initial analogy is worth the read. Hopefully this blog will help you to understand why I spend so much time talking about the importance of the church. I consider this author a kindred spirit.

Enjoy!
You Can’t Love Jesus and Hate His Wife